Raging_Hopeful

I'm working on a synopsis for my novel, The Blood Fields of Eden, and I'm just looking for feedback. This is supposed to be a VERY brief summary. What do you think? Is it interesting?

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Earth was poisoned and everyone was surprised when she reacted, boiling with fury and melting away entire coastlines, along with millions of lives. The world was Changing, the efforts of conservations too little and far too late, and only when the Earth righted our many wrongs, did she return to her cosmic slumber, allowing her people to scrape out survival in the aftermath.

500 years after The Change.

Five Supercities are all that remain, remnants of the life that flourished before The Change; the only relics of technology and medicine jealously coveted within the walls. Outside the city walls, the rest of the world lives on in poverty, dictated by a barter marketplace and a slave driven economy. Sex slaves fill the world as commonly as pennies once filled the pockets of Old World citizens, the basis for trade and wealth in an otherwise starving world.

The Old World is gone.
The New World is just beginning.

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Spaztikfingers

Yep, I'm interested and I like it. I like how you make Earth pissed and vengeful...and that it's all our fault. I think you should make it even more discriminating towards us. Instead of saying "Earth was poisoned" blame us whole heartedly because we did. Say "we poisoned her". I think by saying 'earth was poisoned' it softens things and tends to let blame trickle around us instead of hit each of us. The rest of that line kicks us in the ass so make it complete.

Keep writing ...and I'll keep looking.
take care,
Spaz

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...ideas only cease when the fear of acknowledging them grows to strong
...oh, and when I miss dinner

The Thing

Sounds fantastic. Quite a few good idea in that. The idea of the rich living in comfort in their supercities while the poor scavange a living on the outside was a little reminiscent of Land of the Dead, but it's a great idea on its own terms. I'd like to read this if you have anything written.

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Nero's Mistress

Magic Dust Productions

Grey Dog Software

Raging_Hopeful

Spaz you have a good point and I think you're right. Since it is our fault, might as well illustrate that 100% eh? Thanks so much for your feedback and Thing, I'm certainly glad you liked this.

If you're interested in viewing works from this novel, the first four chapters can be found in the Critique and Advice thread under Blood Fields of Eden (BFoE). Let me know what you think!

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