AA

My week/weekend has been pretty unproductive. Actually, nothing at all was accomplished. I hate that feeling. It makes me irritable and I’m a less than pleasant person at work. I’m fine with my co-workers. They love me mostly. But customers on the phone probably are not too satisfied with our customer service when they get me. But I fix their problems faster than anybody else would. They should be glad for that.

I haven’t been writing much. I know I should. Whenever I do write, it has been unimportant distractions that get half my attention for a few minutes. I think I’m afraid to get through the project I’m working on. Christ forbid I get through a significant portion of the writing.

And then there’s the whole eating fast food every day thing. Every time I get my body where I want it to be, it’s like a flip a switch that says “willpower off” and then race to see how much weight I can gain in a month before I realize I need to start dieting and going to the gym again. It sounds unimportant I’m sure. It is actually. I don’t really care.

One time I told someone I was on the way to the gym. She laughed at me and said “really? Whenever I think of people going the gym, I think of total meatheads.” I’d never heard the word meathead before, so I’ve remembered it. It’s weird, feeling stupid for taking care of your body. Then I feel lazy when I don’t.

This is a silly rant. I’m not sure why I’m writing it. I guess I feel particularly histrionic right now.

“Look at me. I’m not as happy as I'd like to be.”

It’s such a silly urge. I wonder how permanent it is. Does the need to be noticed tend to subside with age? Somebody who could be my parent, do tell.

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There's not much else to say about that.

Mike

No, the need to be noticed is a reaction to loneliness.

You're addicted to fast food. You probably know that you are, just as you know you can justify it to fit your needs, which is why you still eat it. Going to the gym might be your way of balancing the equation, but if you really wanted to lose weight, you would change your eating habits. I was addicted once, let me tell you. I was depressed, in a state of loneliness and self-destruction, and I started eating fast food. Every day. It was there for me, convenient, always tasting the same (because it's engineered to), never letting me down. To counter it, I would run miles and miles, too fast and too hard, and I ended up destroying my body that way. I'm not saying that your life will lead to this; this is just an example of what happened to me. I changed my habits, though I dont remember when. I started cooking for myself and running for the pleasure of it because I could wind down new paths at a whim - that's the sense of freedom I gained. I suppose the moral of my story is that you're poisoning yourself by eating fast food.

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- Mike

Malone

I've never heard anyone put someone else down for working out. That's pretty weird. It's healthy and makes you feel good and it boost your concentration and lets you sleep better.

mybigboots

It does. The need to be noticed is the need for validation from others. You have to validate yourself. Be who you wish you were.

JoannaMac

This is great advice! Very nicely put Bigboots

My two cents worth is this:

Everyone suffers from guilt associated with laziness and lack of discipline. Just don't treat it like an illness, like something you have no control over. My brother used to do that and seemed to think that simply because he could admit he had a problem, that somehow it absolved him from doing anything about it. He used to talk about his laziness like it was some kind of affliction he suffered from.

That grubby feeling of being unproductive can really eat you up. You know how good it feels when you get into the swing of a good routine. Go the extra mile and hold on to the discipline. It's totally worth it.

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If you aint got nuffink, you can't lose it!

Mike

Malone, I wasn't saying going to the gym is a bad thing. I'm saying that it isn't a solution to stop eating fast food - changing eating habits is. A lot of people balance out bad eating habits with exercise, fueling their bodies with the wrong stuff.

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- Mike

Malone

I was referring to the girl he mentioned in his post, Mike, not you.

AA

I'm not sure, but I think he was referring to the meathead girl, not to you. And thanks by the way, you're totally right. I'm going to go cold turkey on fast food.

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There's not much else to say about that.

AA

You're right. And when I'm productive, I'm a monster about it. But when I fall off the wagon, I just go completely limp. I don't do anything useful. I feel so much better when I'm being productive. It's completely ridiculous that I would even give in to my sloth-like tendencies.

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There's not much else to say about that.

JoannaMac

It's not ridiculous at all. It's a big deal and not giving in is medal worthy. My job requires that I be stick thin, and under normal circumstances I don't have too much trouble with it. Since I started living in Kiev, my social isolation has meant I eat more. Eating has always been one of my biggest pleasures in life, but here it's out of control. Eating and making delicious things is a way of coping with my life and maintaining discipline is hard.

The more weight I put on, the more I worry about it. I also get shit from my husband because he's the one who has to lift me up and down everyday. The worse I feel, the stronger the desire is to eat.

If I shed the weight and keep it off, I feel like someone should give me some sort of achievement prize or something

So don't worry, your feelings are legitimate. Next time you want that chocolate bar or hamburger, just imagine me sitting on your shoulder saying "Don't do it sweety, be strong........"

Actually, I don't need to be sitting there all the time. You're young. You can eat junk food, just not as often as you want to. Just say no a bit more often and you'll see the results real quick

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If you aint got nuffink, you can't lose it!

Foxee

I diagnose you as being human.

(brilliant, hm? This is why nobody will let me practice medicine...I don't have enough practice)

Read up on The Zone, maybe. When I've bothered to eat right (according to balanced proportions of carbs, protein, and fat) and kicked my addictions to salt and sugar I've had willpower to spare. Falling off the wagon was more of a decision than a giving into a craving...then it's really hard to get back.

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By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. ~Mark Twain

smilinghelps

Foxee, you're awesome! I'd let you practice medicine, my doctor has never come to such an obvious conclusion!

The Zone does work for some people, I know a few people who have done it. I find that counting points (via WW) helps me a lot. I don't follow a "diet", as in I don't go to meetings or make special recipes, I have a set amount of points that I allow myself and this just keeps me in check and makes me think before I eat something. If I know that I've had my allotment for the day, I'm done. If I'm really hungry, I have an apple (1 point). There are online point calculators: punch in the calories, fat and fiber of what you're eating and see how many points it is. If you REALLY want it, eat it--but deduct those points from your daily allowance. Once you're weighing a few M & M's over an entire chicken dinner, and you're belly is growling, you'll choose the meal. (at least I'd hope so)

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"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
E. B. White

Foxee

Why ty, ty, smiling! The last time I was correctly diagnosed by an M.D. I was pregnant. I can't stand doctors (I told my doctor that and he said, "That's ok, I can't stand patients, either.")

Sounds like you've adapted WW to your needs. Frankly I won't count points but the Zone can be used the same way...you learn how to balance nutrition without really thinking about it.

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By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. ~Mark Twain

smilinghelps

Phew! So glad you doctor got THAT one right! I'm not a doctor-goer either. Haven't been in years. If I go, I'm really sick--which doesn't happen often.

When I was pg, I kept telling my Dr that I was having extreme back pain and he said, "Oh that's just the baby kicking". THAT hard? Wound up in the hospital in preterm labor due to kidney stones, with the doctor saying, "Oh you meant, really bad back pain?"

duh

__________________
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
E. B. White