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File 13 Got something you were going to throw away, something that just didn't fit or work out the way you planned? Share it here.

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Old 10-24-2006, 03:32 PM   #1
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My Sayings.

(disc) some of these maybe offensive(disc)This was just part of a comedy book I was writing but it didn't work out.
I have a big ste of these so Ill post these everday hopefully.

I love animals, they taste great.

EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
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Old 10-25-2006, 08:33 PM   #2
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Talking

Cool!I really like your quotes.I think I've seen one on a avatar once .I'm not sure though.*grabs piece of paper to remember all the wonderful phrases.*
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Old 11-20-2006, 05:09 PM   #3
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Very clever! You should do something with your knack for this. If you have a good delivery, I suggest you work up a standup comic act and try some of the amatuer nights at local comedy clubs.
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