I hate being the nice guy . . . - Page 4 - Writers Forum

Hodge · 10-18-2006, 05:56 PM

Honestly, the only way to gain confidence is to stop basing your opinion of yourself on others. So Dean Schmidt in 5th period thinks you're gay. Fuck him. So Sally Struthers the cheerleader thinks you're lame. Fuck her. So Mr. Hartman the geology teacher thinks you have no hope. Fuck him. And you have to say that, too. "Fuck you." It's a good habit to get into, and once you've mastered it, you can get creative. For instance:

Sally Struthers: "gosh, you sure are gay!"

You: "thank you for that astute observation, you no-talent, selfish, utterly vacuous waste of space. Can you cheer your way out an unwanted pregnancy? Fuck you."

Or:

Dean Schmidt: "hey loser!"

You: "that's funny you should say that, because you'll probably be working for me someday. Oh wait -- I'm setting my sights higher than running a McDonald's. Fuck you."

Or you can just ignore them. But that's no fun. And once they're gone you have no choice but to make peace with yourself and apologize to your ego for being suck a dick. Hopefully it won't say "fuck you!" when you do.

And Foxee, no offense, but you're female. Statistically, whether a woman is shy or not has very little bearing on whether she'll get married. A man, however, has little chance of getting married if he's shy because men are still usually the instigators in relationships. Confidence is a much more serious matter for us, because we can't just sit around and wait for someone to ask us out (except those of us who get VERY lucky).

sanctuary · 10-18-2006, 06:04 PM

Quote:

I didn't read all of what was said on this thread, but I wanted to jump in here and say that in my experience, nice guys are harder to find and jerks are at endless supply.

I actually disagree. I think we tend to overlook the nice guys because we only see them as friends. And if you are friends for a long time, it makes some girls wary of compromising that friendship because it will be awkward if you dont work out as a couple, to go back to being friends.

thamior · 10-18-2006, 06:38 PM

It seems that alot of my friends are female, however, there are alot of females that I think also just don't want to be around me. I'm not going to think "fuck them" because thats not who I am, but I should try to care less about the fact that they don't, I like to dwell however....

CandieK · 10-18-2006, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanctuary

I actually disagree. I think we tend to overlook the nice guys because we only see them as friends. And if you are friends for a long time, it makes some girls wary of compromising that friendship because it will be awkward if you dont work out as a couple, to go back to being friends.

What you're saying is true for the most part, but I have only had one of my close guy friends express any romantic interest. (and I did give it a chance)

But maybe it comes down to what kind of person you attract. It seems a lot of the time that I'm a 'jerk' magnet (and no, I don't strut around purposefully presenting a target). I haven't lost hope and believed what my step-dad tells me, "All men are dogs", but it just seems sometimes that the nice guys are all hiding somewhere.

When a nice guy comes along, I usually take notice.

Foxee · 10-18-2006, 09:15 PM

Quote:

And Foxee, no offense, but you're female. Statistically, whether a woman is shy or not has very little bearing on whether she'll get married. A man, however, has little chance of getting married if he's shy because men are still usually the instigators in relationships. Confidence is a much more serious matter for us, because we can't just sit around and wait for someone to ask us out (except those of us who get VERY lucky).

Not offended. I've been expecting a comment like this (what took you so long, Hodge?).

I really was just trying to give an idea what's going on in a girl's mind, a bit. Not that I'm typical but I'm only in my mind (most of the time) so I'm doing the best I can here. LOL. I think it's time to leave you guys to hash it out now.

thamior · 10-18-2006, 09:48 PM

ummmm, I don't know how.

IJS · 10-18-2006, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hodge

Honestly, the only way to gain confidence is to stop basing your opinion of yourself on others. So Dean Schmidt in 5th period thinks you're gay. Fuck him. So Sally Struthers the cheerleader thinks you're lame. Fuck her. So Mr. Hartman the geology teacher thinks you have no hope. Fuck him. And you have to say that, too. "Fuck you." It's a good habit to get into, and once you've mastered it, you can get creative. For instance:

Sally Struthers: "gosh, you sure are gay!"

You: "thank you for that astute observation, you no-talent, selfish, utterly vacuous waste of space. Can you cheer your way out an unwanted pregnancy? Fuck you."

Or:

Dean Schmidt: "hey loser!"

You: "that's funny you should say that, because you'll probably be working for me someday. Oh wait -- I'm setting my sights higher than running a McDonald's. Fuck you."

Or you can just ignore them. But that's no fun. And once they're gone you have no choice but to make peace with yourself and apologize to your ego for being suck a dick. Hopefully it won't say "fuck you!" when you do.

And Foxee, no offense, but you're female. Statistically, whether a woman is shy or not has very little bearing on whether she'll get married. A man, however, has little chance of getting married if he's shy because men are still usually the instigators in relationships. Confidence is a much more serious matter for us, because we can't just sit around and wait for someone to ask us out (except those of us who get VERY lucky).

This is what I've learned to do. Excellent advice.

Fantasy of You · 10-19-2006, 04:52 AM

Lol. If you reply with a come back like Hodge suggested, you'll find it even harder to get a girl. Just be yourself. Confidence will come when you accept who you are, which is so much harder to do when people are taking the piss of how you are. It'll come eventually, just stick with it....

Gunther409 · 10-19-2006, 05:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hodge

Fuck him.

This has pretty much been my attitude, but maybe that's why I'm single. The truth is that you almost have to care what people think about you, but only to an extent. It's kind of like not typing everything with Cap-lock on, you don't want everyone to think you're an idiot. To get a girl, you're going to have to care about what they think. (unless you're in a polygamist cult, then you don't have to) But at the same time you cannot be overly worried about what they think, because sometimes they're wrong. Just like you will be wrong sometimes. It's really a matter of balance, you just have to figure it out yourself and be flexible.

cacafire · 10-19-2006, 09:43 AM

This thread is funny, especiallly because the most popular guy at my school is the shyest, most academic, reticent guy you'll ever meet. But that doesn't stop every girl in the school from throwing themselves at him. He has to beat them off with a stick. *shrugs*

Yes, I am a nice guy. I can't get a date, but I don't care. Romance isn't in my blood.

-Cacafire

thamior · 10-19-2006, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cacafire

This thread is funny, especiallly because the most popular guy at my school is the shyest, most academic, reticent guy you'll ever meet. But that doesn't stop every girl in the school from throwing themselves at him. He has to beat them off with a stick. *shrugs*

Yes, I am a nice guy. I can't get a date, but I don't care. Romance isn't in my blood.

-Cacafire

that may be true, but its an odd exception to the rule. And I'm willing to be that he's damned physically attractive, and nice to boot. If you have those qualities then you don't have to be some of the other things.

cacafire · 10-19-2006, 10:57 AM

He's asian.

...
...
I used to pine for a girlfriend, but then I realized that's the most moronic thing I could ever do. For some reason, I don't feel like I need a girl in my life, though it would be nice. Y'see, while Mr. Happy wants a girl, I really don't have that much incentive to try to get laid that much.

Even if Redmond is an odd exception, that kind of thing really gives you hope, eh?

-Cacafire

thamior · 10-19-2006, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cacafire

He's asian.

...
...
I used to pine for a girlfriend, but then I realized that's the most moronic thing I could ever do. For some reason, I don't feel like I need a girl in my life, though it would be nice. Y'see, while Mr. Happy wants a girl, I really don't have that much incentive to try to get laid that much.

Even if Redmond is an odd exception, that kind of thing really gives you hope, eh?

-Cacafire

not really, because I'm not the odd exception, hahaha. I would like to say I'm not looking, I tried to say that...but my eyes still wander...

cacafire · 10-19-2006, 11:09 AM

Ah, thamior... Originally, I was going to be uber-rude and tell you to ask god to find you a date, but somehow that seemed a little too cruel.

Maybe pray?

-Cacafire

thamior · 10-19-2006, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cacafire

Ah, thamior... Originally, I was going to be uber-rude and tell you to ask god to find you a date, but somehow that seemed a little too cruel.

Maybe pray?

-Cacafire

God*

and it doesn't work like that my friend