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Love
I wrote this for something, then just couldn't figure out what to do with it, so i didn't bother to trim it up or anything.
Love is a crazy emotion. It can make you feel on top of the world one day, and rock bottom the next. The latter has been what it has chosen for me most of the time. They say it is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all. I used to not agree with that. When love decides to hurt you it is not a slap on the wrist, it’s a knife in the chest that you know will never go away. It makes you cry till you cant breathe and mourn every happy memory you had while love was still on your side. I used to think this was the worst feeling in the world. I remember thinking that nothing could hurt as worse as that sting of knowing that the love you shared with someone is no longer there. Now I know something that rivals the mean side of love. The knowledge that love slipped through your fingers before you could grab hold of it. Knowing it’s your fault that love never got a chance, and knowing if you have just grabbed it, it might have been beautiful. Finding out you waited too long and expected someone to stand around for you. Seeing that person every day and being as close as you can to them without that one extra step. One step and you know that both of you would be happy. One step and this pain and doubt and anger at yourself could finally end. Just one step. But that step doesn’t come. No matter how hard you wish, no matter how much you want it. That step is gone forever. So you put on a smile, and face the world every day. You bite your tongue whenever the source of your longing is around. Bite your tongue till it bleeds so that you don’t say the one thing that they don’t want to hear because they have moved on and you haven’t. So you try to move on. Try not to think about it. But deep inside you have hope that one day that step comes and you can finally be happy after an age of sadness. That is the cause of your pain. If you could just stomp out that hope then you could live with yourself. You could just say it was bad timing, or that you two are better just friends. But hope doesn’t go away easily. So you suffer. One day the hope might breathe its last breath, but that day is too far down the road for anyone to see. Don’t let a chance for happiness slip through your fingers. You will have no one to blame but yourself, and blame yourself you will. Happiness only comes around a couple times in your life. Jump at the chance when you can. I hope I have learned this lesson, so that I never have to hate myself this much again.
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"I read a pamphlet last night! It didn't go so well, did it? So, who has egg on their face? Brendon or Coach McGuirk? Coach McGuirk!" - Home Movies
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