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What route to take?
The paper always seems massive when I start writing but after awhile I find it rather stained with my black ideas. Those are the very same ideas that lead me to write in the first place. Well, to make a long story short what I want to write about is self-liberation. I do not intend to talk about it through theoretical hypotheses but through manifestations from literature that is the reflection of real life.
The first manifestation was through “Edna” that amazing character from Kate Chopin’s novella “The Awakening” who realized her true self after a great struggle knowing that she cannot depend on anyone to fulfill her desires and give her the satisfaction she sought. Not even the man she loved could give her such a feeling. Not even her two sons whom she loved. Everybody around her interpreted her actions as misbehaviors and she was said to be a bad wife and mother but no one can ever say that she was a bad woman because she knew her rights and never after she realized herself gave up on them. She says talking about her children and I quote:” I would give up the unessential; I would give my money, I would give my life for my children; but I wouldn’t give myself…” listeners found it hard to comprehend the fact that she was willing to sacrifice her life but not her self!
Knowing what kind of life was waiting for her after she committed adultery and abandoned her children in a society that seems to be waiting for such an opportunity to crush, she still made her decisions without hesitation. Well, it is not that I am defending her actions, the immorality of her actions are really obvious. However, what I am defending is her attitude and the determination that she faced her final salvation with, when she chose to take her own life- which is again an extremely controversial decision- but how to keep the authentic self she gained through experience and how to fulfill that emotional, intellectual, and sexual awakening in any other way in a society that would oppress instead of encourage whatever talent she possessed?
Well, talking about “Edna” is extremely easy compared with talking about “Minnie Wright” that extremely courageous lady who murdered her husband with cold blood never hesitating for one split second. Well, again I seem to encourage whatever any sane person would reject. But the facts that were presented in “Trifles” written by Susan Glaspell say otherwise. The play claims that sometimes the right decision to make can be completely unacceptable by common sense and by the society we live in. However, we should not hesitate for one minute to do the one thing that would grant us the freedom of our minds. I can say one thing about “Minnie Wright”, she had to go to the extreme to achieve her self-assertion, nevertheless, she never thought twice. I can assure all her fans that she is happier in prison or wherever she is now than with her late husband and I seriously do not think that she ever regretted what she had done for one moment.
Is it that wrong to go insane in order to save your true self intact? In literature, going insane has mostly been a result of self-realization or even self-liberation. It was never a bad thing; on the contrary, people lose their sanity if they realized the ultimate truth about life.
We also see the insane characters uttering words of wisdom revealing truths that were unseen. Two examples are “Jane” from “The Yellow Wallpaper” written by Charlotte Perkins Gilman and the other one is “Gabriel” from “Fences” written by August Wilson.
Well, “Jan”e went mad at the end of the short story which talks about a woman’s struggle to achieve her mental liberty and not being able to do so because of the restraints put upon her by her husband who is her physician at the same time and by the society resembled by her sister in-law. But at last she broke free after she saw herself throughout the whole story trapped in the yellow wallpaper of her room by pulling the wallpaper off in a manner that can be described as insane. She said to her husband and I quote:” I’ve got out at last, in spite of you and Jane. And I’ve pulled off most of the paper, so you can’t put me back!” Talking about herself as the third person means that she even broke free from herself that gave limitations to her spirit.
“Gabriel” went mad after the World War II after a metal plate entered his head. That was even before the incidents of the play took place. He is going around the place holding an old trumpet around his waist thinking that he is called Archangel Gabriel who is personally acquainted with St. Peter. He keeps on singing:” Better get ready for the judgment” Is he really mad? Or is he seeing the truth through a different perspective that ordinary people who appear to be sane cannot see through? He sounds like he is looking at things from above where he thinks he goes to meet his friend St. Peter. What kind of credibility does he have? As annoying as that might sound he is more liberated than all the characters in “Fences”. Why? Because he saw the ultimate truth about the absurdity of the lives that everybody around him are leading and decided to himself:” I have the choice of looking at the bitter truth in a way that would keep me away from getting bitten by it.” Maybe that is why he was insane, because he knew better. Gabriel thinks that his friend St. Peter has the names of all those who are going to go through the gates of heaven in his book, he was addressing his sister-in-law and I quote: ”…One morning St. Peter was looking at his book… making it up for the judgment… and he let me see your name… Seen it with my own eyes” As innocent and childish as that might sound but it shows that Gabriel is totally capable of telling the truly good people around him regardless of the fact that he is insane. He knows which people deserve to go to heaven and who are the people that do not deserve the gates to be opened for them.
Actually, if the way to find your real authentic self is to go mad, then let it be. I am the first one to embrace that route; however; I’m sure that there is some other way. I cannot think of any other way at the time being. Everyone can fulfill their dream of acquiring their true self through pulling down all those walls that we build in order to feel better about our lives in a delusional attempt to make them look easier.
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