Empathy Overload - Writers Forum

**Penelope** · 04-30-2005, 07:38 AM

I've spent most of my life feeling empathy for people who are in trying situations and I've come to some disheartening conclusions.

Some people are users, plain and simple. They will suck every iota of strength from anyone who comes within glomming range. They think they are an isolated incident. This is due to an over abundance of ego and self indulgance.

In addition, they are positive they can't make it without availing themselves of crutches which they expect everyone to be tolerant of.

Their ability to show compassion is limited to whether it is beneficial to them. They'll upstage any declarations of misery felt by others so that their situation is obviously more disasterous.

I spent twenty years with a partner who abused substances and had an addiction. The heart breaking discovery that their weakness took precedence over any efforts to address it gave me a clarity of insight into what a user is.

It doesn't end with their choice of a crutch, it expands into other people's lives, hopes and dreams. I came to the realization that if I wasn't allowed to part of a solution, I didn't have to be part of the problem. My life improved immeasurably from that moment on.

So, if anyone wants help, I'm there but if they just want to be allowed to continue on without any desire to deal with their affliction, they can count me out. It's my way of coping with chronic users. Rest assured, I've had enough misery to justify getting myself lost in the vortex and chose to feel good because I knew people who'd gone through much worse and were still lucid human beings.

Pawn · 04-30-2005, 04:09 PM

Consider that seconded.

As for ego and self-indulgence, well, nobody's perfect...

Rico · 04-30-2005, 04:14 PM

*hopes desperately you're not referring to me, and if so, abject apologies*

I'll third that, if anyone cares.

**Penelope** · 04-30-2005, 07:47 PM

Pawn - there is nothing wrong with ego or self-indulgence as long as it doesn't impare other people's freedoms. Ego is healthy and self indulgence is why we work and make money to spend. Those who never indulge themselves are not aware of the reward concept.

Rico! Do not be so conceited!

Of course I wasn't referring to you!

Mia - It took me twenty years to become this 'eloquent' on such matters. I had to get out of the feeling guilty mode and into the 'right to be me' atmosphere. It wasn't easy.

skatergirl · 05-01-2005, 05:03 PM

I just assume I suck at everything,(lol) that way I can't let my ego get ahead of me...
uh anyway I agree.