Kye

I wrote this in second grade, for Neopet's, a virtual pets website. Lupe is a type of pet that looks like a wolf...doglefox is a petpet (pretty self explanatory). I know, it sucks so much I had to share it. Can't believe I actually found it. Just so you know, I have a new computer now. I just happen to be powering up my old computer the other day because my new one was broken...I can't live with e-mail

Alli (pronounced al-I) walked from her house into the fresh air. It was the first day of spring and it looked like it too! The tulips and daisies are growing high over the little lupe’s head. Grass was sprouting from the little roots in the ground. In Alli’s sense and most others it was a very pretty day. The lupe walked into the tall grass with a smile on her face, she had not been in this kind of weather for months it being winter and all. What would a cute little lupe like Alli be doing on such a nice day? Well I guess what she normally does sit out in the snow (or today grass) and admire the sun shining brightly before her.
***
Alli looked at her little brother in anger, “stop breaking my toys Dold!!” Alli screeched as she grabbed the broken plushie from the baby lupe’s hand. “Be nice to your brother!” Alli’s Mother yelled from the other room “we’ll get it fixed tonight” she finished. Alli was the kind of person who would fight more, but decided ending the conviction was a good idea. Alli stormed up to her room and jumped on her fluffy bed. Just than Alli herd a quire sound. “rff” she heard again. Than a small doglefox came out from under Alli’s bed. The doglefox had a large cut coming from his leg. Alli wanted to help so she brought the petpet to his mother. “She badly hurt,” said Alli’s Mom as she looked at the doglefox hopelessly. Alli’s mother mended the doglefox brightly. “Now what are we going to do with this little fellow.” She said. “Alli you have him!” “Really MOM?” Alli asked excitedly. Alli’s mother just nodded slightly and without another word Alli ran to her room with her little doglefox in hand.
***
“Danny!” (Danny was the name of Alli’s doglefox) Alli yelled as she poured his food into a bowl. The doglefox ran into the kitchen and started munching away. Than the little yellow owner of the doglefox, better known as Alli sat in one of the kitchen chairs and ate her breakfast happily.

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JHB

This is amazing for a second grader. Unless your mommy helped you out.

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"Rock is fine, death to Scissors!" -Paper

Mr Sci Fi

This isn't horrible, it's pretty good for a second grader.

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"The writer you envy today will probably have reason to envy you tomorrow." - Orson Scott Card

Truth-Teller

I can just see Kye smirking and giving herself a high-five.

We've been duped, people.

Kye

xD It may have been at the beginning of grade three, but I still didn't trick you!

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winner

This is really good. Amazing for a second grader. It is surprising how 'talent' sometimes shows up so early in life. I have things I wrote as a child that amaze me now. I didn't realize it was a 'talent' then. I just thought I liked to write a lot and it was my hobby.

winner

I just read your last post. Did you do this in the second or third grade or not? If you did it was really good. But are we being duped, as Truth Teller says? Are you not telling the truth?

winner

This is really good. Amazing for a second grader. It is surprising how 'talent' sometimes shows up so early in life. I have things I wrote as a child that amaze me now. I didn't realize it was a 'talent' then. I just thought I liked to write a lot and it was my hobby.[/quote]

winner

"A mans worth is in his word"

I just read your last post. Did you do this in the second or third grade or not? If you did it was really good. But are we being duped, as Truth Teller says? Are you not telling the truth?

Kye

I believe beginning of third grade or end of second.

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Truth-Teller

Really good, incredibly moving, exceptionally written as a third grader--but utter shit as an adult.

Name her Ali-G, then it might be interesting.

Also, avoid the adverbs. It lessens the impact of your work.

TheRaven

That is truly amazing for a second/third grader! Heh heh, you should see my stuff from back then, it's awful.

scribblehood

Not bad for a second grader, it reminds me of the time when I went on neopets...hehe.

chop

Thats good for a 2nd/3rd grade kid. Wow you must be really good now

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