display your banner here

Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: 01/16/09 - "The Author" Scores

  1. #1
    FoWF Hawke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    In front of the keyboard
    Posts
    3,645
    Blog Entries
    6

    01/16/09 - "The Author" Scores



    I'd like to extend a huge thank you to Katastrof, Raging Hopeful and Tiamat10 for judging this round. Also, a huge thank you to Foxee and eggo for their help with the prompt and to everyone who submitted. Definitely quality over quantity, I’d say. Well done!

    And now, your LM scores.








    C. Gholy - 12, 13.5, 14, 14 = 53.5 - Average - 13.375
    Katastrof - N/A
    Raging Hopeful - N/A
    Tiamat10 - N/A
    Velo - 16, 17, 18, 17 = 68 - Average - 17
    Joseph - 18, 18, 19, 19 = 74 - Average - 18.5
    eggo - 17, 18.5, 17, 18 = 70.5 - 17.625



    Because of the amount of eligible entries, only one placing will be announced.

    First place: JosephB !


    Congratulations!


    Note: Please let me know asap if there are any errors or omissions. Thank you.
    ~Hawke
    Last edited by Hawke; 02-08-2009 at 01:51 AM.
    How To Get Critiques On Your Work: WF is very much a give and take community, meaning the best way to get constructive critiques and comments on your work is to give them to others.
    "Shut up and write something." —eggo
    Hawke's View

  2. #2
    FoWF Hawke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    In front of the keyboard
    Posts
    3,645
    Blog Entries
    6
    Tiamat10's Scores


    Peggy and Her Puppy Named Wuppy

    C.Gholy

    This doesn't rhyme very much. While I haven't been a Dr. Seuss expert since I was about 8, I'm pretty sure that's one of his most defining features as an author. I was also a bit thrown by the line, 'She too young for that'. I think it's probably a typo, but still. I believe it should read 'She's.

    14/20

    ---

    No Green Eggs or Ham

    Katastrof

    This is kind of like 'Dr. Seuss, the Untold Tales'. It's dark and sad and I couldn't help but like it. Too bad I can't give you a score, mate.

    N/A

    ---

    Untitled

    Raging Hopeful

    Cute and funny. The end got a chuckle out of me.

    N/A

    ---

    Funny Bunny

    Tiamat10

    First of all, you're a rude little brat who insulted everyone in your petty little 'Author's Note'. Secondly, don't you KNOW that celery is bad for bunnies?! I oughta get the ASPCA after your ass. And don't even get me started on your lame Dr. Seuss attempt. Loser.

    N/A

    ---

    Untitled

    Velo

    I really liked this. Sure it was a little bit repetitive, but I got caught up in the rhyme and rhythm of it, and I liked the questions that it asked as well. Very clever interpretation of the theme, but I also thought it started to lose it's momentum towards the end.

    18/20

    ---

    The Flumax

    JosephB

    Dr. Seuss for adults, I love it! This was funny and clever and best of all, it actually tells a story. The clear winner in my opinion, but I'm gonna take one point off for a typo. 'Before you eat us, have drink!' I think that's supposed to say 'have A drink'.

    19/20

    ---

    Killing Time

    eggo

    I thought this was a unique interpretation of Dr. Seuss's style. It doesn't have the rhythm, but it does tell a story and it does mostly rhyme. And it's got wit, too. I enjoyed it quite a bit, but I did find a typo. 'Well, Mr. Martin, I fresh out of ideas.' I think it's supposed to say 'I'm'.

    17/20
    How To Get Critiques On Your Work: WF is very much a give and take community, meaning the best way to get constructive critiques and comments on your work is to give them to others.
    "Shut up and write something." —eggo
    Hawke's View

  3. #3
    FoWF Hawke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    In front of the keyboard
    Posts
    3,645
    Blog Entries
    6
    Raging Hopeful's Scores


    C. Gholy
    It was difficult to follow the rhyming schematic and it didn’t stay consistent which was distracting from what was actually happening in the poem. There were also some basic nits like:
    She too young for that”
    Grammar: 4/5
    Tone & Voice: 2/5
    Effect: 6/10
    Total: 12/20

    Katastrof
    Interesting choice of poetic prose. I quite liked it. I’m assuming Great Depression? Or maybe even the food banks today? Cheers!
    JUDGE PARTICIPATION

    Tiamat
    This was quite excellent! A modern take on “Green Eggs and Ham” perhaps! I love that you made up your own word “yamglumbers.” Dr. Seuss would be proud
    JUDGE PARTICIPATION

    Qwertyman
    Submission what?

    Seigfried
    Now who is this Dominatrix hmmm??

    Velo
    This actually had a very floaty but cohesive rhyming structure to it but I found myself getting confused halfway through as to whether we were on “me” or “we.” I quite enjoyed it myself.
    Grammar: 5/5
    Tone & Voice: 4/5
    Effect: 7/10
    Total: 16/20

    Joseph
    This was excellent but very depressing by the end! Which of course means it’s well done and “a little dose of truth.” Small nit I found: have drink!”
    Grammar: 4/5
    Tone & Voice: 5/5
    Effect: 9/10
    Total: 18/20

    Eggo
    This made me laugh quite a bit especially at the end as the truth is revealed. Makes me happy to think he’ll never actually go through with it. Even better if Mr. Barton turned out to be just a stuffed animal that Mr. Martin plots with every week. Interesting rhyming schematic. Some nits:
    I fresh out of ideas.”
    “That true,
    Grammar: 3/5
    Tone & Voice: 5/5
    Effect: 9/10
    Total: 17/20
    How To Get Critiques On Your Work: WF is very much a give and take community, meaning the best way to get constructive critiques and comments on your work is to give them to others.
    "Shut up and write something." —eggo
    Hawke's View

  4. #4
    FoWF Hawke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    In front of the keyboard
    Posts
    3,645
    Blog Entries
    6
    Katastrof's Scores


    This has been one hell of a prompt. First, not a lot of people posted, and then my computer busted while I was judging. Oh well. It was fun looking at how even a narrow topic, like Dr. Suess, can bring out so many diverse pieces. Here they are:


    Peggy and her puppy named Wuppy ~ C.Gholy :13.5
    This was a hard prompt. I can understand the lack of rhyming, but I was a little put off that it didn't follow a consistent pattern because it was good when you got it right. Puppy Wuppy did seem very Suess-esk to me, so that was good. Watch out:


    If I compared my dog to a top model,
    that model shall surely struggle.


    Should be: that model would surely struggle


    No Green Eggs or Ham ~ Katastrof: -!


    I will not write poetry because I'm no poet,
    I will not write poetry because I fully know it.
    I will not write it in a jest,
    I will not write it puffing my chest.
    Because both results,
    Are still awkward.


    Ferret One ~ Raging_Hopeful : -!


    Nice rhyming, and I liked that you took a shot at the cat in the hat. Ha! Flowed real well for a poem (I think).


    Funny Bunny ~ Tiamat10 : -!


    Wow all three judges in a row! Liked this one a lot. Too bad you're a judge. Some excellent lines:

    But wait, what is that over there?

    It might be tasty, I do declare.
    I think I smell a wholesome vapor
    Coming from that there newspaper.

    Loved this stanza.


    Dr. Who? ~ qwertyman: 10


    Giving you 10 because I like Dr. Who.


    The End of Me/We ~ velo : 17


    Really liked how you played with existence through very few words and syllables. Pretty cool. The only thing I felt that was trite were the first and last paragraphs. Everything else had a good Dr. S feel to it, while still being kinda thought provoking. Nice job.




    The Flumax ~ Joseph B: 18


    Haha! I was expecting something like this, and I wasn't disappointed! It's always nice to see someone turn a genre on its head. I don't think the ending was as strong as the rest, though(but you did have the rhyming down).


    Before you eat us, have a drink!”


    Missed an a here.


    Killing Time ~ eggo : 18.5


    I liked this one a lot. Where everyone else went style, you took the elements and made something entirely twisted yet new, while still being Dr. Suess-esk. That's sick man (both connotations). I was going to give you higher, but there were a lot of typos (more than I could ignore), for your score.
    How To Get Critiques On Your Work: WF is very much a give and take community, meaning the best way to get constructive critiques and comments on your work is to give them to others.
    "Shut up and write something." —eggo
    Hawke's View

  5. #5
    FoWF Hawke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    In front of the keyboard
    Posts
    3,645
    Blog Entries
    6
    Hawke's Scores


    C. Gholy - Peggy and her puppy named Wuppy - 14
    Paris, is that you? Just kidding. Paris and her dog popped into my mind when I read this, is all. Cute and fun. Good job. Thank you.

    Katsroff - No Green Eggs Or Ham - N/A - Judge
    The images this conjured up… and the sad realism... But for the grace of God, and all that. Not knowing or wanting to know what’s going on in someone else’s life, we pass judgment, order our designer coffees every day, and take a sort of giddy, reckless pleasure in paying the exorbitant price, in a way trying to forget for the moment that the majority of us are between one and three paychecks away from being in her position. Good job. Thank you.

    Raging Hopeful - Untitled - N/A - Judge
    HA! Pretty darn cute, RH. I’m still grinning. Glad you had fun with it. I enjoyed it. Thank you.

    Tiamat10 - Funny Bunny - N/A - Judge
    You’re a strange woman, do you know that? Too cute. Glad the bunny didn’t discover eating novels instead… although I could probably recommend several dozen. As long as the bunny doesn’t eat the comics - those are my fav.

    Velo - Untitled - 17
    Dr. Seuss, for all his humor and such, had messages (or agendas if you will) in his works. For instance, Yertle in Yertle the Turtle was Hitler. The Cat in the Hat was really about… well, I won’t say. To know destroys childhood innocence. I loved the books at the time and prefer to keep my warm memories of them in tact. This work sort of reminded me of that though - a deep message beneath humor. Good job. Thank you.

    JosephB - The Flumax - 19
    Dr. Seuss - the adult/modern/dark side version. Laughed my ass off.

    Eggo - Killing Time - 18
    Neat story and a lot of fun, this. Dr. Seuss turns homicidal maniac, eh? I always knew kids could drive one crazy, and there’s a lesson there for the spouses of children’s lit writers. Good job. Thank you.
    Last edited by Hawke; 02-08-2009 at 02:52 AM.
    How To Get Critiques On Your Work: WF is very much a give and take community, meaning the best way to get constructive critiques and comments on your work is to give them to others.
    "Shut up and write something." —eggo
    Hawke's View

  6. #6
    Global Moderator
    Tiamat10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Western PA.
    Posts
    1,641
    Congrats to Joe for winning! This was definitely the most fun I've ever had judging an LM and that's entirely due to the awesome entries. Thanks, everyone!
    Remember why you like to read, and inundate your writing with your love of story. No great writer ever found reading a chore.

  7. #7
    Ink Slinger JosephB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    4,292
    Big thanks to all the judges, and participants too. I enjoyed all the entries. That was lots o' fun, folks.
    "Some people call me the space cowboy, some call me the gangster of love."
    -- Albert Einstein

    "I am really only interested in a fiction of miracles."

    --
    Flannery O'Connor


  8. #8
    Prolific Writer Raging_Hopeful's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Olympia, WA
    Posts
    315
    Blog Entries
    1
    Whoo hoo! Oh good fun all around and congrats Joseph and to everyone who participated!
    ** CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS **
    The Abstract Quill is accepting submissions of artwork, short stories, poetry, and non-fiction work for their premiere June 1st issue.

    Seigfried007: You horrible, horrible, wicked, sadistic woman, why torture your fans like this?

  9. #9
    WF Veteran eggo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    cape cod, USA
    Posts
    700
    Thanks guys,
    I was trying to adapt a Ballad Meter for use in dialog,
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballad_meter
    I played with the idea of breaking it up so people could find the rhythm and decided to let readers find it on their own,



    With the line breaks properly inserted,
    “There are things I do and things that I can’t ,
    some things I should and some things I shan’t.
    A poison I think, a dusty old drink.
    Made from arsenic and cyanide
    made perfect for homicide,
    It’s actually a pretty shade of pink.”


    Pretty bad mistake. Should have broke it up. Proving once again I suck at poetry.
    Sorry about the typos guys. I ran out of time and posted an half an hour before closing time.
    Congrats Joe.

  10. #10
    Scrivener C.Gholy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    England
    Posts
    151
    This was fun, I agree with Tia about this. it was great.
    I wanna do it again.
    Congrats to everyone.
    "I am temperamental and I have imperfections and I am emotional I am unpredictable I am naked I am vulnerable I am a woman I am opening up to you"- Christina Aguilera

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •