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Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Rio Rancho, New Mexico
Gender: Male
Posts: 17
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Meh, I don't like it
I like how it flows and many other things, but I swtiched things around in my story, so it has no place in my story. Mainly, I changed his abilites (Mainly the idiotic Dragon ability)
Skarlac, vicious beasts, fur around most of their body, long arms and bloody fangs, huge claws and a superhuman speed and strength. A deadly combination that no man could escape, something Aeodus was now trying to do.
Even with his trained wiry body he couldn’t outrun them; he could hear their claws scratching against the rocks, stirring up the leaves, causing a wind current almost with their speed.
Aeodus looked behind him. They came crashing around the corner in the path, a few hitting the trees, leaving gashes that were both deep and thick, the trees bleeding sap in place of blood.
I will not die today!
He kept running, adrenaline pumping through his hardened veins. Aeodus had never felt this type of fear in his life. He knew that unless a miracle happened, he would surely die.
No, no, no!
Sweat poured down his shirt. It was hot and sticky, even for this dead night. Aeodus turned and came to a dead end, and whipped around to hear their raucous roars coming ever closer.
He looked to his right, then to his left. Only one way to go. He looked back to his right, and saw the thick gangly trees that stood still like tombstones. He looked further in and could see the main road not too far into the thicket. He could hear the skarlac about to come around the corner, and he dashed into them.
Banners of bleached moonlight fell down through the leaves and onto the underbrush and dead leaves and dry twigs. He looked up at the sky, clouds had moved in, darkening the forest further.
A flash of light illuminated the forest for only a second, then a loud crack of lightning, booming, sending the birds into flight.
His eyesight narrowed, his breath became shallow. He felt as if time was at least ten times slower than usual. He saw the ground coming closer to him. The speckles of water falling slowly, bouncing off the dried underbrush below.
He hit the ground. Air rushed out of his lungs, dazing him as he started to crawl further along the ground. His ankle hurt, and as he looked back, he knew it would be his doom.
He looked ahead of him. The skarlac were smart, but he never thought they were this smart. They were now surrounding him, their tongues lolling and saliva dripping from their mouths.
He started to stand up. Aeodus wobbled and stood ragged and cold, the wind starting to stir, as if nature herself was ready for the bloodshed soon to come.
His small dagger came out, curved and sharp, but against these terrors, it would do little. The pain in his ankle was overpowering, he wanted to fall over, but if he did, he would be destroyed without even a chance, something he would never do he thought.
The skarlac looked at each other, and then looked even more ravenous when their eyesight came back onto Aeodus. One roared, and jumped on him.
Aeodus brought his blade up, and caught the monster under his stomach, and ripped the blade from the skarlac’s flesh. He looked where the skarlac landed and saw something glinting gold in the leaves.
His pause was his mistake, as one jumped onto his back, sending him crashing down onto the ground. Dust sprayed up into the air, and Aeodus caught the skarlac by the neck, and stabbed it in its throat.
He now lay beside the glinting item he saw in the dirt, and as another skarlac jumped onto him, he grabbed it. His blade kept true, and he stabbed the next one in the eye, then the leg, and threw the monster away from himself. He looked closely at the small jewelry in his hand and realized it was a necklace and pendant that glowed with a white aura, even though it’s stone was black.
As another Skarlac was about to jump onto him, he slipped the stone on and grabbed the skarlac and threw him into the ground, and stabbed him in the chest, and kicked the body away with his strong foot.
He grabbed onto the stone as three more skarlac descended upon him. He felt it slip around his neck, but his hands never moved. He closed his eyes. I can’t die now!
Am I dead?
He opened one eye, squinting up at the moon. He could hear nothing, his ankle didn’t hurt anymore, and he felt stronger, at least ten times stronger.
He noticed also that he was for some smaller and felt odd in his own body. He turned over on to his stomach and touched the hard but wet, wood chips in front of him, and noticed something different about his arm.
It was scaled and short, with long red talons at the end, curved and precise, they cut through the underbrush with ease.
He looked behind him, a long spiked tail left from his body, the moonlight bouncing off his glorious scales.
He then jumped up, and looked around.
Where did they go?
He then looked down at the puddle beneath his feet. Aeodus looked at this creature, and he could see the resemblance between him and this beast. Two curved horns extended from his skull, extending forwards into a sharp and deadly tip. His fangs where extended and white, extending from his upper jaw out of his lip and stopped before his fang stopped.
Aeodus then realized how small this new form was. He was only half his human size. His scales were dark like the night, and his eyes glowed blue, although his horns and spikes were crimson red.
Aeodus turned his neck to see two small appendages extending from his back, leathery, he could fell the veins pulse lightly inside of the new wings. They were gnarly and large; their total length when he stretched them was near three times his small body.
Aeodus realized it then. It hit him harder then a tsunami crashing against the rocks.
I’m a dragon!
With that, he ran and jumped into the air, extended his wings and looked around the night sky, the joy and loft of flying was still knew to him, and as he looked around he realized more about this new body.
I can see easier at night, and….
His eyes shifted back to where he was ambushed, and could see the skarlac moving away, even under the think leaves and darkness, he could see them, and he could feel them... He laughed on the inside, and felt light and feathery.
His hesitation was bad enough. He started to descend, the ground moving faster to him, his wings didn’t work the way he wanted to, and with a thunderous thump, a scattering of leaves and then one beam of blue light shooting into the dark night, and Aeodus fell unconscious in the woods.
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