Thread: Computerised Automobiles

Earlier this week, while we were out shopping, the car refused to start. Not a battery problem, not a lack of fuel problem, not a disconnected cable problem. As it happened, the car was parked right outside the local road service contractor’s premises. I walked in and asked for membership assistance.

The guy came out to the car, turned the key.

Zilch.

Then he pulled the engine cover off, to check if there was a pulse to an injector lead. At that point he lost me. I know sweet Fanny Adams about computerised car engines. Anyway, the pulse was okay.

He turned the key again. The car started. He scratched his head.

“I dunno,” he said. “Take it up to the Toyota dealer’s. They can put their electronic analyser on it and find out what caused it.”

So after we took the groceries home, I came back to the Toyota dealer. The guy there plugged in his electronic analyser, ran his fingers over the touch pad a few hundred times, tapped a key or two, and said, “Yep. There’s a fault there, right enough. Dunno what it is though. It’s not detecting that. My guess is it’s to do with the anti-theft immobiliser.”

Lovely. All this technology and no one knows a thing.

Yesterday, while I was on my way to the quack, I saw the road service contractor again, told him about the electronic analysis.

“Well, be prepared for it to happen again," he said. "Do you have another electronic key for the ignition?”

“No.”

"Well, next time, you might need a tow-truck.”

That’s modern cars for you. Phooey.

I might know sweet Fanny a little better than you, cuz I'm younger, but when it comes to repairing computerized cars, I'm often frustrated, especially so, as I was pretty good before. On the bright side, in my lifetime, non-computerized autos have needed repair 241 times to 37 for computerized. I wouldn't go back. We keep an unopened pint stashed under the seat for our mechanic, who gets nostalgic but wouldn't go back either.

Then there was that 79 VW mini bus (76?) with all vacuum controlled fuel injection.

I remember as a child, cars were on the side of small hills on every hot day because they overheated. Then you had the kind which had their cooling circulation connected with the engine (or something) and they'd overheat on the way downhill because they had created all of this heat yet weren't able to get rid of it because the engine was idling which of course meant the cooling system wasn't circulating.
That's old cars for you.

If a car overheated these days, you'd be asking serious questions to the owner; because it simply doesn't occur.

I had to put a new battery in my 6 year old MX5 yesterday, otherwise routine servicing. In 9 years my Subaru needed a Knock-Sensor, a rear wheel bearing and headlamp socket - Absolutely disgraceful! Computerised manufacturing has made cars so much more reliable that the running costs and time-off-road has, in real terms, dived. My Scoobie was 9 years old when I sold it, not a trace of rust.

I wouldn't be completely opposed to going back to horses and carriages. Then again, Pete's been laid up for ages.

I've watched Top Gear before and everytime I see Jeremy Clarkson fiddling with a ton of buttons and putting the car in 'race' I snort. In my book, 'race' is my right foot.

Technophobes for the win!

Race is my right foot as well. Though since I have a 4-cylinder Saturn that has a 0-60 in like, 15 seconds, I probably wouldn't win.

Modern cars sense and make hundreds if not thousands of decisions a minute. Advanced skid control goes into alert when you begin to hydroplane, the car knows it isn't going in the direction that it is being steered so the computer applies the disc brakes independently, hundreds of times a minute to correct the skid. Gone are the old spring chokes that slowly heated and opened up the throttle body and now we have spot on fuel injection that matches the fuel/air mixture for the ambient temperature and demand on the car. Front and side curtain airbags deploy in thousandths of a second saving us from eating the steering wheel. Navigation built in that speaks to you telling you when to turn, Onstar automatically summons help if you are unconscious after a wreck or locates your car when it's stolen.

I too miss being able to set the points and adjust a carburetor, but I sure like the advances.

I remember back in the late 80s when I worked at a car dealership/garage. One winter we hit a period of miserably cold temperatures. New car after new car was towed in - we thawed them out, got them running, and hauled in the next one. That's all we did for three days. My 15-year-old 'geezer' started up with no problem and ran like a dream. And when something goes wrong with the new computers the old pocketbook screams like a banshee.

Chalk up another one for the good old days...

Originally Posted by Hawke

I wouldn't be completely opposed to going back to horses and carriages. Then again, Pete's been laid up for ages.

It'd probably be you wearing the tack with Pete in the buggy.

I'm going to make my kids promise that when I start pining for the good old days, they'll go ahead and put me on the ice floe and get it over with.

Originally Posted by Baron

It'd probably be you wearing the tack with Pete in the buggy.

Are you calling me fat?

Originally Posted by shadowwalker

I remember back in the late 80s when I worked at a car dealership/garage. One winter we hit a period of miserably cold temperatures. New car after new car was towed in - we thawed them out, got them running, and hauled in the next one. That's all we did for three days. My 15-year-old 'geezer' started up with no problem and ran like a dream. And when something goes wrong with the new computers the old pocketbook screams like a banshee.

Chalk up another one for the good old days...

Granted, back in the 80's when computers were first making their debut in automobiles, quirks were many. A lot has changed and been refined, America was way behind the eight ball in the 80's when the fuel crunch hit. The Japanese had the small economy models down while American automakers were just trying to figure out front wheel drive and how to get more than 12 miles per gallon. I work at a Toyota dealership and have over 261,000 miles on my Toyota Tacoma, it's as reliable as a hammer. Here's "Ole Blue" getting ready to take us to have some fun..

Mind you, they're not infallible, the traction control on my MX5 is useless in the snow when you actually need it - I got out of the car, stood beside it and watched the wheels go round...

Originally Posted by Hawke

Are you calling me fat?

No, it's the saddle that's shrunk.