Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will
be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
| The Lounge Off-topic posts welcome here. |
10-07-2008, 04:10 PM
|
#16
|
|
Profound Writer
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,184
|
I think writerdude meant find love in the strangest places, PS
__________________
Sanguis Malus~Bona Mente Datur
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 04:11 PM
|
#17
|
|
Ink Slinger
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Here, usually
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,039
|
Uh... yeah... That's what I meant. (slightly embarrased now...) 
__________________
I have traveled across the universe through the years to find her. Sometimes going all the way is just a start. (Meat Loaf)
|
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 04:13 PM
|
#18
|
|
Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: East Tennessee
Gender: Female
Posts: 686
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by WriterDude
I'm sorry to hear about your loss, PSFoster... But please hang in there. Trust me when I say you can love in the strangest places.  |
Well, I live in one of the strangest places! These here mountain men can be tough, and even sweet, but they're usually broke, too. I don't need a poor man, I'm already poor.
Shoot, I don't need to worry about it. But threads like these do kinda make me think about...well, nevermind.
__________________
I'm too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed.
|
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 04:15 PM
|
#19
|
|
Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Fayette-Nam, NC
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,731
|
It is Friday night and Superman is bored. He decides to fly to his local, but isn’t keen at the prospect of drinking alone, so on the way he calls at Spiderman’s house.
Spiderman answers the door and says, “I’m sorry, Superman, but I can’t come to the pub tonight. The web mechanism on my wrist is broken. I’m fighting crime tomorrow and I must fix my web mechanism.”
Superman flies away, and en route to the pub, calls the home of Captain America. Captain America answers the door and says, “I’m sorry, Superman, but I can’t come to the pub tonight. I’m fighting crime tomorrow and I need to pump some iron or else I won’t be fit enough to fight crime.”
Superman understands their need for preparation. Crime fighting is an important job.
As he flies over Wonder Woman’s house, Superman peeks through her skylight to find her naked on the bed, squirming around looking all kinds of hot and juicy. He thinks to himself, I’m faster than a speeding bullet. I could be in and out of there in micro-seconds and Wonder Woman would never know what hit her!
So, in he goes, wham-bam and he's out of there.
Wonder Woman sits up and exclaims, “What the hell was that?”
The Invisible Man stands up, rubbing his bottom and says, “I don’t know, but my ass hurts like hell.” |
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 04:16 PM
|
#20
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Location, Location
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,610
|
To the tune of "On Top Of Old Smokey":
On top of old Sophie
All covered in sweat
I've used fourteen condoms
And she hasn't come yet.
Cos screwing's a pleasure
And farting's relief
But a long-winded woman
Is nothing but grief.
She'll kiss you and hug you
And say "Won't be long"
But seven hours later
She's still going strong.
So come all you lovers
And listen to me
Don't waste your erection
On a long-winded she.
|
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 04:18 PM
|
#21
|
|
Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Fayette-Nam, NC
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,731
|
Nah, you just need to find the clitoris, Non.  |
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 04:21 PM
|
#22
|
|
Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: East Tennessee
Gender: Female
Posts: 686
|
ROFLMAO at Seigfried & Non Serviam!!!!
__________________
I'm too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed.
|
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 04:24 PM
|
#23
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Location, Location
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,610
|
Let's put it this way...
... both genders can have sexual dysfunction. "He's got hair-trigger problem" can be a very convenient way for a woman to avoid facing the fact that she's frigid.
Or it can be plain sexual incompatibility.
But "he's over too fast" doesn't always mean the bloke's got a problem. It only means that sometimes. |
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 04:27 PM
|
#24
|
|
Mentor
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,795
|
Quote:
|
But "he's over too fast" doesn't always mean the bloke's got a problem. It only means that sometimes.
|
The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks.
__________________
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
-- Albert Einstein
"I am really only interested in a fiction of miracles."
-- Flannery O'Connor
|
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 04:29 PM
|
#25
|
|
Ink Slinger
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Here, usually
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,039
|
Pft, if he is "too fast", he just has a lot to learn. If you have an entire toolbox at your disposal, why do you insist on only using the faulty tool? 
Um... that sounds a bit dirty, though...
__________________
I have traveled across the universe through the years to find her. Sometimes going all the way is just a start. (Meat Loaf)
|
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 04:31 PM
|
#26
|
|
Ink Slinger
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Here, usually
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,039
|
And PSFoster, what I meant with "strangest places" is simply that if you can't find love where you are, look elsewhere.
__________________
I have traveled across the universe through the years to find her. Sometimes going all the way is just a start. (Meat Loaf)
|
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 04:39 PM
|
#27
|
|
Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: East Tennessee
Gender: Female
Posts: 686
|
I know, Dude. I was just struck by the 'strangest places' phrase.
I can't afford to go Elsewhere. Any elsewheres are too far away. Maybe I'll see if I can find a big old bear up here and hibernate with him.
__________________
I'm too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed.
|
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 04:40 PM
|
#28
|
|
Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Fayette-Nam, NC
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,731
|
Have to agree with Joe and PSFoster on that, Non. The gentleman is protesting too much
Frigidity is a problem a guy can solve pretty well if he has half a neuron devoted to the task. Wait til she wants it. If she wants it, even a minute-long performance might just be enough (average intercourse only lasts 3-10 minutes anyway). Simply put, it's called foreplay. Nuff said.
YouTube - Flight of the Conchords- Business Time
When it's with me, you only need two minutes. It's 'cause I'm so intense... (awkward pause) Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven.
--Jermaine
Last edited by seigfried007 : 10-07-2008 at 04:46 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 05:04 PM
|
#29
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Location, Location
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,610
|
*shrug*
Female anorgasmia can happen for a lot of reasons. Happened to my wife a few years back, and I blamed myself.
Turns out it was her anti-depressants. Changed the brand and the problem went away.
|
|
|
|
|
10-07-2008, 05:15 PM
|
#30
|
|
Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Fayette-Nam, NC
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,731
|
Anti-depressants are horrible about that--but that ain't a minute man issue either, Non. I was like that on anti-depressants (and it takes something major to keep me uninterested and incapable)
I've heard diabetes can have that effect on people too.
But that ain't a minute man issue either.
More of a "Good grief, my right arm is going to be huge and striated by the end of this" problem.
|
|
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:49 AM. Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0
|
|
Newsletter |
 |
|
Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
|
|
Link to Us: 
|
|
