With eyes that held you. - Writers Forum

saintoflight · 04-17-2007, 11:19 PM

A short short story. Restrictions were maximum word limit 50, no minimum.

Every time I walked past his room the nurses would be saying, ‘If you keep pressing the button for no reason, one day we won’t come”. At this he’d turn and wink at me with eyes that held you. One day I walked past, his room was empty.

48 words.

September · 04-18-2007, 08:54 PM

Wow, that's actually pretty cool. Intriguing. Although that could just be because I was very slow reading this and didn't quite catch what was going on, I thought there was some kind of sci fi thing happening. XP Too bad it could only be 50 words. I'm assumng this is here because, well, you're done with it but I think you could actually develop into a really great short sci fi story, if only a hundred, two hundred words or so.

saintoflight · 04-19-2007, 12:48 AM

Ha! Is how I respond to your comment and I mean no disrespect. It's supposed to be in set in a hospitable. It is taken from my own experience and developed. You've got me thinking now, I suppose you could interpret it in to a sci-fi genre hey. You're idea is seeming more and more doable. I just might you know. I just might try my hand at sci-fi. I've never done it before. Hmmm, you certainly have me thinking now. Tanks for the comment.

ratty_bjorn · 04-21-2007, 07:12 AM

That... was very, very good. I love little story blips.

saintoflight · 04-21-2007, 09:32 PM

thanks