so, am I the only one who deals with this, or what???? - Writers Forum

ms.alphabet · 04-13-2005, 06:38 AM

It's just like, no one understands the writers life! My parents and sibs are all like, just happy to see me get to writing IF i have the time and when I can't stop typing they just figure I'm being self-indulgent and selfish. If I choose to stay back and work rather than say, go for a walk, they get upset.

I'll go through these phases where I can't sleep at night because my mind is going crazy about the next chapter opener, etc. and then I'm totally exhausted during the day. All they can say is that I'm a workaholic. They don't realize that the inspiration comes on its own and that I would gladly sleep a night through without being prodded awake with character names and scenes.

The crazy thing about my fam is that they go nuts that I write so much and then get all excited about my pub'd work to their friends. Like they tout that I'm pub'd and that I have more books on the way but then at home they come to my desk and are like, "Do you *have* to do that?" It really drives me nuts because writing is my life and they just want me to walk away from it.

Maybe that's why I take advantage of finding groups like this, where I know everyone here understands what it means to be a writer. I was just wondering if this lack of support bugs all of you, too?

Well, cya guys.

damien_frosst · 04-13-2005, 09:20 AM

I don't know you or your situation really, but it sounds like a balance issue. I love to write, as do most of the people on this forum. But, there's other things to life. You need to take time to do those other things.

Yes, inspiration hits at odd times and in strange places. Carry a notebook, jot the inspiration down and move on with what you were doing. Your idea will keep if you've captured the essence of it.

Don't give up everything just for writing, make sure that there's something else in your life that you can do when you need to.

Most importantly, let your family know how important your writing is to you. Make sure they understand that when you're writing, you're working, and that you want to be left to work.

Good luck with it. Keep writing!

NeverHeardOfHer · 04-13-2005, 09:50 AM

Yes, it's nice to be part of a group like this, but it also sounds like your parents need to be part of a group. They need to hear from people besides you, especially other parents, that yes, this is a writer's life. Do you have any friends who write too? Do your parents know anyone else who is a writer? Have them talk to each other about it.

Also--very important--you must not be interrupted. It is not reasonable for them to come to your desk and ask, "Do you have to do that?" You need privacy and independence. The answer to their question is "Yes." Then you indicate your published work with a sweep of your hand. "And this is the result."

Pawn · 04-13-2005, 10:59 AM

I'd also recommend that you stop using the word 'like' superfluously.

PaPa · 04-13-2005, 11:24 AM

No offence, but stop being a whiney little bitch. You might find that helps.

Okay, that was harsh. Sorry.

NeverHeardOfHer · 04-13-2005, 11:32 AM

Wait a minute. Hold it. I just did my research. Should have done it first. Do I understand correctly that you are about 22 years old and a college graduate? Your family bugs you because you write instead of doing family things with them like going for a walk? Time to cut the apron strings, girl.

ms.alphabet · 04-13-2005, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaPa

No offence, but stop being a whiney little bitch. You might find that helps.

Okay, that was harsh. Sorry.

No, I needed to hear it.

I should learn to just shut up and swallow my own problems. Sorry for buggin' ya . . .

PaPa · 04-13-2005, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ms.alphabet

No, I needed to hear it.

I should learn to just shut up and swallow my own problems. Sorry for buggin' ya . . .

Hey, no need to bring on the guilt trip. I said sorry...

Mike C · 04-13-2005, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaPa

No offence, but stop being a whiney little bitch. You might find that helps.

Okay, that was harsh. Sorry.

Harsh, but fair. Everyone suffers external pressures. Not even writers are entitled to the rent free ivory tower.

Oracle · 04-13-2005, 04:07 PM

My family has always been pretty encouraging. I don't write all the time, and I do spend alot of time doing other things, but they have no problem when I sit down and write for a while.

Ilan Bouchard · 04-13-2005, 09:20 PM

You should definitely talk to them. You could even just show them this post, like leave it on the computer or something if you don't want to personally bring it up.

Succubus · 04-13-2005, 10:51 PM

Ms Alphabet,
When I was a kid, my Mum did worry about me spending so much time locked away either reading or writing. But I was lucky, my folks encouraged my writing by buying me an electronic typewriter back when I was about 10.

I'd say your parents may be concerned you're missing out on life and living it through paper. However, if you're happy, then tell them so and they'll probably acknowledge that as 'good enough for them'.