Johnna

This is just something that, when I wrote it, I wished I could experience. It's a little weird, but I was going through an odd phase with my writing that had something to do with paganism and "connecting with the elements". Anyway.

I am sitting hip deep in soapy water in the bathtub in the bathroom with the green plastic shower curtain. The water drains from the tub, slowly uncovering my legs. I watch it disappear, leaving my legs wet with muzzy little drops.
This is not real water. This water has been processed, and distilled, and filled with chemicals, until it’s forgotten what it is. Life. The sea, the river, the rain, the clouds.
I need to feel real water, to have it engulf me.
I get out, and dry off, and get dressed. I make no noise as I pick up my purse and exit the house; my parents do not wake up.
I live in a loft in the middle of downtown L.A. I am surrounded by concrete, and potted trees, and harrowed people. Humans. Normally I love the city, being together with everyone who is akin to my spirit. But not tonight.
Tonight I feel suppressed.
I walk down the street, smiling and nodding at the older men who call out greetings to the pretty little white girl.
The number 33 bus takes an hour to reach Santa Monica. I get off and head for the pier.
I remove my shoes as soon as I feel sand under them. My toes wiggle in the soft grains.
The water next to the SaMo pier is hardly more fitting than that of my bathtub. I walk down the beach, towards Venice, my bare feet making small indentations in the sand that are washed away by the surf.
It is dark, with no moon tonight. I am guided by the water, the waves splashing now around my ankles, now around my knees.
I stop when the lights of the pier are a long way behind me. Dropping my shoes, I breathe in the air, filled with the smell of salt.
My clothes are gone in a breath; I am left skyclad, shivering as the air caresses my body. I know somehow that no one will see me, not tonight.
I wade out into the darkness. I am not afraid. I am never afraid of the ocean; it is my brother.
I am standing hip deep in the ocean in the city with so many spirits akin to mine. I drop to my knees; the water engulfs me to the neck. I submerge my head and think of nothing. I am not a girl. I am a piece of this earth. I am a part of the ocean. I am a single drop, a single wave. I am water.

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Mairi

Why did you put this in File 13? This is really good, in my opinion. You made me think about what we are missing when we forget to stop and really live. (And you made me want to go skinny-dipping in the ocean, lol.) I would keep this around--it could even be a good start to a novel, for instance.

Mairi

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"Logic will get you from A to B, Imagination will take you everywhere." ~Albert Einstein

Johnna

Wow, you think so? I put it in File 13 because it's been sitting on my computer for months doing nothing; I write tons of little, as I call them, "Los Angeles starts" (meaning things I'd like to do around here that I never do). Maybe I will do something with it. Thanks.

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Funwriter

This is nice, you do need to edit and separate the paragraphs though to make it easier to read.

This is a nice start, keep at it. Break it up and make it easy and smooth.

Good one.

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FW

TheNextOne

I thought it was exceptionally easy to read. Also well done. I don't know what Funwriter is talking about, everything was already in nice size bites. I agree Mairi that what you have is good and doesn't necessarily belong in File 13.

I too specialize in shorts and File 13's. I guess they all have potential when you boil it all down.

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Some things I've written

Things you probably shouldn't say
Forum Threads and Dreams
Carnival Loss

Johnna

Thank you all for your comments. Since I got positive feedback for this, I've actually been writing a story around it! It's rough because it's not my usual style of writing, but if anyone is interested, I could post it.

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Mairi

I'd love to see it if you do! Sometimes a good story can come from a place you didn't expect. And it can be a fun to write something that is a new challenge for you.

That said, don't write it unless it still speaks to you though. That's what makes writing really shine--the author's passion driving the pen (Or keyboard? Dictation device? Tablet PC? PDA? Whatever implement you use to write.)

I'm curious to see what you come up with!

Mairi

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"Logic will get you from A to B, Imagination will take you everywhere." ~Albert Einstein

Johnna

Actually, I have quite a bit written already, but it took me in a completely different direction than what I thought. I'm fairly pleased with it though, so I'll probably post it in the next day or two. Thanks again.

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