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File 13 Got something you were going to throw away, something that just didn't fit or work out the way you planned? Share it here.

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Old 07-22-2007, 10:50 AM   #1
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Four sides of the story

I've been thinking about this novel for a while, but simply don't have the time to finish it. It's all yours.

Basically, we start with a woman waking up in the morning, kisses her husband and goes into the kitchen to make breakfast. Her husband and kids smell the egg and bacon, and make their way down there as well. It's a very peaceful Tuesday morning, pretty much like every other day. The sun is shining, everyone is happy and it couldn't be better.
After breakfast, the woman hugs her kids, kisses her husband goodbye and drives off to work at the local bank. She greets her co-workers, gets a cup of coffee and chat with them for a few minutes, then go behind the counter and get ready for the new day. And for the first few hours, she is very happy. Being a relatively small town, she know most of the people who enters the bank, and start thinking about the weeked when she and her husband will go up to the cabin where they first dated and celebrate their anniversary... or at least, until five people in skimasks show up, holding guns or different size. Yep, a bankrobbery in progress. We get to see the entire thing from start to finish from her perspective, and I intended to show her fear as best I could. She's in mortal danger just like everyone else and really hope the police can show up and arrest the bad guys. After quite some time, the cops do show up, a shootout starts and in the end, several people are dead. Cops, bad guys, security guards, even hostages are killed.

Then we skip to earlier that day. A guy wakes up alone in his apartment and sighes heavily. He's misrable, getting old and just want to sleep and not wake up again. (we later learns that he's in the sixties, his wife is dead and they don't have any kids). He puts on his security guard uniform and travesl to work at the local bank. I think you can see where this is going.

When the bankrobbery is finally over, the guy is dead. Skip to earlier this morning, and a woman wakes up in her own bed, kisses her husband good morning and all that. She puts on her police uniform, traveles to the police station and get ready for another boring day at work. It's a quiet place, so the last six months, she have arrested maybe ten people and stopped fifteen barfights. Not much, really. Then the alarm goes off, and she and her partner gets their weapons and go to the bank...

Finally, another guy wakes up this morning. He is feeling nervous, and know this is a big day. He had some trouble with gambling, and before he knew it, he owns a lot of money to the wrong people. The message is clear. Get the money by tomorrow, or don't get them at all... So what is he supposed to do? Get the money or die. That's his options. He realized the only thing he could do was talk to an old friend from his former life, and together they agree on a desperate solution for a desperate situation. Rob the bank. The guy really doesn't want to do it, but he knows it's either this or die. And besides, all he want is some money. Just quick in, get the money, quick out. That's all there is too it. No one has to get hurt.
And that's the main basics of his story. No one can get hurt. He doesn't want to do this, but he feel he has no choice. The woman who works there, the police man and security guard all believe the robbers are bad, but in truth, they are just desperate people looking for a desperte solution.

So, what do you think? The entire thing is just this, four parts of the same story. Five, if you add a civilian. I thought about it, but it could get too many sides of the story and be confusing. But that's up to you, if you choose to go with this. I would be happy if you add my name somewhere in there somewhere if you publish it, though.
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Old 08-14-2007, 11:53 AM   #2
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Reminded me a lot of the movie Crash. Not saying that's a good or a bad thing. But that's what I was thinking as I read this.
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Old 08-14-2007, 07:13 PM   #3
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Me too. The Mexican side, the Jewish side, the Black side, and of course... the White Woman side.
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Old 08-14-2007, 08:34 PM   #4
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It reminds me of the way Nick Hornby wrote A Long Way Down. The story is about four people who almost commited suicide, and each chapter is
"written" by one of the four main characters. Handled right, it works pretty well.

If you come back to this idea at any point in the future, I would read that book, just to see how Hornby handles it.

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Old 08-17-2007, 12:24 PM   #5
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You have a very interesting idea as in how the mechanics and technical aspects of the story will have to work together. Obviously, this would take a whole lot of revising and checking to make sure that the bank robbery scene(s) are all the same in each of the four versions. You will, however, have to juice up the story a hell of a lot because, honestly, you did not sell me on the story, just the technical aspect.
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Old 08-19-2007, 03:32 PM   #6
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This is just the basics of the story, and I put it here so anyone can grab it and write it for yourself. I would have written it myself if I had the time, but I have a few dozen other things going on right now and simply don't have the time.
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