2008 - a clean slate - Writers Forum

Zensati · 01-17-2008, 08:53 PM

Cool another year and time to lodge my foot up the worlds arse again! I've been taking care my one year old son for up to 3 days a week which has been great!

I really enjoy having one on one time with my son, I'm not the perfect dad and I do make mistakes with him from time to time, but I feel I am improving as a new parent. It certainly is a rewarding experience being a father and I am honored and proud to be Ryans dad.

Unfortunitly due to financial issues, I will be cutting down the amount of time I care for my son, and focusing more on a new fulltime job I am starting. I have got to pay the bills and It means I will be able to provide more financial support to Ryan.

I am not too happy with this change of plans but there is not much I can do about it. Anyway I have embraced my destiny and I will do what is neccesary.

abbeyd21 · 01-18-2008, 07:22 AM

It sounds like you're year is starting off well so congrats. You'll just have to come up with other ways to spend time with your son. It seems as thought you really want to so I'm sure you'll figure something out.

Zensati · 01-18-2008, 06:53 PM

Yes unfortuntly I have to travel a long distance to see my son, and my ex doesnt go out of her way to meet me half way on this matter, And with this new job I have, I have even less free time. Sometimes I dont even feel like I am his father due to the fact my ex will hardly let me see him. But what can I do? Going to court wont really get me anywhere.

Maybe I made a big mistake making a baby with my ex, maybe at the end of it all I was just a sperm donor to her. It makes me feel real negative and cynical. Now shes having a new baby to her current boyfriend.

I think I am just going to wait and see what happens... I'm kind of curious about a few things.

CodeRed · 01-19-2008, 09:05 PM

This may be a cliche, but quality time really is important. It can be hard to explain these things to children on a level that they will understand, particularly if they are used to having more of your time. You will probably have to explain to Ryan that it is not about him becoming less important, but that you need to be able to take care of him -and yourself- in other ways. Even if he doesn't quite get it now, I'm sure he'll appreciate it soon enough.

Zensati · 01-19-2008, 09:25 PM

Well he is only one year old so there is not much I can explain to him, Its just that when he grows older I am going to have alot to explain to him, and I cant even explain alot of this shit to myself.

Now I only have him every second weekend, The whole situation is fucked. But like I have said before I have accepted this situation. My ex was the one who decided it was best to leave me and take my boy away, and now it appears she has a replacement father for him and a new baby on the way.

I find it hard to accept, but I dont really get a choice In this matter.

CodeRed · 01-19-2008, 09:39 PM

Yes, for some reason I had it in my head that he was older when I posted that... In review, it's a little premature. I believe that the best way to be a good parent is to look after yourself first - it's the only way you will be capable of looking after someone else. Don't beat yourself up about things that it seems you view are failings on your part - every second weekend is twice as often as my ex takes his son, and I never even met my father. (Spoke to him on the phone once - I didn't even know that I was speaking to him until after I hung up).
And just so you know - there is no substitute for the real thing when you are taking such a positive role in his life.

Zensati · 01-19-2008, 09:49 PM

Thanks. that was good advice. I'm sorry to hear youve not met your father. Hopefully you get a chance to meet and know him. I really want my son to know that I am his real dad, sometimes I worry he might get confused.

CodeRed · 01-20-2008, 03:36 AM

Well, it's a little late for me and mine, but I'm always heartened to see a father who so obviously cares deeply for his child.

Zensati · 01-20-2008, 08:43 PM

I understand that you must strongly resent your father for not making an effort. But I guess until you meet him there will always be a question mark so to speak?

CodeRed · 01-21-2008, 07:21 AM

Actually, I don't resent him - to do so would be a complete waste of my energy. As it stands, he is no part of who I am, but I will freely admit that his absence is. The thing is, I've technically been an orphan since the age of 14, so I forged an identity completely independent of parental influence - the question mark has morphed into an exclamation mark, if you understand what I mean. But that's just me, I still place high value on familial bonds, and think that the role of the father is often underrated, your son is one of the lucky ones.

Zensati · 01-25-2008, 03:50 AM

Cool. well, I'm glad It turned out well for you. You obviously have alot of inner strength.

Zensati · 01-25-2008, 04:06 AM

I did the first week of my new Jobee. working as a storeman in a warehouse, Its interesting seeing how the other side live. To be honest I've spent very little of my life working and I managed to avoid responsibilities and enjoy the simple life. But now I am working hard and experiencing the lifestyle of the employed worker.

The biggest casualty is my spare time as I have alot less of it. But on a positive note I have more money to waste, (Or save for that matter.) I dont think my workmates really get me, some times they look at me like I'm a martian. because I am quite a simple person and i dont really like to flex my ego, whereas my workmates are quite worldly and love jibbering their mouths, But If I am to last at this job I will have to adapt my game. And learn to get over the whole culture shock of it all.

Zensati · 02-09-2008, 06:07 AM

Working sucks. I got to do the same repetitive bullshit over and over for 5 days a week. Why do they want humans to play the role of robots? Why not build a robot to do all the repetitive work? Robots would be more efficient and you wouldnt have to pay them.

Maybe soon someone will get wise and build a robotic workforce so I can focus on more intelligent topics! This whole work your arse off thing is childish.

When it comes down to it. I just want freedom. Thats why I admire aboriginals who have knowledge of how to survive in the wilderness. They can live off any food they come across and are free to walk the earth, The white man has much to learn from the aboriginies.

Zensati · 04-03-2008, 12:35 AM

My life is nuts.. but a cool kind of nuts.. I will admit something.. I dont trust women or politicians. In fact I am not even looking for a girlfreind anymore. I'm kind of over women. Most women dont like nice guys like me anyway, they would rather have a partner who treats them like shit.

I kind of understand. Its a women thing and they like guys with issues because its interesting and shit. So I've got no problem with it. In fact I really enjoy the freedom of single life.

I really like the fact I dont have to come up to another persons standards and I can be free to be me. When I am in a relationship I always feel like I am under pressure to conform. And I hate that feeling.

Asking a born rebel to conform is not a good Idea! because as soon as guidelines are set down for me I want to break all those rules. Isnt that what rules are made for? To be smashed into oblivion?

CodeRed · 04-05-2008, 12:08 PM

Glad you are enjoying being single.

As a side note, I once dumped a complete jerk for a 'nice guy'. Just thought I'd put that out there, since it seems to be a common belief that girls prefer a bastard over the stereotypical 'nice guy'.