Today I Saw My Childhood Nightmare. - Writers Forum

SoNickSays... · 06-27-2008, 05:38 PM

Yes, today when I was walking down the street on my way to lunch from work, I saw a man I can still remember to this day.

When I was 10, when walking home from school on one of the dark-ish nights of Autumn/Winter I was raped. The man wore a cap, so I didn't see much of my face and threatened to hurt me more if I told, so I never did until it was too late.

I saw him today. I was so sure it was him. His body language, his face, his voice. It was all... more or less the same. He was a small little man on the side of a street, smoking and holding a half empty bottle of JD.

I walked up to him the moment I was sure he was the same man, and just looked straight into his eyes. I could see the recognition on his face. He knew it was me, and you could see his muscles (he was smaller than I remembered, but still had average-sized muscles).

I wanted so much to make him feel the pain I felt. I wanted him to be on the floor crying while I smashed my fist into his sorry little face. I would have killed him on the spot, just the way I had imagined it the countless time I had lost sleep because of that day.

But I didn't. I don't know why, but I didn't.

I looked at him from head to toes (very obviously) and shook my head in mock sympathy and disgust.

I then walked away, leaving him still in shock with his fag and bottle of whisky hanging limply at his side. I don't think he was sorry for what he did, but I do think he got the wrong end of the bargain. I got better. I changed, and turned my life around. He lost his life, and by the look (and smell) of him, his dignity too.

All day I've been recounting this moment in my head all day, imagining that I had done something different.

Did I do the right thing, or should I have beat the living shit out of him right there? I feel like I did the good thing, but I'm not sure.

I know that I was given a very rare opportunity. I had the opportunity to meet the reason I lost nights of sleep. I was given the opportunity that so many who had been in my position wished for.

I hope I did the right thing.

Nick

alanmt · 06-27-2008, 05:48 PM

Don't second guess yourself. You did the right thing. Your response shows that you have moved on, that you have overcome, that you are not now and never again will be a victim because of what he did to you.

Although if I were you, I might let the police know, so they can keep their eye on this particular pervert, and hopefully prevent him from doing it again, and maybe prosecute if it's not too late.

SoNickSays... · 06-27-2008, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alanmt

Don't second guess yourself. You did the right thing. Your response shows that you have moved on, that you have overcome, that you are not now and never again will be a victim because of what he did to you.

Although if I were you, I might let the police know, so they can keep their eye on this particular pervert, and hopefully prevent him from doing it again, and maybe prosecute if it's not too late.

Thanks, Alan.

You know, I never considered calling the police to keep an eye on him. I will in due course call the police and recount what he looks like and where I saw him, but I'm afraid I have no idea what his name is.

Nick

06-27-2008, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoNickSays...

I don't think he was sorry for what he did, but I do think he got the wrong end of the bargain. I got better. I changed, and turned my life around. He lost his life, and by the look (and smell) of him, his dignity too.

Your attitude is emotionally evolved. Impressive.

Malone · 06-27-2008, 08:27 PM

Arg! I guess you did the right thing...it wasn't what I would have done. You just have to get him alone. If he's really a degenerate he might not even be missed. It would also be pretty random and if you never identified him no one could link it to you. I mean, he could do that again. He probably has. Definitely follow Alan's advice and tell the cops. I just don't know how much I'd trust them to actually do something, let alone be able to prove something and put him in jail.

I'm really sorry. That made me livid just to read it. If you weren't across an ocean, I'd want to kill that fucker myself.

Charlie_Eleanor · 06-27-2008, 09:08 PM

You remind me of my friend.

When she was 10 years old, she was gang raped by a group of men on her way home from school. They strung her up, threw broken bear bottles at her, and pissed on her. They left her for dead in a construction trailer.

Due to the head trama caused from the beatings these guys gave her she has now developed life threatening brain cancer. The brain cancer has spread throughout her whole body.

I love her. She is the most decent human being I have ever met. If she met these men on the street she would walk away too. She is a better woman than I.

If any of these men ever meet me they will suffer as much as she did, except they won't have cancer kill them over time. They are going to die within the hour

Happy thoughts from Charlie!

Really, people like you are inspiring. I have no doubt that you are an amazing person if you can handle something like that. I look up to you.

If you would have done anything different you would be as petty as me.

Malone · 06-27-2008, 11:20 PM

That's one of the most fucked up things I've ever heard.

Tom · 06-28-2008, 08:38 AM

Nick, your obviously one of the pure people in this world. Managing to just shake your head at is something which most people wouldn't do.

Charlie, I hope your friend gets better. Such events make me cringe...

Tom.

Foxee · 06-28-2008, 09:33 AM

Nick, as difficult as it is you should report the guy (if you are certain it's the same one) to try to save others from what you went through. I don't know how you managed to react as you did...I guess nobody really knows until they're in the situation.

Hope you'll accept a cyber-hug. Cheesy, but it's what I have to offer.

Sam Winchester · 06-28-2008, 01:55 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your childhood trauma, Nick, but know that you did the right thing here. It takes extreme self-control to walk away from a situation such as the one you were faced with. I applaud you for that. Most people would have probably beaten the crap out of him. By not doing so, you've shown that it doesn't bother you anymore; that you've moved on; that he didn't destroy your life. By walking away, you've won in a much bigger way than you ever could have if you'd beat him up.

You are a good man, Nick, and I hope that scumbag gets all he deserves and then some.

Sam.

GooGooMuck · 06-28-2008, 04:40 PM

I really respect your maturity and your self control. I would have fucking lost it. It's great that you are sharing your experience with other people...I think that anyone who has gone through a similar experience could learn a lot from you.

Malone · 06-28-2008, 05:08 PM

Track him down and take a close-up picture of his face if you can, then use it to print fliers with his face and "CHILD RAPIST" under it and post them everywhere you fucking can.

SoNickSays... · 06-28-2008, 05:22 PM

Thanks everyone

.

I've alerted the police, and described the man and where he was. I'm sure they'll find him and keep an eye on him.

I've ended that chapter of my life now. This thread is the last thing - a goodbye. That part of my life is over, and I've walked away from that man.

Quote:

You remind me of my friend.

When she was 10 years old, she was gang raped by a group of men on her way home from school. They strung her up, threw broken bear bottles at her, and pissed on her. They left her for dead in a construction trailer.

Due to the head trama caused from the beatings these guys gave her she has now developed life threatening brain cancer. The brain cancer has spread throughout her whole body.

I love her. She is the most decent human being I have ever met. If she met these men on the street she would walk away too. She is a better woman than I.

If any of these men ever meet me they will suffer as much as she did, except they won't have cancer kill them over time. They are going to die within the hour Happy thoughts from Charlie!

I'm sorry about your friend, Charlie. What she went through I cannot understand, as I was never abused in any other way, nor was I left for dead. I don't know your friend, and probably never will, but god I hope she pulls through. It's always the good guys that get it. That is another reason I am athiest: no matter how good you are, you can never catch a break. Where the hell is god when these things happen?

I really do hope she pulls through, and I'm sure you'll be with her every step of the way to help her.

Quote:

If you weren't across an ocean, I'd want to kill that fucker myself.

Why don't you get a plane ticket and come over anyway?

Thanks, Malone. That really means a lot to me.

Quote:

Hope you'll accept a cyber-hug. Cheesy, but it's what I have to offer.

I'll accept any kind of hug, no matter how cheesy!

Quote:

By walking away, you've won in a much bigger way than you ever could have if you'd beat him up.

You are a good man, Nick, and I hope that scumbag gets all he deserves and then some.

I guess now we've both walked away from the past, doing the right thing.

Thanks, Sam.

Quote:

I think that anyone who has gone through a similar experience could learn a lot from you.

I hope so. I feel like, as I mentioned, I've been given a rare opportunity. So many people in my position can only dream of seeing their abuser. I feel like I was acting on behalf of everyone in my position. I still wonder if I did the right thing, despite what everyone has said.

Thanks guys. Lets hope that animal is off the streets soon.

Nick