07/05/08 - Spontaneous Combustion Scores - Page 2 - Writers Forum

Remedy · 07-27-2008, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by edropus

Poc was trained by the military (like Charlie) to spontaneously combust if he was ever captured by the enemy. He's a ruined wreck because he wasn't able to, and failed himself, Charlie and his country. The narrator here feeds Poc cleaning products and then works Poc up so that he'll try again, because it's entertaining to him. Sorry that was unclear to you; 500 words was much harder then I thought it would be, and I didn't want to just come out and say it. =]

Ah. Thank you for explaining; obviously I missed that. I got that it was entertaining to the narrator, but that's all I could really figure out about why to feed him bleach.

Possibly stupid question... Is that possible?

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Backward OX

Hey Remedy
Why did you need the disclaimer?

Re “In summary” – I had pondered over this, wondering how best - given the word-count limitation - to tell the readers the story was being wound up.

'Cause I stick on a disclaimer everytime I respond to anyone's work. At the previous site I visited, people would get bitchy about reviews sometimes and cry subjective. It's a habit now.

I appreciate the response on the in summary. I figured you knew about that, but one can never be entirely sure.

Congratulations to the winners.

Sam Winchester · 07-27-2008, 06:48 PM

I got a question for Remedy. Before I go any further, please do not construe this as whining. I simply want to know something.

You said my characters were one-note. What I'd like to know is: what do you expect me to do with my characters in five-hundred words? I can't flesh them out with so little words to work with, as well as trying to tell the story. Can you explain why you felt this way towards them? They seemed like a normal family to me: Husband wanting to get home to watch the football, wife too busy shopping to care, and the kid dragged along unwantedly.

Also, the scoring seemed a little harsh, in my opinion. 15? Considering that Chris, Hawke, Mike, and AA gave scores of 16.5, 18,18, and 19, you'll forgive me if I'm a little upset at that score.

Again, I'm not whining. I just feel that when someone judges a piece of work that isn't their preferred genre, they should look to see if the writing is good, and not be biased to the genre.

Just my opinion.

seigfried007 · 07-27-2008, 07:14 PM

Sam, that's whining--look at all of the other people who received far bigger differences in scores. 15's low, but it's not 4 pts lower than the other lowest review. Like I said--some widely disparate judging here

You have a habit of one-note characters--be it bigger works or flash. Finding a way of characterizing someone as a breathing entity in 500 words is certainly difficult but not impossible--and it's also a great exercise to try.

Not whining here, but I think your work could improve by Hulk-jumps if you work on that a bit more.

SparkyLT · 07-27-2008, 07:26 PM

Uh, I'm just going to poke in here and say congrats everyone, and that I actually did better than I thought I would.

alanmt · 07-27-2008, 08:19 PM

Thank you judges! Congrats to the winners!

This also was a fun contest and the entries had so many different takes on the prompt.

edropus · 07-27-2008, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Remedy

Ah. Thank you for explaining; obviously I missed that. I got that it was entertaining to the narrator, but that's all I could really figure out about why to feed him bleach.

Possibly stupid question... Is that possible?

I'm sure it is. But it'd probably kill you in a matter of weeks, if that.

eggo · 07-27-2008, 09:55 PM

Wow,

Thanks a lot guys. There are some excellent stories here (haven't read them all, but will soon).

Thanks very much to the judges and esp to Hawke for running this thing.

This was some great fun.

JHB · 07-27-2008, 10:01 PM

This was fun. Thanks for the challenge.

edropus · 07-27-2008, 10:08 PM

Again, awesome story, Eggo. One of the earlier comments (can't remember where) said the story reminded them of Stephen King. I don't really like King, but one thing I admire about him is the way he makes the unusual seem natural; or at least, makes it totally believable that the things in his stories could happen. Same thing when I read your entry.

Yeef · 07-27-2008, 10:10 PM

Quote:

I couldn’t find the combustion. I also couldn’t find any care for the characters. It seemed completely unrealistic and idealistic. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get into it.

That's definitely understandable.

This is my first time participating in one of these although I had planned to start when I first joined (apparently it's been nearly a year). The scores were pretty much what I expected all things considered.

I ran into two problems when I typed this out. The first was the realization that 500 words is a lot less than it seems. When I typed it out at first it came out to about 900 words which was surprising.

My second problem, and I think the biggest, was that I felt that the story had to lead to something. In hindsight I think just letting a single scene stand on its own would've been better than trying to shoehorn in some kind of conclusion.

My initial idea was to have a teacher that's naturally timid and more reserved absolutely flip out on his students. After having spent time away from it and re-reading it I realize that that doesn't come across at all in the final product. The ending also feels very much tacked on, mainly because it was.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who took the time to read and respond to my post and I always welcome constructive criticism.

SparkyLT · 07-27-2008, 10:14 PM

hey eggo, I only just read yours, and it's awesome! nice job. no suprise you did so well.

Mike · 07-27-2008, 10:27 PM

I think Eggo's story reminded me of the movie, "Equilibrium," if you've ever seen it.

SparkyLT · 07-27-2008, 10:32 PM

I might have, the name sound familiar, is it based on a book?

Remedy · 07-27-2008, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Winchester

Can you explain why you felt this way towards them? They seemed like a normal family to me: Husband wanting to get home to watch the football, wife too busy shopping to care, and the kid dragged along unwantedly.

You've answered your own question there. I didn't see anything unique from any of them; they were just a stereotypical family. From one paragraph in, I could predict everything they would do, and while I would have loved to be wrong, I wasn't. 500 words isn't a lot by any means, but it's still enough.

I got a similar comment on the first LM I entered - the MC was way too stereotypical and one-note. And I fumed about it for a little bit, because I actually liked that story, then stepped away and realized that, yeah, he was.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Winchester

Also, the scoring seemed a little harsh, in my opinion. 15? Considering that Chris, Hawke, Mike, and AA gave scores of 16.5, 18,18, and 19, you'll forgive me if I'm a little upset at that score.

It was justified in my opinion, and ultimately it's all about opinions; unfortunately, that's how writing almost always is. I didn't seem anything out of the ordinary about it.

As others have pointed out, there was a wide range in scoring, and it seemed like a lot of times I was pretty far apart from what the rest thought. Really, JHB and Yeef had much farther apart scores, with me ranking them lowest. I gave poor Yeef a 10, while someone else ranked it 18.

Ultimately, I stick by the scores I gave, although I sometimes feel a little sheepish with a few of the more drastic ones.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Winchester

Again, I'm not whining. I just feel that when someone judges a piece of work that isn't their preferred genre, they should look to see if the writing is good, and not be biased to the genre.

Just my opinion.

I understand. Actually, I prefer closer to your genre than some of the others. That didn't figure into the score though; I did judge based on the writing. When I commented on liking some of the other genres, I didn't mean it across the board (trust me, I don't read fairytale like stories), but rather because they made it work really well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yeef

I ran into two problems when I typed this out. The first was the realization that 500 words is a lot less than it seems. When I typed it out at first it came out to about 900 words which was surprising.

I hear that. I'm not good with 500 words, really, and I'm constantly cutting out more and more.

Thanks for the explanation, Yeef. I appreciate it.

The Backward OX · 07-28-2008, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Winchester

please do not construe this as whining.

the scoring seemed a little harsh, in my opinion. 15? Considering that Chris, Hawke, Mike, and AA gave scores of 16.5, 18,18, and 19, you'll forgive me if I'm a little upset at that score.

Again, I'm not whining.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Sam, I received a 15 too, and I'm not complaining.

Sheesh, if the results of a piddling thing like this are enough to get you going, you need to re-examine your priorities.