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| File 13 Got something you were going to throw away, something that just didn't fit or work out the way you planned? Share it here. |
07-04-2007, 09:05 AM
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#1
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Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 4
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What do you think?
Well, in the past i have won awards for creative writing and such. i used to feel i was good at it. Anyway. Point being, i had a workshop kinda thing for QAGTC inc. With Anita Bell. She said that my writing was great, And i should continue to develop it. Just wondering what you guy's thing. I want your honest opinions, just so i have a wide range instead of just one authors.
Although it is only a small piece(like 3 sentences) i just want your feedback.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Brett Crowley
As the man walked past the shadowy grave of his brother, he broke into fitful rage. he remembered the scarlet sky and vivid shame he felt when teh sacraficial ceremony was complete. Once again, Jason, felt the malignant guilt of three years ago.
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Thanks Guys
EDIT: Ahh, woops, i realised i changed places just before i posted. Please move, thanks 
Last edited by c0ld_tr0jan : 07-04-2007 at 09:09 AM.
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07-04-2007, 09:10 AM
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#2
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Near London, England
Gender: Female
Posts: 374
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Well, I thought these were very good lines, but it's not really enough to comment on in detail. Sorry.
__________________
"And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free.
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me -
Tell them how I
Am defying gravity!"
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07-04-2007, 09:15 AM
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#3
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Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 4
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i wasn't after detail as such, just a general opinion
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07-04-2007, 09:15 AM
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#4
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Scribe
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Day after day, alone on a hill, keeping perfectly still.
Gender: Female
Posts: 88
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Quote:
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As the man walked past the shadowy grave of his brother, he broke into fitful rage. He remembered the scarlet sky and vivid shame he felt when the sacraficial ceremony was complete. Once again, Jason,(no comma) felt the malignant guilt of three years ago.
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That's pretty much it. There's not nearly enough to judge you as a writer. Feedback? Psht. You missed a cap.
o__o;;
Post up some more of anything, so we can really form an opinion of your writing.
My eyes are open,
Stea.
__________________
"Jog on, jog on,
the foot-path way,
And merrily hent the stile-a:
A merry-heart goes all the day,
your sad tires in a mile-a."
--Autolycus A Winter's Tale
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07-04-2007, 09:19 AM
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#5
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Near London, England
Gender: Female
Posts: 374
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Yes, I agree with Stea! Could you please post some more up? We'd all be happy to comment further on your writing with a little more imput!
__________________
"And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free.
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me -
Tell them how I
Am defying gravity!"
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07-04-2007, 09:28 AM
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#6
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Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 4
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Yeh, ok, as soon as i can, i will post more up. But it's 12:30 am atm, i was up for 38 hrs and have had about 8 hrs sleep scince then, dnt go into grammar to much atm 
Edit: maybe you guys aren't understanding what i want. I don't want to be judged as a writeror anything. Just basically. Do you think it is good. Should i carry on, all that kinda stuff..
Last edited by c0ld_tr0jan : 07-04-2007 at 09:37 AM.
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