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File 13 Got something you were going to throw away, something that just didn't fit or work out the way you planned? Share it here.

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Old 08-10-2007, 12:17 PM   #1
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A conversation

This was a concept I played around with turning into a short story, but became more of a stand-alone bit of prose. Feel free to comment.


“Kuro? I’ve been thinking.” Said the girl walking through Central Park. “What happens to you when I die?”

“I’m not sure, but I assume I’ll die with you.” He responded.

“I’d like that—not the dying part, but knowing that I won’t be alone. I don’t know how normal people can stand it.”

“They don’t know any differently, I suppose. What was it like for you before I showed up?”

“Well, I don’t really remember that much before then. Guess I was lonely. Kuro?”

“Yes, Mia?”

“For all the trouble you cause, I’m glad you’re here.”

“…”

“I know Dr. Jake says I should ignore you, but you know I can’t do that.”

“…”

“Do you want me to ignore you?”

“He does make a compelling case on how good it’d be for you if I weren’t here at all.”

“But he doesn’t care about you; I do!”

“I don’t exist, Mia.”

“Not to them, no, but you do to me!”

“Shh, I thought you wanted more than anything to be normal.”

“I’m normal, normal as I’ll ever be. Don’t make me give up my best friend!”

“Hush, child! Lower your voice. Let me talk to Dr. Jake.”

“How?”

“We’ll find a way.”

“Okay.” She told the empty air beside her, her breath forming fog on the cold air.
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Old 08-10-2007, 03:38 PM   #2
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I like it. I wish you would have continued to develop it because I wasn't ready to stop reading.
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Old 08-10-2007, 04:08 PM   #3
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Good little piece of dialogue. Is this part of something larger, or just a bit of writing practice?

One thing threw me. In the first sentence you wrote that the girl was walking through central park. In the last line, she is speaking to an empty chair beside her. Is she walking or sitting?

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Old 08-10-2007, 04:11 PM   #4
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It wasn't chair lost, it was air...lol
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Old 08-10-2007, 04:15 PM   #5
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intersting...i love stories with imaginary characters because possiblities are endless...
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Old 08-10-2007, 04:44 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie_Eleanor View Post
It wasn't chair lost, it was air...lol
dope!

oops. I should really read shouldn't I?

err. Good piece
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Old 08-11-2007, 10:24 AM   #7
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Lol, thanks. =)
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Old 08-12-2007, 06:02 AM   #8
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Really interesting piece. I'd like to see it developed.
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