first thing i've written... - WritingForums.com - Writing Forums, Writing Challenges, Critiques and Help for Writers

jaworski · 11-24-2005, 07:31 AM

in about a month or two and i'm not really sure if its worth continuing - i'm not really sure if i'm any good at poetry or if what i write is poetry (this is pretty standard though) as well so i guess my frame of mind isn't so great atm.

"Falling up a flight of stairs
As I walk through on a dare
To catch your past
Trip on some winter shoes,
Boring yet always knew
To my snowed-in feet

I'm fashioned out of place"

i think it sounds more like a middle paragraph.

richie · 11-26-2005, 07:22 PM

It is free poetry (It doesn't necessarily have rhymes or a closed structure), and it does sound like a middle paraghaph.
Well, I wouldn't throw it away, though it sure needs to be worked on. I think it looses a bit its coherency from the middle to the end.
Work on it and re-post in the poetry forum. I would like to see it.
Hope I helped.