Hunter's Trees - WritingForums.com - Writing Forums, Writing Challenges, Critiques and Help for Writers

Mortar&Pestle · 06-26-2007, 06:11 PM

This series would have been about 5 stories long, with each story being about 5 chapters long. I knew what I wanted to do with the story, but as I've mentioned in another post, I ran into the CSI effect. I don't know how detectives solve cases. I don't know how long it takes a crime lab to get evidence. Et cetera, et cetera. The further I got, the more frustrated I got. I've only posted the first 2 chapters, cause it was too long to post the 3rd. I stopped in the middle of the 3rd chapter. I will post the 3rd chapter if you are interested.

If you think this is something worth continueing, and/or you have advice on how to continue a mystery serial, then I will continue it. If you just want to know the end, and what I planned for the large story arc, I can PM it to you. I still may clean it up and finish the story.

Chapter One – Three Words
The swooping green lines defied the usual tight swirls that defined the leaves of Hunter’s trees. Every one of his drawings had a tree of some sort, and this one was a special one. Its style had not been repeated on any other of Hunter’s drawings. These branches and leaves made Tom think of a weeping willow. Tom was Hunter’s father, and enjoyed his son’s work, although his reasons were more than what many people would think. Glancing at the drawing, some toy cars, a short man or child, a building, and a few other things, he hung the drawing back up on his wall above his desk. “Hunter – Age 2”, it said. His art was so advanced for his age at the time. Strange enough though, 6 now, it has not improved.

Tom looked down at his busy desk trying to find a starting point. “Folder, folder, folder” Tom thought, as he pushed pictures and papers aside. “Aha.” Tom had 2 folders on his desk for every job. One folder was the current case; the other was a collection of the ones he had solved. Opening the current case folder, he began his progress of his search for three words. After about 19 cases, Tom felt that he had honed in on his skill of finding the three most effective words. There is only one case, unsolved, that he has never known his three words. He hasn’t even seen the crime for that matter. Tom looked back at the drawing above his desk. “Maybe it’s just art.” Tom thought, but deep down he knew that wasn’t the case. Tom began to look at the report again. Finding what he was looking for and with a sigh of discouragement, Tom wrote down his first word. “Maple”

The first word was always the easiest. He realized after only 3 cases that a tree was important. Unfortunately common items, like a Maple in Massachusetts, don’t produce as good of a result as something unique like an American Elm. Tom continued his word search, and decided to look at some of the crime scene photos. Looking at the photos, Tom felt worried. During each case, Tom worried about what his son saw when he drew his pictures. He has never drawn anything too violent. The only case that comes to mind, Hunter had drawn a black dog with a red scribble near the neck. Tom had found out that the dog was one that had its throat cut. His wife remembered the dog very well, and it was almost the last thing Hunter drew for Tom. Every time Hunter would draw, his composure was always calm. Tom believed, although with some doubt, that his son was oblivious to the crimes.

Case # 110906 was a strange one. Two dead bodies, husband and wife, both shot in the head. The deed was done in the bedroom, but the bodies were found at the dinner table. Another strange thing was the table was set with plates. It was like the couple was in the middle of eating dinner before they were shot. “That’s a good one.” Tom said to himself, and wrote his second word down. “Dinner” When Tom got his first case as a detective, he cringed before opening the folder. He dreaded seeing the crime photos. As a cop, his experiences with death were actually few and far between. Now, as a detective, looking at crimes is a breeze, though he exchanged his dread of crime photos with the dread of first laying eyes on his sons work. He worried that one day Hunter would draw the most disturbing picture, and if he ever did, he would never forgive himself. Elizabeth, his wife, would kill him. This fear is something that he will probably never get used to.

Tom wouldn’t get any information from forensics till tomorrow, so he decided word number 3 would be from the photos of where the crime took place. He sorted the photos between the bedroom and dining room, and then flipped through the bedroom photos. “Damn, not much to go on here.” Tom thought. The pictures were almost all the same, just from different angles. “Wait a minute. What’s this?” Tom stopped on a photo of the alarm clock. The time showed 12:00, but he remembered the report said the clock was flashing. Tom just figured the power went out. He then remembered the clock in the kitchen had not reset. “Someone must have unplugged it recently”, he thought. There was a smudge of blood on the front, right side of the clock. The report also said forensics was unable to get a fingerprint from it. Flipping through the photos again, Tom finally decided on his third word. “Clock”

Tom pushed his sleeve aside and looked at his watch "6:15. Damn. I'm late." He grabbed the phone and dialed.
"Hello?"
"Hi honey, it's me."
"You're late"
"I know. I know. Listen. Can I talk to Hunts?"
"It's his movie time. You know that."
"I know. Ok."
"Are you on a case?"
Tom sighed, "Yeah."
"Let me get a pen. I don't know how much longer we can do this. I feel bad, you know?"
Tom closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Yeah, me too hon. He's saving lives though. Catching the bad guys." Tom said the last bit with a bit of humor.
"Yeah, but that's your job. We can't do this forever. It's not fair to Hunter."
"I know. Let’s...let’s just get this one out of the way."
"Ok. Three words?"
"Yeah, um. Maple, Dinner, and Clock. Get that?"
"Yeah. Maple, dinner, and clock. I'll see you in a bit."
"Ok. I love you."
"I love you too, bye."

Tom straightened up the files and photos, and stuck them in his briefcase. He stood up, and did a mental check to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything and headed for the door. Before walking out, Tom stopped. He took another look at Hunter's drawing on the wall. "It's going to be ok." Tom uttered under his breathe, and walked out the door.

Chapter Two – Sunrise Sunset
Tom went over the case in his head as he drove home. The Whitakers. Family of three. Susan, the wife, stayed at home while the father worked. The notes he and his temp wrote up revealed Susan to be a possible online gambler. A computer desk in one of the rooms was covered with cigarettes, and the occasional ‘5 Tokens Free’ mail flyers. Tom would know more after forensics have examined the contents of the computer. Buster, the husband, worked at a local carpet depot. His friend and coworker Red was the one that called in. According to Red, Buster had left work as usual the evening before, but didn’t show up the next day. Buster rarely missed a day of work, and if he did, Red was sure that he would have at least called in. After work, Red went by the house to make sure everything was ok. Red said he looked in the windows and saw them at the dinner table. He banged on the windows, but Susan and Buster did not respond. That’s when he called 911.

After questioning Red, Tom was told that the Whitakers had probably been murdered the night before Red found them. From the pictures in the house, they knew of a son. Red said his name was Mike, 36 and still living at home. Buster had said Mike was at some convention. Red wasn’t sure as he didn’t understand. “Something about comics or Star Trek.” Tom remembered going to a few Sci-Fi conventions when he was younger. He had a feeling that Mike went to a similar one. Tom had requested a cop at the address till the son returned. He had his temp check to see if he could find out what conventions were going on at the time. Tom wasn’t sure when Mike left, or when he’d be coming back. Tom’s ringing cell phone brought him back to the present.

Tom answered the phone, “Hello?”
“Hey budro, long time no see!”
“Peter?! Where the hell have you been? I haven’t heard from you since the trial. Figured you were upset with me or something.”

Tom was happy to hear from Peter. Peter was his old partner, and lost his job after a lengthy IA investigation. During the trial of a man accused of killing his coworkers, evidence that was to be used to clear the killers name was found out to be planted evidence. This is what the prosecutors believed, that is. In the final days, Edward Vann, was sentenced to life in prison for the deaths of 7 of his coworkers. To this day, Edward has preached his innocence. For reasons Tom can’t explain, the plant fell on Peter. Walking through that night over and over again in his head, all signs pointed to Peter, but Tom could not except that he really did it. Since no solid evidence linked Peter to the plant, he was just encouraged to leave the force.

“Nah. I just have been busy. I’m down here in Virginia now.”
“You’re kidding. Are you back to blue? I’m still with BPD.” Tom shook his head in disbelief.
“Nope. Walked away from that whole thing. Why work for a team that doesn’t even trust their own. I got a business of my own now.”
“Pete. I told it like it was. The evidence was there. I don’t believe that you did it, but it was there.”
“Don’t worry about it Tom. I wasn’t talking about you. You did your job. How are the wife and kid?”
“They are doing great. Hunter is growing up. Learning to be independent. Elizabeth is wonderful. You got a special someone?”
“Nah. I’m still going solo. Is Hunter still your little detective?”
“Unfortunately yes. I don’t know. I think he’s ok, but Liz thinks differently. I’ll do whatever she asks though. She knows what’s best. So what’s this about your own business?” Tom was glad to change the subject. Tom didn’t know what he was feeling right now. Was it guilt? Is that why he didn’t like talking about Hunter’s ability? Was it because he wants to keep it secret?
“Yeah, I make things. Crafts. Foods. You know…crap. I make crap. HAHA. You know those fairs you and your wife go to. Let’s just say I’m one of those guys.”
“Food? I didn’t know you could cook. Are you sure you aren’t seeing someone?” Tom laughed.
“Well, I’m not seeing her. She’s my coworker. I share the business with her. She’s nice, but 10 years my younger.”
“Big deal Pete. Love is love.” Tom pulled into his driveway, and put his car in park. “Hey Pete. I just pulled up in my driveway. I’ve got to go do the family thing. Can you give me a call back around 10-11?”
“Sure. Tell the family I said Hello.”
Tom smiled, “Will do? Hey, Pete. What’s the name of your business?”
“Knick Knacks, Candy, Snacks”
Tom laughed again, “I’ll talk to you soon Pete.”
“Alright. See ya.”

Tom grabbed his papers and headed for the door. Even with hands full, Tom was able to get his keys and unlock the door. Bob the Builder was waiting for him inside. “Hey!!! If it isn’t Bob the Builder!” Hunter gave his dad some joyful hums. Hunter rarely shows emotion in his face. He does one thing to show 3 emotions. He hums when he’s happy, he hums when he’s irritated, and he hums when he’s upset. His hums are more of an “M” sound, and so he “Mmmms” more than really “Hhhmms.” His upset hums are more straining, so Tom and Elizabeth know when he’s in need. “Hunter is Bob the Builder!” “Are going to go trick or treating soon?” Tom put his work on the table by the door and went to hug Hunter. The two walked into the kitchen where Elizabeth was heating up Tom’s dinner. Tom sat Hunter down at the dining room table, and pulled the Hungry Caterpillar from the bookshelf. Tom sat down next to Hunter and began to read.

Hunter has a collection of books in the kitchen. He reads while his mom eats her breakfast. In the morning it’s Auburn’s Field Guide for Trees. In the evening it’s The Hungry Caterpillar. After Hunter eats his cereal, he flips through the book to look at the different trees. Elizabeth would frequently read the tree he is looking at, and give the brief descriptions. Tom finished reading the book just as Elizabeth set his dinner on the table. “Guess who called me today?” Tom asked his wife.

“Peter Vega?” his wife answered. “How’d you know?” Tom asked puzzled. “I saw his name on the caller ID. Hunter and I were at the park. How is he doing?” Tom told her about Pete’s new job and his possible special someone. Elizabeth laughed at that. During the remainder of the night Elizabeth and Tom put Hunter in bed, and they went to bed themselves to relax. Tom, awaiting Pete’s phone call, and Elizabeth, watching the evening news.

Elizabeth reminded Tom that Halloween was in a little more than a week. Tom had let Elizabeth make the final plans and he would follow her lead. “So. Halloween.” Elizabeth began. “Yes?” Tom answered. “We are going to hit friends and family first and then head to the festival.” Elizabeth concluded. “Do you think Hunter is ready?” Tom asked. Elizabeth paused in thought, “I think so. He seems to be doing ok with dressing up everyday. He’s comfortable with going to select places, and I’ve talked a lot about dressing up and getting candy for Halloween for the past week. I think he’s ready.” “Great. Now all you have to do is plan for Thanksgiving and Christmas.” Tom said jokingly. Elizabeth glared at him as Tom smirked. Then something on the television caught his eye.

“Edward Vann. Released from Prison.”