tekp

Hey.

I need some advice.

There is somebody at my school who is kind of nasty and rude to me. I don';t really like him (14-year old male) but I don't not like him. I don't really know him. When I talk to him over the internet he seems nice enough to me, and checks out my website and stuff - I like it when people do that.
But then as soon as I get to school he laughs at me in corridors and stuff. On time it even went as far as him taking stuff from my bag in the dinner queue and throwing my posessions around with his mates and breaking several of them.

He also sends me the occasional harassing text message as well to my mobile phone.

I don't know whether I should blame him because he's all-right on the net, I have already seen a teacher about it when they threw my stuff around) and the 'major' stuff has stopped now. But i still don't know what to think...

I need some advice

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Aevin

Hmm . . . I experienced a little of that when I was younger too. There were a few people who I really liked, but kind of made fun of me at school. Once, they took my binder and used it as a football, bending the rings and making it almost useless. However, all these people were very nice to me when we were alone, or online.

All I can say is that it really solved itself in time, for me. As we got older, these people matured and became more genuine.

Does this person have a certain clique or crowd he stays with at school? When you talk about "his mates," it sounds that way to me. It could be that he's nice to you online because he likes you, but acts that way at school because of peer pressure. It's also possible that his taunts are his misguided way of getting your attention, or trying to include you.

I don't really have much to offer in the way of advice, but there are my observations. Maybe he will come around in time.

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"Go to, like, greater adventures!"
--Din from Namco's Tales of the Abyss

Kitten Courna

Time is good and forgiving to youths.

I was always the intimidating type, so I was left alone, for the most part. In any case, I don't suggest using the route of anger or intimidation unless you -really- have to defend yourself, which is something you may have to do someday.

As for handling the problem, I don't know if you can stay away from them at school, but it's what I would suggest. Aevin's advice is really the best, keep a level head about you and let it pass with time. But that isn't going to make getting pushed around or teased any easier (unless you're some kind of monk meditating on the meaning of life). I'd say he's probably not a bad guy, he's just temporarily a prick. That doesn't mean you should put up with anything for the sake of friendship, but just try not to get too bent up about someone who can't decide who he is. With any kind of luck, it'll turn out to be a temporary stupidity.

I hope things aren't too rough for you, good luck.

-Kitten

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Cadmus: Poor child, like a white swan warding its weak old father, why do you clasp those white arms about my neck?
Euripides; 'The Bacchae'

Kat

I'm sorry. It's never easy to be on the recieving end. I guess the best that I can say is that it'll get better. I think that junior high was the worst. It got slightly better in high school and then by college you were all on even playing field.

Since he seems nice to you elsewhere I would agree that it's probably peer pressure. Teenage boys can be so cruel when they just really want to fit in.

You could always ask him outside of school what's going on. He'll either apologize or bs you. But it might be nice to know either way.

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I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. -Sarah Williams

tekp

Thanks everybody

That's what I thought too, about the peer-pressure.

yes, he hangs around with 2 or 3 other boys (all 13/14) and just walks around and around school at lunchtimes. At breaktimes he stands on a higher part of ground to me and my friends, and so psychologically I think this makes me feel uncomfortable. Like he's higher than me in society as well, or something. Although he's not really in the 'in' crowd.

I figured that once I get to college it'll be ok, and people will hopefully have matured by then and will see you as a person instead of as just another person in the way of getting 'in'. If you get me...

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