moved - Writers Forum

FoggyImagination · 01-15-2005, 01:51 AM

Moved to Fiction

river-wind · 01-17-2005, 05:01 PM

what realy interests me is the idea that someone might be simply sitting down one day, writing, and something of this sort come out.

While the story itself is not as grabbing as it could be, the questions that you most likely asked while you were writing it are fascinating. What would being the idea for the subject up in you? Why did you react to the writing as much as you did? How did writing it change you, if at all?

How might you bring yourself into this story, as in "Adaptation"?

--edit--oops, got the title confused w/ the forum name :p --edit---

OT: what do you mean when you say "residents"? Do you work with troubled youth?

Queasy Dillo · 01-17-2005, 05:22 PM

I found this intriguing in a sad, car-wreck fascination kind of way. You've done a fine job of capturing a heartbreaking occurence. I'm assuming this is a flashback, regarding that last paragraph. Of course this always leaves you the option of adding more...which I would also read.

Nicely done.

Dillo

FoggyImagination · 01-19-2005, 10:10 PM

River-
I worked for two years at a theraputic detention center for juveniles and I will hopefully be going back in less than a month. I loved my job and really connected with my girls there, and learned so much. It used to really shock me, some of the stories they shared with me, the things they've been through. And you know, most of them were trouble-makers, druggies, fighters, whatever...but they weren't born that way. Something made them that way. I was always trying to find out why.
You can't really help someone if you don't know what the problem is, what they need from you, how they feel.
This is just a beginning for something much deeper, much bigger. Its inspired by many courageous girls although its not based on any particular story.

I think that answers your first 2 questions and the last one. As to how writing it changed me. Well, this and the rest that I've been working on has helped me really step into their world and understand some of the reasons for their seemingly illogical behavior.

I've seen many kids like this slip through the system, overlooked while their lives continued to go downhill. People don't notice that they're in trouble until they're pointing fingers and saying "That kid's messed up." Or "Someone needs to do something about that troublemaker." They're aren't any "bad kids". People need to think why they do as they do.

Dillo-
Thanks, its not all car-wreck nor all sad. I've been working on it and I might post some more. I don't think its morbid or depressing exactly, just...sugar-free.

Thanks for reading and commenting guys.

FoggyImagination · 01-26-2005, 12:21 PM

moved

Queasy Dillo · 01-26-2005, 12:59 PM

Tragic hero/heroines are interesting when done right, and you're still on top of things so far. The text and dialogue balance out well (most people tend to hit their readers with a delgue of conversation, which I don't like)

My only suggestion would be changing the St. Elsmly's bit. Somehow I just can't pronounce that word the same way twice, and that tends to distract.

But that's a minor gripe.

FoggyImagination · 01-26-2005, 09:35 PM

Thanks Dillo,

I wasn't overly attached to St Elmsly either...I could do better. Oh yeah and re-reading it for the tenth time...I finally noticed that it made it even worse that I didn't even spell it right...and I MADE IT UP. Arg.

What about the voice...I know it changed a little at the end of the second post...I think when I rewrite I might try to go more with that. It just sounds more fourteen. I'm a little frustrated with it, but its my first real attempt at a first person thing so I guess I'm learning.

Thanks again.

FoggyImagination · 02-01-2005, 09:40 PM

moved

Queasy Dillo · 02-01-2005, 09:47 PM

Still got it. Nothing jumps out that needs correcting, and the character's background is progressing nicely. Congratulations on avoiding the dreaded info dump.

Very good. Keep going.

FoggyImagination · 02-01-2005, 09:48 PM

Well, I'm not sure if you read it while I will still trying to work out my brain-fart and get it all on there and right...or after.

But...

Its not nearly the end...

Queasy Dillo · 02-01-2005, 09:50 PM

Got it now. Nice conclusion.

FoggyImagination · 02-01-2005, 09:52 PM

Thanks...you think I should leave it here or move it over to fiction?

Considering you're really the only one reading it, I'm not sure if its worth it to figure out how to move it over...I'm a little technically challenged.

Queasy Dillo · 02-01-2005, 09:53 PM

Also...

Would suggest you move this into Fiction, as it can be made into something more than a dead-end project.

Look forward to reading it from there.

FoggyImagination · 02-01-2005, 09:54 PM

Er, and I would do that by....?

Queasy Dillo · 02-01-2005, 09:58 PM

Copy what you have here, post it again in Fiction, then come back and clear what's posted in File 13. No need to delete the thread or anything, just the redundant story parts.

Dillo