Thread: Good, Bad, and Ugly of Christmas

(WARNING: Bad poetry)


I'm writing a rhyme
right here on the spot
and if you don't like it
you can go where it's hot

(...What? Who wouldn't like the Caribbean?)

Christmas and presents
were here in a whiz
and also were greeting cards
mailman said: "Here they is!"

Prior to this I had baked
and I'd planned and I'd plotted
I'd saved and I'd spent
I'd crocheted, tied, and knotted

Car one, it had died
('twas the one with the loan)
leaving Car Two
a van with a groan

With the roar of a muffler
it sailed into the night
I went to play Santa
on came the ABS light

Traffic was stacked
by the fireman with care
as he waved his red wands
to move Grinches here and there

The lot it was full
of a merry parking throng
diving into each space
without even a song

Thus was my job
as a 3:00 am elf
(procrastination master
is what I think of myself)

Onward we went
into that day
when baby Jesus
was born in the hay
Verizon, they texted
'pay now or you're done!'
(my banking had suffered
because of car One)
with a threat to our phones
that they might be turned off
Christmas to Verizon
meant Robot Karloff

Still onward we traveled
to gifting and snacking
joking, unwrapping,
carrying and herding
many miles not lacking

And so we arrived home
in the ABS light
to brush teeth and hands
and find a new fight
for under the kitchen
all snug on its pad
the water heater now
decided to go bad

It all was too much
for my poor head
I just took two Ibu
and headed for bed

Today I'm referee
and Repair and Support
battery-changing guru
for kidlets so short

Relatives are harassing
with various stuff
disappearing sounds better
than taking their guff



Eh...no clever ending. Suffer!

Clever endings are so overrated!

Sounds like you had a very busy Christmas and it's not over yet. *Big Hugs*

Thanks, Gumby! *hugs!* You aren't kidding about that!

Aww looks like you had a trying time.

Take care, hope everything is back to normal soon.

Ty, CP, the hot water's been restored thanks to my hubster which is a great morale-booster. Now, if my grandmother would stop harassing me to 'write a nice song and sing it on saturday with the kids' I'd be even happier.

Yikes! You could sing your poem for grandma. I love it, but am sorry it's the dratted reality.

Originally Posted by Eluixa

Yikes! You could sing your poem for grandma. I love it, but am sorry it's the dratted reality.

LOL, thanks Eluixa, I hadn't thought of that but you're right (she would especially like the 'here in a whiz' and 'here they is' parts) I just don't see me putting it to music. Bad poetry + inexperience = train wreck. Of course, that has appeal of its own...like perhaps people would be excited for us to stop singing.

Yep, reality bites but we're still better off than last year this time so overall I'm happier. I hope you and your adorable kiddos are having a marvelous holiday break.