Matthatter

I was just outside having a cigerette when a crazy toothless homeless woman approached me. She stood (too close) beside me and told me she was waiting to pick up her friend there (right...).

First she offered me a sip of her Hansen, and when I politely refused she insisted that it was very good. Then she asked for a drag of my cigerette, so I just offered her her own. Then after taking me lighter she asked me to look at two music-playing greeting cards she had gotten for free before two guys tried exciting the door she was standing in front of, only moving out of the way after I told her to move for the 4th time.

Then she asked me if I wanted to go have a beer with her, so I told her I had a writing assignment I had to finish. Then she asked if I was 6. Am I what? Six? Six? Yes, six. I don't understand. 6 feet. Oh, yes, I am six feet. Exact? Um, sure.

I finish my cigerette and tell her I have to get back up (to my apartment). Then she says "I'm Mom" and tries to hug me. I moved her arm away, saying no thank you. But even as I closed the door she stared through it, pleading, insisting to me that she is, indeed, "Mom".

I have to take a shower.

JHB

What if she really was your mother? What kind of cruel, unforgiving writer are you?

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Malone

Lighter thieving bitch. There's just no excuse for that. We have an old alcoholic man that sounds like this lady that roams around here. Sad yet annoying.

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There Is A Policeman Inside All Our Heads: He Must Be Destroyed

OtherWorlds

I have to say, I was just scanning the threads to see which one sounded most interesting and this one definately takes the cake. Lol. Any chance that crazy hobo could be your real mom? You were cruel to cut her down so quick.

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A resource for writers of fantasy and paranormal romance.

Matthatter

No, no chance. I know who my mom is.

Cruel?! I hope you're joking! Haha. I was very patient and nice to her. But a creepy woman, staring at me with those eyes of insanity and trying to put her arm around me, telling me "I'm mom", is a bit much. I'm not going to pity hug that.

Straylight

Toothless in Oregon implies methamphetamine, not necessarily age, so the $100,000 question is:

Was she hot?

__________________
"Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice."
-Ayn Rand

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it. "-Voltaire

Matthatter

She definitely had the look of a long time meth user.

She was pretty old, though. I suppose a lack of teeth can be beneficial for certain activities... but no, God no. No no no no no.

Straylight

Yeah, nothing kills the libido faster than the sight of a toothless, crazy-eyed meth-addict that looks like skeletor because they neglect basic nutrition in the all-consuming desire to score more meth.

Crappy day for you . Moral of the story: Talking to hobos is never a good idea. The proper response is to put your hand on your concealed handgun in an obvious fashion and stare them down

__________________
"Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice."
-Ayn Rand

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it. "-Voltaire

terrib

ahhh man...that was sad

lin

So did she swallow?



He said "homeless": let's not turn this into another debate on hobosexuality

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Writ-with-Hand

I'm a sexually amoral son-of-a-bitch, so in a dog eat dog world I'm not sure which more disgusting, the fact that I'm sexually amoral or the fact that grow morality here and there.

Something not the same but slightly similar once happened to me years back on a lovely Las Vegas evening. The sky was black, the weather warm, and I was downtown on the old strip drinking at a casino bar at the edge of glass doors raised, exposing me to to the old strip and large and moving tourist crowd.

The older woman, a white woman, was hitting on me and you could tell life had been hard on her, at least for some time. It was worn into her face. Unfortunately I'm never a cruel son-of-a-bitch so when the bartender refused her drinks and asked me if she was bothering me, I made sure he understood she wasn't.

She was willing to have sex with me for a drink or more than one drink. Being the amoral person I am, I could have taken advantage of this opportunity, taken her to my motel room, and stuffed her mouth full of my cock. I keep my genitals clean and groomed so it couldn't have been to horrible.

But growing morality, due no doubt to being a disgustingly soft son-of-a-bitch, I walked either walked her down to a store to purchase alcohol or I gave her money for it, I can't remember. What I do remember is that I treated her with kindness and also declined her flirting hints. I did not embarrass her and wished her well. What sparked this? It suddenly began bothering me that this was in all likelihood someone's mother.

Could I stuff someone's mother's mouth full of my cock? Yeah, I believe I could, and at my age it's extremely likely, but not in that context. And if that was my mother out on the street I would not want someone or some people just speaking to her badly, pushing her down, or even making fun of her.

terrib

I think he was talking about smoking tobacco Lin, not chewing tobacco.

Malone

I have a friend who always picks up the old guy around here that sounds like this lady. He'll end up driving him around town from place to place while this old drunk mumbles and everone at the places they go say to take the old man somewhere else. So avoiding these people is probably the best idea.

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There Is A Policeman Inside All Our Heads: He Must Be Destroyed