Thread: What is failure?

Since it is a Bank Holiday, I consider today the end of the week. Last week reminded me of the adage, "nothing ventured nothing gained."

It struck me that there is a counter axiom to that, that goes something along the lines: "he who has no goal, has no obstacles."

It is easy to be self-critical when you fail. An ambitious person who attempts 10 things may experience 5 failures compared to someone else who attempts nothing and experiences none. Once you try to free yourself from weaknesses all of a sudden you notice setbacks that never bothered you before; they suddenly seem unjust whereas when you expected nothing from and gave nothing to the world, you didn't notice it.

I did a reading this week. I had practiced every day for seven days so that nothing could go wrong. And yet when it came to it, I kept tripping over words. It felt like a dissaster. But the worst thing was I wouldn't have cared if I had not prepared for it so thoroughly. So now I am looking for more opportunities to practice public reading and maybe also a coach.

IMHO, "failure" is as personal a concept as "success" is.

Some people are extremely risk adverse. There are so many cliché's about getting back on the horse, or bike once you fall. For some, the pain after each fall begins to outweigh the possible perceived reward for eventually success.

Thrill Seekers are the opposite. They may not enjoy the fall, but they so look forward to the opportunity itself, it outweighs the pain.

Circle, it sounds like you have things in perspective. Most of us use some combination of internal and external stimuli to motivate us. The greater reservoir of personal fortitude you posses, the more opportunities or attempts you will make. And eventually, more successes.

A reliable support structure of of family, friends and peer group members helps. But you make the step. Go get 'em.

I would consider it a success that you stood up and read to people, even making mistakes. Its all about perspective. Good going!

Failure is just a word. A bit like insecurities.
If you live your life ignoring these words, negative words, then life would just be about trials experiences and encounters.
Nothing lost but lots gained.

Thanks for the positive thoughts all.

It looks like the trolls are in hiding; no "EPIC FAIL" in sight!

I DJ at the local community center's roller rink on Fridays, and am so tickled watching the young kids grabbing at their parents, the railings, and each other due to their fear of falling. I always wish that their parents would lightly push them to the ground so they can see that the world doesn't end if they fall. They'd learn quickly that falling doesn't equal failure and that once you get over the fear, you're able to make more progress.

I'll second Winston- it's definitely a personal concept. I think a bit aspect of our definition of failure is the level of finality we put on it. Some people say 'I failed' and see themselves as a failure as a result, they internalise it. Others say 'I failed' and they mean 'I failed this time, at this particular thing' but they dont generalise it in their lives.

Personally, as a lifelong equestrian nut, I have learnt the very valuable lesson that falling off the horse is an integral aspect of learning to stay on. Literally and figuratively.

Failure is not getting up when you fall. The successful person is the one who gets up one more time than he falls.

My favourite book in the English language, The Inner Game of Tennis, discusses the importance of "permission to fail." Allowing ourselves to screw up is important -- it's what enables the childlike self to learn. I picked this book up because I used to have some serious stage fright issues, and one of the things it talks about it how we often perform more poorly when we put too much pressure on ourselves. Sounds a lot like your predicament. Next time you have a reading like this, remind yourself that it's okay to screw up and you'll probably do a lot better.