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At work today, I decided to do some slacking. So I used one of the most basic, yet successful slacking techniques: going to visit the local washrooms to take a 90-minute crap.
Now, normally Brits try to be terribly polite at work, so we pretend that we don't poop or fart, but personally I really don't mind people knowing that, from time to time, I go and take a dump. The major difference between me and other people seems to be that I crap at work.
It's a deliberate policy. Pooping takes quite a long time out of a man's day, what with all the getting up and walking downstairs to the washroom and straining away--remember, girls, we don't have those baby-pushing muscles, so number twos are tougher for the gents!--so I prefer to poop on time I'm getting paid for. Besides, a quick calculation shows that at four sheets of toilet roll per dump, crapping at work when the Man's paying for the paper can add up to quite a saving. And there's further savings to make on water, soap, and so on as well.
So, all you slackers, remember this important tip: Do not shit in your own house or on your own time.
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Born naked, helpless, unable to care for himself and completely open-minded, Non Serviam has subsequently surmounted all these difficulties and gone on to become a decently-clothed, self-sufficient, close-minded sod.
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