Diary of a slacker - Page 3 - Writers Forum

smilinghelps · 12-12-2007, 02:40 PM

Non,

I've been so much a slacker that I have only read one of your recent rewrites. I've seen them but lack the energy to read.

And I love your main character. I wish motivation came in a can like slackness.

Non Serviam · 12-14-2007, 11:42 AM

At work today, I decided to do some slacking. So I used one of the most basic, yet successful slacking techniques: going to visit the local washrooms to take a 90-minute crap.

Now, normally Brits try to be terribly polite at work, so we pretend that we don't poop or fart, but personally I really don't mind people knowing that, from time to time, I go and take a dump. The major difference between me and other people seems to be that I crap at work.

It's a deliberate policy. Pooping takes quite a long time out of a man's day, what with all the getting up and walking downstairs to the washroom and straining away--remember, girls, we don't have those baby-pushing muscles, so number twos are tougher for the gents!--so I prefer to poop on time I'm getting paid for. Besides, a quick calculation shows that at four sheets of toilet roll per dump, crapping at work when the Man's paying for the paper can add up to quite a saving. And there's further savings to make on water, soap, and so on as well.

So, all you slackers, remember this important tip: Do not shit in your own house or on your own time.

sam_kempton · 12-14-2007, 11:56 AM

oh my god that is fantastic, so funny.
i would laugh but i cant be arsed.

Olly Buckle · 01-01-2008, 06:06 PM

did Giant sloths bother to walk the earth? seems unlikely, hauling that great body about. what do you want benefit money for? shopping is a total pain. i could go on but i can't be bothered.(using the shift key takes both hands)

The Backward OX · 01-12-2008, 05:09 AM

reading your lower-case reply and your reason therefor reveals that the late, lamented mammamaia must have been the original wf slacker as she wrote everything that way......for me, i've got it down to a fine art.....when i bend down to tie my laces i look around to see if there's anything else i can do while i'm down there......