The gun is to my head!
Ok, no it isn't.
Seriously, no need to worry.
But you're in my thread now.
Ha ha.
Today (August the second) is my birthday.
So far, I've been called by a wrong number, an obviously high class mate trying to sell me weed, and a masked number that informed me that I enjoyed dick penetrating my anus.
A startling revelation! Oh thank you, anonymous telephone seer; until this day, I had thought myself straight!
Must be some coming of age thing.
But this isn't too terrible. Let me delve back into memory.
Awhile ago, on my birthday, I was in the supermarket with my mum. I would have been about nine at the time, and she was picking a cake to buy for my party. She wouldn't let me see it because it was a surprise.
Come the party, I was all excited about the cake when my mum took me to one side and said, "Son, the cake has been destroyed by an incompetent cook and we only have one other type of food here so it'll have to do". Upset, I sniffle, but my good cheer immediately returns with my mum, who is carrying an enormous sausage with a few candles stuck in. She sings "Happy Birthday" to me.
And that was my wurst birthday ever.
Oh, there is nothing good about what I do.
But it's only 3 hours in so far, maybe this birthday won't be so bad. Who knows? Who cares?
Until the Horseman cometh, Bryce Out, with extra love today.
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