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| How was your week? So, how was your week? Let me tell you about mine! |
10-19-2006, 05:40 PM
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#76
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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Caca - Tough love or not, that was a very rude post. Its alright to take what I have said, and say, "you say this, it annoys me" but to make generalizations of what I want or desire, to make assumptions, is utterly offensive.
I understand the gist of what you're saying, but I do not reject such ideas out of the fear of what you mention. I reject them for that first part, because they aren't me. I cannot hold up something that I'm not forever, eventually it will break down. I'm not a confidant person, I'm not assertive, there's alot of things I'm not. I'm not the nice guy so I can be a victim, I am who I am because its what feels right. Heck, on these forums I'm not even the nice guy, more people see me as the perpetrator than the nice guy, and I do see where they are coming from. However, if I can be confidant about somethings, one of them would be that I strive to be nice. I strive to make people happy, I wont grovel for people, its not one of those extreme "people pleasing" attitudes, but it does inhibit me from rejecting someone's comments and ignoring them. It does inhibit me from being assertive, or risking the ruin of a frinedship by asking someone out. I won't say that I don't have flaws and problems, I do, plenty that I probaly don't realize. But the last thing I strive for is people's sympathy, for their concern, to be the victim. I happen to be an open person, I think there are few of them out there because few people seem to react to open people well, but thats all it is, an openness. As much as I'm afraid to hurt somebody, I'm not afraid to share my story, and all the crappy parts that go along with it. I happen to be emotional, so that stuff does make me feel like shit, I'll admit the truth in that, does it come out as whiny and angst, yes it does, and I'm sorry for that. For the most part I'm not a whiny, angsty person, at the same time, I have shit for confidance, and feel like the world hates me. I was going to make a seperate post for this, to save yet another post on Zombie's thread (which he's probaly already realized went way off topic, for that I'm sorry) but I felt it nessescary to defend myself from misperception. I don't feel it was meant to be an attack, but it was most certainly hurtful and erroneous.
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10-19-2006, 05:44 PM
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#77
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by shadowseer
i have the same problem. Lots of friends who are girls, but none would seriously consider dating me. The one who did ended up breaking up with me, but luckily we're still friends.
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yea, my first relationship was at 17 (actually it was almost a year ago) and it was with a fantastic girl, and I still believe that to be the case. But she was overwhelmed by schoolwork and extracurriculars, and she also wasnt ready for anything serious, so the feeling came and went for her and it was over. It still sucks to think about it sometimes because she was a great person, and I'm so shocked that she would ever have liked me. But we are still friends (though it can be awkward at moments) The point being, even though I talk about how much being the nice guy sucks, there are always exceptions, and that story was one of them. And honestly, I do believe it gets easier as people mature, so I do believe there's hope for you Zombie, and if your as nice as you say you are, I'm sure you'll meet a fabulous girl. |
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10-20-2006, 09:18 AM
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#78
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Writer
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Craig,Colorado U.S.A.
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
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Here's my outlook on this.
You can be the nice guy and get a good loyal girlfriend eventually
OR
You can be a jerk and get loads of slutty girls who'll ditch you as soon as they're bored of you.
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10-20-2006, 09:25 AM
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#79
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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Quote:
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You can be the nice guy and get a good loyal girlfriend eventually
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Who says that is true? I rarely see it, I know I still have years to live, but there's really nothing that I've seen to make that a generally true statement....I'm not against you, I would love for it to be true, but I just have not seen the evidence for it. |
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10-20-2006, 09:34 AM
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#80
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Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Southwestern Pennsylvania
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,961
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Thamior, you're creating a self-fullfilling prophecy.
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By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. ~Mark Twain
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10-20-2006, 09:37 AM
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#81
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Writer
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Craig,Colorado U.S.A.
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by thamior
Who says that is true? I rarely see it, I know I still have years to live, but there's really nothing that I've seen to make that a generally true statement....I'm not against you, I would love for it to be true, but I just have not seen the evidence for it.
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Although you may not have seen it, it's out there. It just takes a while to coax it out into the open. Then, when you've spotted it, throw the net! Err...I mean ask the person in general (maybe it's an item, who knows? Some people are whack-jobs) out to the movies/dinner or something else, and they'll get to know you better and like you for who you really are, not what you look like, or how much trouble you can get it.
Either way, I beleive that eventually someone will see you for who you really are, and love you for it.
Just my opinion on this matter. |
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10-20-2006, 09:43 AM
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#82
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Writer
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Craig,Colorado U.S.A.
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
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Well, since this is the only place anyone's actually responded to my posts, I'll say this here.
I gotta go to school. Bye! Lol.....  |
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10-20-2006, 11:04 AM
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#83
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Foxee
Thamior, you're creating a self-fullfilling prophecy.
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perhaps, but I don't believe in such things, if it's going to happen then it will happen regardless of what I've seen.
Polar - I'm in college, I'm at school 24/7 |
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10-20-2006, 08:21 PM
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#84
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: in the prison of my own mind
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,645
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Tham, everyone has to believe in something, and you just believe in not believing....
Sucks about the 24/7 school thing....
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10-20-2006, 08:24 PM
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#85
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sanctuary
Tham, everyone has to believe in something, and you just believe in not believing....
Sucks about the 24/7 school thing....
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I believe in God...
it does suck, but at the same time, its college, its huge fun too. |
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10-20-2006, 08:25 PM
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#86
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: in the prison of my own mind
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,645
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not believing in companionship of a different level, not your belief in God...
Woo! once you go ballroom dancing, you dont go back!
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10-20-2006, 08:31 PM
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#87
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sanctuary
not believing in companionship of a different level, not your belief in God...
Woo! once you go ballroom dancing, you dont go back!
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??? huh? |
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10-20-2006, 08:32 PM
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#88
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: in the prison of my own mind
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,645
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I said you believe in not believing-I meant in reference to your doubt in love, not your faith to God
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10-20-2006, 08:34 PM
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#89
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pliable
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Juneau, Alaska
Posts: 12,607
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"Believing" in love is a good way to end up marrying a man or woman who you have kids with and then split with due to "unreconcilable differences." Use your head, not your heart (which is really just your penis or vagina wearing a mask).
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Drzava
Usually it takes at least 100 [posts] before people start to hate Hodge
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Science
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10-20-2006, 08:36 PM
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#90
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: in the prison of my own mind
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,645
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Hodge
"Believing" in love is a good way to end up marrying a man or woman who you have kids with and then split with due to "unreconcilable differences." Use your head, not your heart (which is really just your penis or vagina wearing a mask).
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lol!
That is a good point. But for every relationship like that, there is a relationship of people who really love each other...
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