Allen907

This is something i don't think i'll use in what i'm hoping will be my first novel. My problem with it is that it led off on a path i didn't want things to go but someone else might like or it might inspire something.
Oh, the character's names have been pulled out and replaced with 1st and 2nd. This is done to protect the innocent, the guilty and those who haven't been copyrighted.
Anyways, Cheers.

2nd Character- “Come with me I where we can go where we won’t be followed.” 1st Character stands up with her and holds her hand. “It’ll be wonderful 1st Character, we’re not longer alone anymore.” She looks to the horizon and then together they walk out of the raining creation and into another darkened world.
1st Character looks around at the towers that stretch high into the night sky, but as he looks up he sees that the tops have been sheered off and most of them are pitted with damage. Then in the sky he notices that its just dark with no stars yet he sees to clouds. “This isn’t Earth is it?”
2nd Character watching his features and walking him to a corner café- “No, we’re in the realm of the dead. This is the only city I know of but I think that there are many more.”
1st Character watches her and gets a strange floating feeling of consciousness- “There are cities out there, this goes on forever.”
2nd Character nods- “I want to show you the view.” They enter the building after passing through the strange café where others are sitting and others are serving.
1st Character doesn’t feel anything but the strangeness not fear and not understanding. Silently he follows 2nd Character up the stairs very careful not to let go of her hand. The journey takes some time but when they reach the top the view makes 1st Character's fright reappear. Outstretched below him as far as he can see is a city. Far away lightning eluminates more towers in the very far distance. “2nd Character I don’t like this. This can’t be all there is of death.”
2nd Character looks to him- “Do not dispare. I don’t like this place either.”
1st Character looking at the souls below him- “There all dead, but we aren’t. We can think, we can talk, they aren’t.”
2nd Character- “No they aren’t, they just smile.”
1st Character’s face turns from fright to pain and then anger- “They took my life. They took my world.” Near a whisper, “Bastards.”
2nd Character- “Your world is still there, do you want to go back?”
1st Character turns to her- “Can we?” She nods and then gripping his hand tightly she steps over the crumbled wall onto thin air. 1st Character reacts to pull her back but she turns and smiles at him as she stands there on absolutely nothing. He then follows her and finds that he can walk anywhere. They stand there in the middle of the street hundreds of feet up and 1st Character feels no fright, nothing of his fear of heights.
2nd Character smiles at him and then all of a sudden they both fall. It isn’t a long fall and they both land quickly upon a cobbled street. 1st Character can’t help but smile at that rush. Giggling softly, “I love doing that, much better than running through walls.”
1st Character looks around and recognizes the features of the buildings- “This is outside my apartment. Can we go in?”
2nd Character looking around- “Nobodies paying attention to us, I don’t think they can see us.” 1st Character ventures to the door and opens it then holding 2nd Character's hand he walks inside and looks up the stairs. “My room mate is gone, he took a trip somewhere.” He walks up the stairs and 2nd Character follows him. Turning at the landing he reaches for the knob of the closest door and turns it. Its locked and 1st Character fubles around himself for his key but then takes in his appearance and his clothes disappear. Feeling embarrassment for a slight second he calls back the memory of his clothes and once again he is dressed.
2nd Character- “You have to become aware of everything. Your clothes, your hair even your face or you’ll look like nothing.”

Rob

This has more room for improvement than most writing that I've read, so much room, in fact, that the echo fades before it reaches me. But you know, writing is what it's all about, and for most of us we should stop worrying about the quality and just write and see where that takes us, and take pleasure in the mere act of writing. The point is, writers write. It's as natural as farting in the bath. In time, with the application of intelligence, the writing will improve, and when you reach that point you can look back and say, look, this is where I started, and look at me now.

Thanks for posting.

Cheers,
Kathryn

Allen907

Thanks for the kind words Omnius.
Yah this bit can be expanded to very large proportions, my problem was that it went away from where i wanted it to go. Perhaps in time i shall return to this and let it expand.

Cheers.

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Cheers