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Thread: 09/20/08 - Your life without "life" Scores

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    09/20/08 - Your life without "life" Scores



    I'd like to extend a huge thank you to Loulou, gohn67, Sam Winchester and geisha for judging this round. Also, thank you to Loulou for providing an excellent prompt, and to everyone who submitted. Well done, all.

    And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for—your LM scores.





    Shawn - 15, 16, 15, 10, 16 = 72 - Average = 14.4
    SevenWritez - 15, 19, 16, 17, 18 = 85 - Average = 17
    Wildcard - 15, 17, 14, 17, 18 = 81 - Average = 16.2
    alanmt - 19, 18, 16, 18, 18 = 89 - Average = 17.8
    froman - 16, 16, 15, 19, 16 = 82 - Average = 16.4
    ohdear - 15, 18, 15, 17.5, 17 = 82.5 - Average = 16.5
    Vendredi is Friday - 17, 19, 16, 18, 17 = 87 - Average = 17.4
    Ana Kata - 15, 16, 16, 16, 15 = 78 - Average = 15.6
    Raging Hopeful - 18, 18, 17, 19, 18 = 90 - Average = 18
    C. Gholy - 15, 15, 15, 17.5, 15 = 77.5 - Average = 15.5
    Itsaboysname - 16, 17, 14, 17.5, 18 = 82.5 - Average = 16.5
    Tiamat10 - 16, 18, 19, 20, 19 = 92 - Average = 18.4
    No Brakes - 16, 17, 18, 16.5, 17 = 84.5 - Average = 16.9
    seigfried007 - 16, 20, 17, 16, 19 = 88 - Average = 17.6
    IrishLad - 17, 17, 17, 18, 18 = 87 - Average = 17.4
    eggo - 17, 19, 17, 19.5, 19 = 91.5 - Average = 18.3


    First place: Tiamat10 !

    Second place: eggo !

    Third place: Raging Hopeful !

    Congratulations!


    Note: Please let me know asap if there are any errors or omissions. Thank you.
    ~Hawke
    Last edited by Hawke; 10-13-2008 at 02:59 AM.
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    gohn67's Scores


    Shawn – Night and Day

    Reads almost like a prose poem. Interesting concept. Pretty bleak take on life. Imagery is kind of vague.

    15/20

    SevenWritez – The Fruit of

    Interesting contrast in the dialogue, which is more crude, while the narration has a different feel to it, more poetic, a different flow the way you used the commas. Not sure if I understand the story though. Kept thinking of it as relating to the Garden of Eden story, but couldn't make the connection.

    15/20

    Wildcard – I love her

    I like the build up. You show the narrator's relationship with the mother well enough, so that when I read that she was dying, that I kind of cared. The prose is very staccato. Very short sentences. Monotonous almost. Read very fast for me. A lot of repetition. I'm interested in your decision to write it this way. The suicide at the end didn't work for me though. Those endings almost never do.

    15/20

    alanmt – no title

    I liked this a lot. Well crafted. Really liked the idea. You painted a lawyer I could be sympathetic toward.

    19/20

    froman - Crug P. Abomination

    It's well written. But I can't say whether I liked it or not. I'm kind of neutral to this. I think you if there was more of a word limit you'd be able to develop the idea further, because I think the idea has potential. But then again I'm partial to outcasts, and stories about them.

    16/20

    ohdear – Let's Eat

    That salad sounds good. Good details there. I like the idea of food in relation to life. It's a nice meditation on life. The only downfall is when the language gets kind of vague, and then it takes me out.

    15/20

    Vendredi-is-Friday –Slow Search

    I liked it. Well written. The repetition worked well. Didn't think you need the last sentence which felt too explanatory.

    17/20

    Ana Kata

    I can see what you were going for, and I think maybe if the piece was longer it would have worked. There was some good concrete imagery here, like grape in the sun and gatherings while the turkey was in the oven. But at paragraph four, it gets too vague and telling.

    15/20

    Raging Hopeful – Freezing

    Good work. Everything worked for me until the end. Not a particular fan of pointless killing. It's too easy a solution. Liked the humor too, funny situation. Having sex in a freezer of Frosty Freeze (I think?).

    18/20

    C. Gholy – Time and Love

    Nothing with the writing. The narrator clearly expresses her love for this guy. But it's too telling. I guess as a reader, I was looking for more a story. This is more a of well-written diary entry.

    15/20

    Itsaboysname – Empty Chairs

    I like it. I like how there is a lot unsaid. That was what made this story work for me.

    16/20

    Tiamat10 – Celia's Secret

    Well-written. Good structure to the story. It's well plotted. But I feel this is one story that the word limit hindered the story.

    16/20

    Abandoned – No Brakes

    The ending was cool. That was great. I wish the build up were better. It was unexpected to me. Good voice. Sounded child like, though I'm not sure he sounded 2. How does a 2 year old sound though? I don't know.

    16/20

    Seigfried007 – Like Mother

    Creepy. Took me a few reads to figure out he was climbing inside her belly.

    16/20

    IrishLad –Einstein and Rock n' Roll

    First three paragraphs were great. Then it went another direction, which I didn't like as much. I wanted to hear more about the band days.

    17/20

    Eggo – Bowl-Shaped-Box

    I liked it. Like the humor, especially dry humor, the four Horseman of the apocalypse holding a news conference on CNN. That is always a plus. The ending is interesting. I read a few times but could not figure it out. But it leaves me an eerie, sad type feeling. Of the four horseman, I kind of agree with the last…

    17/20
    Last edited by Hawke; 10-13-2008 at 02:59 AM.
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    Loulou's Scores


    Gohn67 – Life?

    Too many obvious metaphors I felt, but you really got me with that twist. Never saw it coming. Blew me away. Felt it symbolised…. life? You lifted your MC out of the mundane with that relentless yammering voice.

    N/A



    Shawn – Night and Day

    I liked your poetic brevity, your take on the subject. This is the kind of poetry prose I felt that can be taken any way the reader wants. Life condensed into waking and sleeping, waking and sleeping. Kind of sad. Thought-provoking. Actually quite depressing. Was that you mood when you wrote it?

    16/20



    SevenWritez – Fruit Of -


    Liked this piece a lot, even though it mystified me some. That’s probably why I liked it. Because you gave me something to figure out, to chew on. I’m piecing together the apple (thinking Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit) and the Greek philosopher references and who the two characters are. I felt they were the same; the one who shatters is perhaps the older self of the MC. I’m wondering what this apple (which I first thought was the world) represents. The voice is modern, with the swearing and the red lipstick reference, but the story feels like a legend/fantasy.

    like some fucking Greek philosopher sculptured into an embodiment of the progressive mind.

    Great line.

    19/20



    Wildcard – I Love Her

    I loved the simplicity of your sentences at the start and at the close of your piece. Childlike. At first I didn’t like the voice later, when the MC is an adult and receives the phone call, because it is as though the initial poetry and style is gone. But I rethought that, and I suppose the MC has grown up and now speaks in an adult voice. Then reverts back to simplicity when he has lost his mother. Nice idea, the love of the mother – one of the most important elements of life.

    17/20



    Alanmt – Please call this something, it begs a title! Maybe… Dividing the Grapes…

    I really enjoyed reading this. You squeezed a lot into the few words. I’m so glad you referred again to the grapes. I loved that, the division of the grapes. I really identified with that. Ah, the injustices as a child never leave us, do they? They mould us, don’t they? Maybe I liked this because it was simply told, felt real, and touched me. Please Alan, give it a title. I love titles. It deserves a title. I’d have given you an extra mark for a title!

    18/20



    Froman – Crug P. Abomination

    Dark. What can I say, dark. Poor Crug. Liked your idea, and how the poor monstrosity came up with his name. I liked how his name was basically a description of his short and pathetic life. They say your name means something, and his literally did. Interesting take on the prompt.

    16/20



    Ohdear – Let’s eat

    Loved the simple appreciation of the food by the MC, one of the basic life (I used the forbidden word!) needs, so beautifully described. A moment with this meal, when the MC satisfies one hunger, while imagining - but not being able to have - others. The last line touched me. This was delicious (cliché pun intentional.)

    18/20



    Vendredi-is-Friday – Slow Search

    I liked this search for God, and therefore meaning. Loved the priest’s explanation for the flames, that it was a cigarette. Kind of a heavy subject/theme that was lightened by the wit. Interesting approach to the prompt, imaginative and lively. I liked it.

    and trying to dissect their souls, what little bits of their souls that are left in the words they wrote down.”

    Really loved this line. So appealed to the writer in me, both of my life and of fiction.

    19/20



    Ana Kata – Two Seventy-Five, short and sweet


    Wow, what a depressing life! I’m sure this is what you intended. The MC going between being born in a no-name hospital and dying in one. It’s almost too depressing, like there’s no redemption or challenge, but so be it.

    16/20



    Raging Hopeful - Freezing

    A great little tale of revenge, I was cheering Linda on, I have to say. Funny and dark. I could imagine this scene being the birth of a female serial killer like that Arlene woman, what was her name? A woman who then goes on the rampage after balding older men, with a nail file! Interesting take on the prompt, I enjoyed.

    18/20



    C.GHoly – Time and Love

    This was a heartfelt and simple little piece, but one I felt would be done real justice by some facts and a story, rather than just the melancholic musings from what sounds like a young girl. Tell me why the things were sunshine and joy, what the ‘typical’ things were that they did, and why they spilt up. And what was the moment of pure coincidence? The verb ‘feel’ is in abundance, but feelings alone can leave a reader cold without events. I’m left wanting to know a great deal.

    15/20



    Itsaboysname – Empty Chairs

    Interesting take on the prompt. Two characters discussing (I’m presuming) the death of a friend. I liked that this conversation could be the simple stuff that is life. Are they at the funeral? Some funny lines and observations that really lift this out of the mundane. Couldn’t quite decide if the MC was male or female – he/she had a bag, but then also seemed male. Liked your last line – pretty fitting, good round-up from where you started.

    17/20



    Tiamat10 – Celia’s secret

    Isn’t it funny how the theme of death has entered a lot of these ‘life’ stories? Such a major part of life, naturally. Celia tells her life to the dead. Loved it. And the dead cat felt like some really bleak foreshadowing for what her mother’s boyfriend is likely to do to her.

    Sometimes when she was alone, Celia would let her eyes go out of focus to try and see it too, but never managed to see anything more than colored flecks of light hanging in the air.

    Nice observation. Enjoyed this Tiamat.

    18/20



    No Brakes - Abandoned

    This felt natural, like a real memory, with the simplicity and the childlike language. Quite a haunting image, the pram with the blanket over. I maybe would have brought this to life (excuse the awful non-intended pun) a little more, given it more visual impact, like described the pram, the sound it made etc. Touching little piece.

    17/20



    Seigfried007 – Like Mother

    Was this really only 216 words? My God, it felt like so many more, in a good way. This was powerful, beautiful, I really loved it. What I took from it was the image of a baby between lives, that of it’s last mother, and that of it’s next, and so you seem to be saying (to me anyway) that babies choose their parents, write their lives. Even if this was completely not your intention, it doesn’t matter, such is the pleasure of reading (and writing.) Interesting that he raced for the house, but at the end, seemingly rejected by this mother (did she die?) he floats away.

    20/20



    Irishlad – Einstein, and Rock n Roll

    Laughed at you weighing up which stars you could have been the reincarnation of. I wonder about that too – I’ve fantasised that I was Marilyn Monroe since I was thirteen! But yes, knowing my luck, I was Hitler. Possibly one of the first entries that is very literal, both in the life and the writing aspect, although not the first to consider the reincarnation theme. I liked how you book-ended the story with the doors idea, them being shut, and perhaps locked. Though I sense you hope they remain always open-able.

    17/20



    Eggo –

    Loved how you re-wrote the Four Horsemen as you saw them, or perhaps just for ‘modern times,’ except for death, and actually war, which really we can never change. I feel like this is only how the MC sees the end, that any other million viewers of the news flash might see something entirely different. I’m almost wondering if the four men are actual people, as in you had (famous?) people in mind when you described them? I definitely felt that there were lots of messages in this that I missed, which is my flaw as a reader, but this was an intriguing read. Dark.

    I picked up the remote and pried off the power button.

    Felt like this was profound.

    19/20
    Last edited by Hawke; 10-13-2008 at 03:00 AM.
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    Sam Winchester's Scores


    Shawn - 15/20

    Very short but appealing. There's just something about it that I can't put my finger on.

    SevenWritez - 16/20

    Too much cursing for my liking. "For both our sake's". No apostrophe needed. Loved the layout of the paragraphs, though!

    Wildcard - 14/20

    The repetitiveness of "I love her, I did this, I did that," really took away from the story. I felt the piece was rushed.

    Alanmt - 16/20

    Pretty much your comfort zone, Alan, but I enjoyed it nevertheless.

    Froman - 15/20

    Technically excellent writing, but I never felt drawn in to the story.

    Ohdear - 15/20

    Writing is good, but, again, didn't get the story.

    Vendredi-is-Friday - 16/20

    Not much to point out about the writing here. Good story, too.

    Ana Kata - 16/20

    Aside from the fact that I thought I was reading something from Lin, I thought this was a good read.

    Raging Hopeful - 17/20

    Good stuff, Linz! Thoroughly enjoyable read.

    C.Gholy - 15/20

    Interesting take on the subject.

    Itsaboysname - 14/20

    Don't really know what to say about this one. Writing's good, but it's just missing something.

    Tiamat10 - 19/20

    Technically excellent writing. The end was just ... brilliant.

    No Brakes - 18/20

    Good writing, excellent ending.

    Seigfried007 - 17/20

    Very thought provoking read. I must say, I didn't initially enjoy reading it, but it grew on me after a while.

    IrishLad - 17/20

    Good, solid writing, backed up with a nice piece. Good work.


    Eggo - 17/20

    Interesting topic, good writing, and thought-inspiring ending.
    Last edited by Hawke; 10-13-2008 at 03:00 AM.
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    geisha's Scores


    gohn67 – An interesting read. Held my interest throughout the piece. Strong voice well conveyed through creative use of punctuation. An eloquent slap in the face of the establishment. It’s unfortunate that it does not fit the requirements of the prompt. For that, I say the score in n/a.

    Shawn – I found this to be an underdeveloped idea. Some interesting concepts that made me read twice. Wondered whose life this might be. But, with only 99 words, I feel there was a real lack of effort. 10/20

    SevenWritez – “The Fruit Of”- Interesting take on the prompt. Well written with few grammatical errors. Held my interest wondering what was in the box and its importance to the MC. Some nice phrasing at points. 17/20

    Wildcard – “I Love Her” - Wow. A lot of life pressed into a small space. Easy read. The simplicity of the sentences and repetition of “I love her” really detracted from the endearing quality of the story for me though. Nice development though. 17/20

    alanmt – no title – Well put together. Carried through from beginning to the end with the MC’s need for justice. Loved this line “He had no idea what a lawyer actually did. But people seemed impressed by the choice and he never got around to changing his mind again.” Felt almost fable-like and simple in its language. I’m not sure if that was working for it or hampering it though. Enjoyed it. 18/20

    froman –“Crug P. Abomination” – Interesting take on the Frankstein’s monster idea. I enjoyed how his name came about. Well written with fun bits of humor. Smooth read. Enjoyed. 19/20

    ohdear – “Let’s Eat” – Quite interesting to write about a life wrapped up in the moment before the first bite of food. The longing to be cliché struck me and I was looking for why the speaker feels that way, what led to that longing. I think it would be nice since you had the space to know a bit more about her debilitating complications, although it is working ok without that. The language works well too, and the writing is good. 17.5/20

    Vendredi-is-Friday – “Slow Search” I enjoyed this. Feels like a story that would be told orally. I like the three sections as well with the repetition. Works well. Nicely written. 18/20

    Ana Kata – “Two Seventy-Five, short and sweet” Interesting start to a story, a few grammatical errors. Some nice similes. Felt there could have been more development, especially in reference to “her”. 16/20

    Raging_Hopeful – “Freezing” Flowed well, smooth read. Great story packed into less than 500 words. Well written and developed. I am wondering why Linda didn’t pop the lid sooner if she knew how though. Fun read. 19/20

    C. Gholy – “Love in a Private Journal” – Moving read. Heartbreak is never easy. The story flowed alright, although I tripped over some grammatical errors. I like the vulnerability of the voice, but also I wondered about what request went unfulfilled. It seemed like it would be important to know. 17.5/20

    Itsaboysname – “Empty Chairs” - Nice read and nice use of dialogue. I was a bit confused about Tim and Billy though and how they relate to the story. It left me feeling that I needed a bit more here. 17.5/20

    Tiamat10 – “Celia’s Secret” – Excellent story. Well developed and constructed. Very few errors. Well written. Highly enjoyable. 20/20

    No Brakes – “Abandoned” – Quite a mystery set up here. So strange to have them take a baby. Thought they might be there to take the father at first. The voice is simple in keeping with a 2-year-old’s memories. Maybe just a bit more toward the end about his feelings would have made it even stronger. 16.5/20

    seigfried007 – “Like Mother” – A very bizarre little tale, but I often like bizarre. A couple errors. Some nice description. I feel you had room to develop this more. 16/20.

    IrishLad – “Einstein, and Rock n’ Roll” – A good narrative. Very authentic voice. Well written and it suited the prompt very well. Enjoyed. 18/20

    Eggo – “Bowl-shaped Box” – Very well written, tight construction, smooth read, interesting plot, good impact with the ending. Great story. 19.5/20
    Last edited by Hawke; 10-13-2008 at 03:00 AM.
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    Hawke's Scores


    Note: The scores and comments are just my opinion—one opinion—and should be taken as such.


    gohn - Life? - N/A (Judge)
    Nits: You used the word ‘life’ in the first sentence and in the second sentence, and three times in the third, and eight times in the forth…
    Excellent job. I’m going to have to dock you for being a tiny bit repetitious, but otherwise…

    Shawn - Night And Day - 16
    Your poetic prowess came through in this work. A very sad work as well. I know people like this, filling their days with TV and little else. I sincerely hope this is not a personal reflection, big guy. Thank you.

    SevenWritez - The Fruit Of - 18
    I take it this is an Adam and Eve story turned modern. Though I’m leaning heavily toward this not actually being a modernized Adam and Eve version, but rather a second version—the “sequel” version in modern times. Certainly the fruit is the apple, the weight of the box being the weight of sin; the weight of the world, in a sense. The red like lipstick a reference to woman (Eve). The stoic, highbrow character with the silver tongue being the devil. I imagine we, as a species, are pretty rude and crude and rash and young, the same as we were before save for our new “toys” and our view of ourselves as better than before. Except this time, man… didn’t. Unless I’m reading way too much into this, as I often do. Ah, but it certainly gave me a lot to think about. Thank you.

    Wildcard - I Love Her - 18
    Oh gosh. Loved the simple sentences of age. Might have brought it up to an adult voice earlier though, as the MC ages (I‘m thinking of the football game, on). Still, I really liked this. Quite powerful. Thank you.

    alanmt - Untitled - 18
    Loved that you used the division of grapes both at the beginning and the end to tie the work together. Wonder what the child would have been had his mother been able to divide the grapes equally (or ate the odd one out to make it equal). Strange how something seemingly inconsequential can influence the rest of our lives. A butterfly effect sort of thing, right up my alley. Thank you. Had to deduct a point for lack of a title—la grr, alan, you know better!

    froman - Crug P. Abomination - 16
    Nits: “Raising the mallet high above his head, the man in white rushed toward Crug and brought it down onto his head with devastating force.” Suggest leaving out “onto his head” as you’ve said ‘head’ twice in the same sentence, and that where the man brought it down is pretty much a given to this reader.
    Very sad. Kind of gruesome. Ancient Egyptians were huge into knowing your name for the afterworld (you couldn’t move on without it), so I’m glad he got one even if he had to name himself. Thank you.

    ohdear - Let’s Eat - 17
    Nice! The MC is a writer, no doubt, or should be with such an imagination. Quite an uplifting read. It’s all how you look at things, isn’t it? I’d liked to’ve seen something added… the beginnings of a work perhaps, or… Thank you.

    Vended is Friday - Slow Search - 17
    Nits: “Why are you here?” He asked = “… here?” he asked; “Lumberjack.” I said. “I was…” = Lumberjack,” I said, “I was…”; didn’t like the word choice “rejoined” and I’ll tell you why. The word halted the read, which is not what you want happen to your reader. Suggest sticking with “said” as much as possible, it being all but invisible to the reader.
    I liked this. Well thought out and almost songlike, in a way. Quick descriptives worked well here. Thank you.

    Ana Kata - Untitled - 15
    Nits: it's birthday (?); force = forcing; “… too much" he = “… too much," he; none else = no one else (?); some tense problems
    A sad end of a sad life, I think. Like real life, not everyone changes for the better, or wants to. Good job. Thank you.

    Raging Hopeful - Freezing - 18
    Now that was fun. And I learned something, too. (Not about nail files. I’m talking about the release spring. Not that I need to hide in freezers or anything.) Thank you.


    C. Gholy - Time and love (Love in a Private Journal) - 15
    Nits: you kind of have a love affair going with commas (I’m guilty of that, too) and a few missed commas; He might not have be = been;
    Wish you’d given some details about the requests and the one moment of pure coincidence. Either or both might be the real story. Thank you.

    Itsaboysname - Empty Chairs - 18
    It’s always the little things that seem to stand out and get you, isn’t it? Like ashtrays or a look, or some joke or phrase. I take it the character passed from lung cancer, and the two friends are talking about his death without really talking about it, like it’s too fresh for them to talk about it directly. Good take. Thank you.

    Tiamat10 - Celia’s Secret - 19
    As a kid, I use to watch the hall light and let my eyes go out of focus as a way to relax and fall asleep. Not sure if it’s real or imagined, but now, as an adult, I can just make out a tiny S shaped line where a kid nailed me with a rock. But I digress. Poor kid. Poor kitten. I want to strangle the mother’s boyfriend. So much in here with so few words. Thank you.

    No Brakes - Abandoned - 17
    Nits: Window sill = windowsill. I don’t think they’d push a baby carriage. A gurney, perhaps, or just carry the covered form.
    Tragic. I sincerely hope it wasn’t real. I’m not sure what to say beyond that, not really wanting to suggest ramping up the emotion in case it was real… although that would add more impact. Thank you.

    seigfried007 - Like Mother - 19
    There’s the idea out there that we choose our parents for whatever reasons. Sounds like this is the second go for this poor soul, the first time wanted at but not living to delivery (or at least not living long after), and this second time unwanted and the woman dies. I’m hesitant to ask if this soul is somehow doomed, so I won’t—I don’t want to know. I usually gripe about making full use of the word count, but this is one of those times where I think more might have ruined it. Thank you.

    IrishLad - Einstein, and Rock n’ Roll - 18
    Some say we reincarnate; some say we are not ‘we’ at all, but instead are a brain floating in space, a ‘just me‘ idea, where literally everything is being imagined out of sheer boredom. If the latter and I’m the brain, then I sure cheated myself, eh? If the former, then I’m sure I hadn’t been anyone famous, just a face in the throng… or Cleopatra, whichever. I’m one of those who love and use ‘the writer.’ Love your take of the writer as well. “We write to say we were here.” To live on. An alternative to reincarnation, I suppose… or is this a way to cover all the bases? (*grin*) Thank you.

    eggo - Bowl-Shaped Box - 19
    Nits: until those that = who; marbles in (a) cyclone
    A man ruined his remote control? It really must be the end of everything. Seriously though, this work felt beyond me. We have choices, sure. Several sides to almost everything. Without the benefit of clairvoyance, which to choose is the question. Considering that these are the four horseman, I’m not at all sure any should be listened too separately, each wanting the end to come as per themselves. I think that’s why I liked the MC’s choice best—at least it was his choice to listen to none of them.
    Last edited by Hawke; 10-13-2008 at 03:01 AM.
    How To Get Critiques On Your Work: WF is very much a give and take community, meaning the best way to get constructive critiques and comments on your work is to give them to others.
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    Congratulations to Steph, Pete, and Linz! Good on you, guys.

    A warm thank you also to everyone who took part. We've had some issues with the last LM, so hopefully this one has quelled any doubts that this is still a brilliant part of the forum.

    It seems the judges were almost all close together in their scoring this time, so thanks to the other judges as well.

    Good LM. Can't wait for the next one!
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  8. #8
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    Tiamat10's Avatar
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    Wow, I actually won an LM! Woohoo! I suppose it wouldn't be prudent to say I wasn't at all satisfied with that story when I posted it. Oh well.

    This was great fun and I really loved the theme, Loulou! Congrats to everyone, most especially Pete and Linz, and thanks much to the judges!
    Remember why you like to read, and inundate your writing with your love of story. No great writer ever found reading a chore.

  9. #9
    WF Veteran eggo's Avatar
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    Congrats Tiamat! a well deserved win. Linz as well

    A great prompt that took me a while to come up with something.

    Thanks judges for your time and insights

    Btw guys, my four horseman are styled after our presidential contenders

    Thanks everyone,

    Pete
    Last edited by eggo; 10-13-2008 at 01:35 AM.

  10. #10
    Scribe No Brakes's Avatar
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    Congrats to Tiamat10, eggo, and Raging Hopeful!

    This was my first LM challenge, but after seeing what happened with the last one, I was a bit hesitant. As Sam said:

    We've had some issues with the last LM
    Thank you so much to the judges for taking the time to do this for us. I appreciated the feedback.

    Hawke, this little thing was based on what I believe to be my earliest memory - I was only 2 though, but what I believe I saw was the baby carriage leaving with him in it - that was a short 49 years ago though, so accuracy could be an issue!
    Last edited by No Brakes; 10-13-2008 at 01:41 AM.

  11. #11
    FoWF Hawke's Avatar
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    Oh, I'm so very sorry, No Brakes.
    How To Get Critiques On Your Work: WF is very much a give and take community, meaning the best way to get constructive critiques and comments on your work is to give them to others.
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  12. #12
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    Shit. I forgot to message you Hawke: I'm "Neill." If that makes him/me excluded, then uh, yeah. Seeing as there wasn't any prize I thought what the hell and posted a different story under that name.

    That said, congratulations to the winners. This is by the far the strongest turn out I've ever seen for the writing prompts.

  13. #13
    Scribe No Brakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawke View Post
    Oh, I'm so very sorry, No Brakes.
    Oh goodness Hawke, no need for that at all, but thank you. I was just clarifying where that came from, so no worries!

  14. #14
    FoWF Hawke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SevenWritez View Post
    Shit. I forgot to message you Hawke: I'm "Neill." If that makes him/me excluded, then uh, yeah. Seeing as there wasn't any prize I thought what the hell and posted a different story under that name.
    That's a big no-no (NO-NO!) and against the rules, you.

    Bad, bad, bad. Never, ever, ever again, okay?

    See PM.
    How To Get Critiques On Your Work: WF is very much a give and take community, meaning the best way to get constructive critiques and comments on your work is to give them to others.
    "Shut up and write something." —eggo
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  15. #15
    Scribe froman's Avatar
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    I really enjoyed reading all of the stories, and congratulations to everyone! Looking forward to the next one

    (These are great for taking your mind off of the beginning-middle-first-draft blues.)

    p.s. I really like how the judges comment on each of the submissions when they submit their scores.

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