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File 13 Got something you were going to throw away, something that just didn't fit or work out the way you planned? Share it here.

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Old 03-22-2006, 08:48 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 121
KeineAngst is on a distinguished road
Post Louise all over?

3I wrote this when i was listening to music, and Louise by Clan of Xymox came on, and then i realised i had about 12 songs named Louise, i really dont know why. Didint turn out great though, so ill put it here i guess...

Louise

Louise – with you I swim,
Naked
In an ever flowing torrent of memories

Louise I need your eyes
For swimming and
Your ayes
For living

With myself; the world is whole
And dreary
Your iridescent soul wipes away the lackluster of society forever

Louise where did you go?
Louise you are the battery which
Drives,
My,
beings,
grandfather,
clock.

Lousie let me link
Lazily lounging arms
Lying by you
I lament
The little of life that lacks
Louise.
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Old 03-27-2006, 04:09 PM   #2
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Location: San Antonio, TX
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,164
cacafire is on a distinguished road
Crap. Crap,crap,crap,crap. CRAP. *For those of you who take offense at this severe breach of manners, I apologize.*

Crapppity, crap crap!

By the way, crap.
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Critique my pieces, and I'll gladly return the favor: Mita of the sky: II, Gloving_Country, Shared Qualms(check this one out!), Gloving country-II, , Capoeira, Father and Son, Silence Come, The Lad I Knew
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Old 03-27-2006, 10:24 PM   #3
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KeineAngst is on a distinguished road
lol thanks for the constructive criticism, but yeah, its in here cause its crap 3
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