Just a little question. - Writers Forum

k3ng · 08-16-2005, 12:46 AM

I'm just seeing the general idea, sort of a research of my own. Feel free to answer (honestly

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Oasis Writer · 08-16-2005, 12:51 AM

Forgiveness is the only way anyone will grow. I have a good link for Christians that has to deal with forgiveness and explains it better than I can, for forgiveness from God to just people and little fueds.

http://www.bible.com/answers/aforgive.html

That's my honest, k3ng

Aeryn · 08-16-2005, 01:08 AM

To me it depends on the subject. Most of the time I can let bygones be bygones, sometimes I can forgive but never forget, and then again if it's bad enough I want an eye for an eye!

midlandsmuse · 08-16-2005, 02:32 AM

I operate on a sort of middle ground between option one and option two.

I do not let indiscretion get to me, I don't dwell on it but I do have a belief that what goes around comes around.

For instance:

My ex did something very bad (which I won't go into here). Many people wish her dead for what she did. I am simply indifferent as I have no control over it. I dealt with the aftermath as best as I could but I truly believe that one day she will suffer for what she did. Though not at my hand nor will I have anything to do with it. It's just the way I think it works.

mammamaia · 08-16-2005, 12:34 PM

1.
regardless of the circumstances, life's too short for holding grudges...

2.
if you truly forgive someone, you WILL forget... if you keep thinking about it, then you haven't really forgiven them completely, have you?

3.
and exacting revenge only makes you just as bad...

midlandsmuse · 08-16-2005, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starrwriter

Quote:

My ex did something very bad (which I won't go into here). Many people wish her dead for what she did. I am simply indifferent as I have no control over it. I dealt with the aftermath as best as I could but I truly believe that one day she will suffer for what she did. Though not at my hand nor will I have anything to do with it. It's just the way I think it works.

Wishful thinking. Far too many screw people for gain their entire lives and die happy in the lap of luxury. Karma is a revenge myth embraced by the victims.

Your opinion. I have mine. all I will say is that I prefer not worrying about it and not having what she did eat me up inside than plotting, wishing for or carrying out revenge.

mammamaia · 08-16-2005, 03:25 PM

you're a wise being, mm!... i agree with you wholeheartedly... i have to admit it took me till i was well into my 50s to learn that, however!

love and hugs, maia

midlandsmuse · 08-16-2005, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mammamaia

i have to admit it took me till i was well into my 50s to learn that, however!

I won't go into what happened but it was a case of learning that lesson very quickly or add more weight to my shoulders.

Quote:

love and hugs, maia

Thanks.

Londongrey · 08-16-2005, 06:06 PM

I believe there are some things you can never forgive, I could never forgive my partner if he cheated on me. I wouldn't hold a grudge either, but to forgive in certain situations is beyond the pale.

ooghost1oo · 08-16-2005, 06:17 PM

Very little in life is important enough to stay angry.

speculative · 08-16-2005, 07:46 PM

After working in offices for a number of years, I can say that the amount of actual personal growth I have seen amongst various colleagues is next to zero. What does this mean? It means that if they wrong someone they will do it again, and probably in the same way. To survive in those environments you have to remember the past, or it will come back to bite you in ways you can't possibly imagine until those jaws are clamped down around your head...

k3ng · 08-16-2005, 11:25 PM

Here's a different view on forgiving. (Warning-language.)
http://vbglau.blogspot.com/2005/08/l...ng-people.html

And just to add a little info, the poll is more on what you would do rather than what you believe is right. For instance, I know it is the right thing to do to forgive people and all, but I'd rather return whatever 'favour' he has given me.

Hodge · 08-17-2005, 01:26 AM

Two requirements for my forgiveness:

1) Admission that they did something wrong

2) An apology

That's all. But until then, I will make a conscious effort to hold a grudge (I have a hard time holding grudges—been working on that).

Ilan Bouchard · 08-17-2005, 02:01 AM

Hodge, that's a simple but very commendable way of looking at it.

I do not find revenge. That just gives them further excuse to continue whatever it is they did.

I must admit though, there are some people in my life that anger me so much that I have to restrain myself from physically assaulting them (and once I did, but I punched them directly in the chest and pulled my punch to keep from hurting them. Unfortunately, this didn't relieve my stress very much, and let them decide that I was physically weak. I just may have to kill him...).

The only thing to do is ignore them. If they would do whatever it is that would warrant an apology, and if they refuse to apologize, then I have no respect for them, and those I don't respect aren't worth my time, and can do very little to truly bother me.

Victoria Island · 08-17-2005, 07:30 PM

i do terrible things like i let bygonnes be bygonnes but not tell them streight away and make them beg for my forgiveness to see how important i really am to them.

i ususally firgive and forget but sometimes its just not possible.