pregnancy - Page 7 - Writers Forum

KangTheMad · 10-01-2008, 10:07 AM

Do you want to break people, or make them good parents? That might break some people...

Kayleigh7 · 10-01-2008, 10:11 AM

I want to make good parents. But, I will say that there are some parents that need something broke! Its amazing the things I hear and see when walking through walmart. My boyfriend thinks its funny at how mad I get.

KangTheMad · 10-01-2008, 10:12 AM

lol. I would pass the test with flying colors!

Kayleigh7 · 10-01-2008, 10:15 AM

I'm gonna end up in jail for beating some poor little kids mom up.

seigfried007 · 10-01-2008, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kayleigh7

I think people should have to have a license to breed. If you don't pass the test, you get neutered/spayed.

If we have to have a license to drive..why shouldn't we for being parents. I'd like to get my hands on that Casey Anthony lady. Lock me in a room with her..I'll get her to talk!

It's very easy to think that a 'breeding test' would somehow eliminate b ad parenting. Unfortunately, the truth of the matter regarding breeding tests is that they're a horrible idea.

Who makes such a test? More than likely, someone who's never had children, who makes quite a bit of money and thinks a certain amount of funds per child in a given area should be required of said parents/caretakers, who has at least a college education (more than likely a Ph.D.) and thinks that education = intelligence= wisdom= a good parent.

By that logic, I shouldn't be a parent nor should most parents. But that doesn't make us bad parents.

Abusive parents are in every category of humanity--as are good parents. A test won't solve that problem. And even after taking a test and having all the right answers, someone can still be a horrible parent (just like passing a driving exam to get a license).

Also, when would someone take the test? People are breeding younger and younger (and older and older), should we sterilize a 12-yr-old because he/she can't pass the test? What about 9- and 10-yr-olds? After all, some of them can pop out a few unwanted/unplanned brats (and force their parents into taking care of them). Sterilization is kind of permanent and reversals of said surgeries don't always go well. Or do we automatically sterilize all people by tubal ligation/vasectomy at birth just to be sure no one has an unplanned child until they pass the test?

Personally, as much as despise the regs of humanity popping out neglected/abused children, I like the idea of someone dictating what I can and can't do much more. No one on Earth should have the power to dictate who should or should not have children (and certainly not to take a child away from a healthy, loving home just because someone didn't pass the offical road test of parenting).

Kayleigh7 · 10-01-2008, 12:00 PM

Im not just referring to the people that get pregnant and have their own biological children, but also the people that adopt/become foster parents. If I could have it my way my daughter would wear a chastity belt.

I know its not really possible to have a test..but it sure as hell would be nice.

seigfried007 · 10-01-2008, 12:29 PM

Actually, you can buy chastity belts (for both sexes)

JosephB · 10-01-2008, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Im not just referring to the people that get pregnant and have their own biological children, but also the people that adopt/become foster parents.

They do vary in stringency, but there are vetting processes for foster and adopting parents. We are just now looking into both, and there are interviews, background checks, home inspections etc.

seigfried007 · 10-01-2008, 02:08 PM

Certainly (and massive fees too) but none of those prevent foster or adoptive parents from being any less abusive or neglectful. Some of the worst cases of child abusive I've read about or witnessed occurred in adoptive or foster homes (the home and parents must pass said inspections and interviews and tests).

SacredCircle · 10-01-2008, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by simplicity

You'd think a doctor would know exactly how to cut on each person. Size doesn't really matter in woman. ( I wouldn't think ).. That is odd though. I've had four of my own, and have been in the room for a lot of different births ( friends and my sisters ) and they've all had apesiotomies that went just fine. Very weird, if I do say so myself.

Don't let the horror stories scare you. If you're seriously considering, ask people the great stories and tell them you don't want to hear the bad ones. That's what my littlest sister is doing now. When somebody starts off the sentence " When I was giving birth " she interupts by saying " I only want to hear good stories, so if this is bad, please don't continue." and they oblige.

I really don't know much about pregnancy, honestly. But the more I learn the more it scares me =) So when she started talking about cutting, I didn't ask anymore questions!
I will definitely make sure to tell people to not tell me their horror stories.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kayleigh7

hmmm..I don't know that is necessarily why she is finding it boring. I mean, it could be, but its possible that her hormones and everything else went haywire. I know for myself I didn't want to have sex, be looked at, touched, or talked to the entire time I was preggers with my daughter..that could be because I was married to an ass wipe too though. However, with my son..I was like a nympho!

No. It's boring for her because she was cut in such a way that she is much bigger than before. I thought that happened anyways, but she said not the extreme that she is now. *shivers*

seigfried007 · 10-01-2008, 04:24 PM

Episiotomies are a necessary surgery in some cases--particularly with small women, first births and/or large babies. Essentially, by making an incision between the vagina and the anus (an episiotomy), recovery time is reduced. Tearing of that area is very common in birth (big surprise) but tears take much longer to heal than straight cuts.

Trust me, if she needed an episiotomy it would have been much worse without one. My m-i-l didn't get one and took six months to heal enough for sex.

Sounds more like she's vain and needs something to complain about. You don't have kids to feel sexy and if you expect to go through pregnancy and childbirth and somehow come out of it sexier than you were before by virtue of your physical nature alone, you are mistaken and a stooge at that. If you want kids, you'll just have to put up with things like stretch marks, a saggy lower belly, veins taht stand out more than you'd like, birthing hips, etc.

Sex shouldn't be boring just because of an episiotomy. Scarring can dull sensation, but considering most of the pleasant nerves are on the non-incised portions of the vagina and the way you talked about her reasons, it still sounds more like she's letting her self-image get the better of her (and just looking for people to blame).

I'ts no better with a midwife. Midwives can't do surgeries but doctors don't generally waste time performing unnecessary surgeries (and sometimes have to be coerced into performing necessary ones).

She was going to be bigger with or without an episiotomy. Just happens with kids. Lose weight and concentrate on toning up that region (all kinds of exercises for toning up the pubic and perianal region--especially sex and Kegels). Not a big deal and nothing permanent (and even if it would've been otherwise, it's not like she can't get a nip/tuck down there).

Kayleigh7 · 10-01-2008, 04:26 PM

my boyfriend always jokes and says that he paid the doctor under the table to throw in an extra stitch just incase that happened. lol

Kayleigh7 · 10-01-2008, 04:27 PM

Tell her to do Kegel excercises.