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| Literary Maneuvers "Fortnightly" write-offs, competition, feedback 'n' fun. |
07-28-2008, 12:27 AM
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#31
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Mentor
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: cape cod, USA
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,814
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Thanks guys,
I wanted to keep the combustion thing internal and relate it emotion outbursts and this kind of developed.
Hey edropus,
I have read some books by King and I'll have to admit I like his style. Chris is right though when he says that he has a tendency to drag things out. Commercial writing.
Suspending belief is the one thing all writers aim for and having a nice feel for how much you can make the reader buy is something that will never fail you to have.
Mike,
No kidding. I read the IMDB on that movie and it was close, IE. Orwellian society, emotion is banned.
It read like on the flavor of Logan's Run. Another movie that's similar to that is THX1138 (George Lucas).
Pete
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07-28-2008, 12:36 AM
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#32
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Out in the bush, Queensland, Australia, far from the madding crowd
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,370
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Quote:
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Suspending belief is the one thing all writers aim for
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__________________
Why should you vote for me, in valeca’s Writing Challenge contest? Because I’m an all-round nice guy? Because I'm a brilliant writer? Ok, you think of a reason. Just so you vote for me, ok?  CLICK BELOW for the voting booth http://www.writingforums.com/writing...n-contest.html
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07-28-2008, 02:25 AM
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#33
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Scribe
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Gulag
Gender: Male
Posts: 83
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Congrats to the winners, this was pretty fun. I just noticed that my fake news story scored higher with the male judges.
Eggo's story is definately worthy. Although I thought we couldn't take part if we suggested the challenge?
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Маркович
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07-28-2008, 02:42 AM
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#34
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Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Western PA. Again.
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,555
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Sure you can--why not? It's not like coming up with the theme gives you an unfair advantage over everyone who didn't come up with the theme.
__________________
"If you're a freelance writer and aren't used to being ignored, neglected, and generally given short shrift, you must not have been in the business very long." - Poppy Z. Brite
The Oddville Press
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07-28-2008, 03:00 AM
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#35
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Out in the bush, Queensland, Australia, far from the madding crowd
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,370
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeef
I ran into two problems when I typed this out. The first was the realization that 500 words is a lot less than it seems. When I typed it out at first it came out to about 900 words which was surprising.
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You had it easy. I had to pare mine down from about 1400.
__________________
Why should you vote for me, in valeca’s Writing Challenge contest? Because I’m an all-round nice guy? Because I'm a brilliant writer? Ok, you think of a reason. Just so you vote for me, ok? CLICK BELOW for the voting booth http://www.writingforums.com/writing...n-contest.html
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07-28-2008, 08:12 AM
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#36
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: big sky country
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,375
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hahaha. A common problem, it seems.
My first draft was 750. Cutting the last 30 words was definitely the most difficult.
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Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum
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07-28-2008, 08:23 AM
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#37
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Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Western PA. Again.
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,555
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I hate when you're at that point where you've cut it down from the original 800 or so words and you're at, like, 512. You start thinking things like, "Does that sentence REALLY need a verb?" 
__________________
"If you're a freelance writer and aren't used to being ignored, neglected, and generally given short shrift, you must not have been in the business very long." - Poppy Z. Brite
The Oddville Press
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07-28-2008, 11:28 AM
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#38
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Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Fayette-Nam, NC
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,733
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiamat10
I hate when you're at that point where you've cut it down from the original 800 or so words and you're at, like, 512. You start thinking things like, "Does that sentence REALLY need a verb?" |
I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything, Tiamat!
Wanna hear something crazy? My first draft of that story was more than 4K 
Last edited by seigfried007 : 07-28-2008 at 11:44 AM.
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07-28-2008, 12:00 PM
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#39
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Best Seller
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Canadian living in Taipei
Gender: Male
Posts: 600
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Thanks judges for your reads. I definitely need to work on my grammar, that has always been an issue for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawke
Kast13: A Hero’s Death – 16.5
”This is trench warfare,…
Wasn’t he just in bed? In like a room with a door? I’m confused. Maybe I don’t understand life in the trenches. How did you research this?
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Chris, you wrote that in my critique. In trenches soldiers dig shelters known as 'dugouts'. Dugouts have many shapes and sizes, some with only enough room for two ('funk hole'), when others could be up to a couple stories deep (they were known as 'deeps' for obvious reasons). The one in my story would have been a mid-sized one, generally known as a 'shelter'. |
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07-28-2008, 12:14 PM
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#40
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Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Western PA. Again.
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,555
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seigfried007
Wanna hear something crazy? My first draft of that story was more than 4K |
I remember your first draft, seig. I'll be honest with you, I thought it was better as fleshed out as it was before. And not just because I'm daunted by the idea of reducing a 4K piece to 500 words.
(Though I do have to say kudos to your for managing to do that and still delivering an excellent piece.)
__________________
"If you're a freelance writer and aren't used to being ignored, neglected, and generally given short shrift, you must not have been in the business very long." - Poppy Z. Brite
The Oddville Press
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07-28-2008, 12:28 PM
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#41
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Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Fayette-Nam, NC
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,733
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A Difference of Six Degrees wasn't actually the first draft of this piece, Tiamat. The original was Nightshade's Window and the whole thing was from Button's POV. My writing instructor disliked it and told me to write it from Marie's viewpoint, so that's how Six Degrees came to be.
Btw, I have a confession to make--I just looked up the word count on Nightshade's Window and the final total was 3,947.
That tidbit I posted as The Death of Bunny was originally more than 900 words.
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07-28-2008, 11:21 PM
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#42
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: America.
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,055
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When does a new competition start?
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07-29-2008, 12:37 AM
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#43
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Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Western PA. Again.
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,555
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Not tomorrow.
__________________
"If you're a freelance writer and aren't used to being ignored, neglected, and generally given short shrift, you must not have been in the business very long." - Poppy Z. Brite
The Oddville Press
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07-29-2008, 01:40 AM
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#44
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: America.
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,055
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Fuck it, then. Hawke, Mike C, whoever, can you ban my account? I was going to wait until I could at least be judge, but the impatience is maddening.
So, yeah. Ban? Please? Thanks in advance. (IP Ban preferable, if possible).
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07-29-2008, 06:18 PM
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#45
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Mentor
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: cape cod, USA
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,814
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No,
as punishment you'll remain a member.
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