Damien.

He started guiltily as he felt a hand drop onto his shoulder. “What are you doing?” the older man’s voice deep and serious. “Are you doing what I think you’re doing?” Serious tones were never good - but nothing an adorable face couldn’t deal with. He craned his head over his shoulder to meet the tall man’s gaze. “God, Elov, you scared me.” Nikka smiled the sweetest smile he could conjure and let his blue eyes grow big. “Why are you home so early?” Elov’s hand did not loosen on the younger boy’s shoulder. “You’re hacking again.” Nikka squirmed under the heavy grip and turned to the computer, and with a blurring of his fingers, closed everything he had been working on. “No, I’m not.” Elov spun the spinny office chair around. “You were.” Nikka looked down guiltily and settled for biting his lip, waiting for Elov to crumble, as he always eventually did. Nikka smiled gently as he felt the hand slide off his shoulder and brush through his gold hair. “I’m sorry, Elov,” Nikka whispered. “Sometimes I just can’t help it.” The hand combed through his hair and started caressing his neck. Nikka dared to look up. “Must you act so cute?” Elov said, shaking his head. “What would you do if the FBI found out? You’re not supposed to -” Nikka shot up out of the chair and pressed his body against the other man’s. Anything to distract him. Elov acted predictably, pushing the younger boy away with enough force to bruise him. Nikka mourned the lost opportunity as angry dark eyes bored into his. “What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t ever do that again!” Elov backed away. “What - you think if I sleep with you I’ll allow you complete computer access? Don’t be a slut.” Nikka felt as though he’d been slapped, and he didn’t look up to watch Elov leave. Fuck him. He didn’t understand. Nikka would do anything - anything - to hack. It was like a drug, and besides, it was the only thing he was good at. He’d like to see Elov stop writing. He wouldn’t last a day.



It's crap, I know. This is what I get when I try to force myself to write. I haven't written anything remotely good for a week and a half, and I swear I'm going insane. Ahhhhhhh!! It's not just that I don't have an idea; the words aren't fitting together properly. They're all choppy and just not right. Die you stupid, stupid fingers! Work!

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Damien.

In advance, yes, they are two men. I cannot write anything from a female's viewpoint, nor can I write anything passably straight. Sue me.

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www.youfail.org

PrisonerOfPrey

I enjoyed it. You would think that by now people would know you write about men, lol. I always enjoy your writing! And despite what you say you got emotion across very well. Especially Elov's anger. BTW message me when you start threads, I really do love to read what you write.

oh, and if you need inspiration...I'd like to know more about Pasha and....___early relationship.

Oh, and about this one. I think it would benefit from a more definite idea of age differences.

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Now I lay me down to sleep/
With every passing thought I weep/
Lead me into nights dark bliss/
And let me wake in innocence. -Me

Damien.

Hmm... quite correct. I'd say ages are 16-19, and Elov's probably 35-40.

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Kast13

It's good, also I think knowing what the relationship between the two is would help.

astralis

What's the problem? You don't know where to go next? Are you freewriting or do you have the characters developed already? Do they have a character arch? Do you have a plot arch?

The writing is fine, for a first draft, and so I'm not sure what the problem is that you're having.

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Damien.

The problem is the writing is crap. I also have absolutely no plot.

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astralis

Maybe step back and plot some. Otherwise, as I said, the writing is fine.

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How to write a story