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The Befuddled Group is by invitation only. Chronological age is not the determining factor for admission although it helps. Even if you’re in your twenties, your membership will be considered if you have ever made any of the following remarks: I’m too tired to get out of bed today. The bleeding won’t stop. I left my car keys right here. I smell like I stepped in dog/cat shit. I’m sure if I died my hair, I’d get more women. Speak up, goddamn it. I've fallen and I can't get up.
It can never work, you will never get it off the ground, no-one sees themselves this way, I only joined to keep an eye on the oldies in case they need a carer, I have no idea why you invited me, it is only my body that is failing me, I have the mind of an adolescent. Not a modern adolescent it's true, but definitely too young for this place, I have no idea why you invited me, I'm only likely to stick about out of pity.
The pills for my cramp are giving me tinnitus, the pills for my eyes give me osteoporosis and a high cholesterol, The pills for the cholesterol give me a bad memory, the pills for the osteoporosis give me stomach problems, the pills for my stomach don't seem to do anything nasty, yet. The eye drops are for the glaucoma induced by the pills, soon I shall have a cataract operation to get rid of the pill induced cataracts. When I go out I use factor 50 sun cream because the pills make me liable to skin cancer and I take regular urine tests to see if they are causing bladder cancer. For a while I had vitamin B12 injections because it seemed the pills were stopping me absorbing it, but it turned out to be a tummy infection doing it, my immune system is depressed by the pills, so I got some antibiotic pills for that. I get headaches sometimes thinking about it but I try to put up with them and let them pass naturally, it doesn't do to take too many pills.
It can never work, you will never get it off the ground, no-one sees themselves this way, I only joined to keep an eye on the oldi; no wait a minute, I may be repeating myself, no flies on me.
I’m too tired to get out of bed today. No, I am simply here because I choose to be, there is nothing much on today. The bleeding won’t stop. This is a simple medical problem, what is the fuss about? I left my car keys right here. Well I did. I smell like I stepped in dog/cat shit. Of course I don't, there must be something wrong with your nose. I’m sure if I died my hair, I’d get more women. That is if I felt like it and really wanted to. Speak up, goddamn it. All right, no need to shout I've fallen and I can't get up.
I've fallen and I can't get up When I get down I have trouble getting up and can use some assistance sometimes. No edit function on these posts? Slapdash, what is the world coming to?
