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Astro
Astroscope for the Irish
Aries (March 21- April 20) - The end of the rainbow does not hold a pot of gold for you today. Expect great loss of gold and a possible house burglary.
Taurus (April 21- May 21) - There is a Blarney Stone in your future. It will be beating you over the head for the entire day. Pack an extra aspirin.
Gemini (May 22- June 21) - Over the green green hills of Ireland, bad news will come your way. Either you mother has just died or your sister just eloped with that sleazy guy from the pub that never picks up the bill. Be sure to bring some tissues were ever you go.
Cancer (June 22- July 23) - Good news will be coming from the doctor today. You are sterile. Hey, it’s good news for the next generation, you lazy drunken’ bastard.
Leo (July 24- August 23) - Go back to bed; today will not be worth it. Always have a 10 box of "Johnny Blue" on you.
Virgo (August 24 – September 23) - Today will be bleedin' deadly. I’m sure you will fun with the new bird at the office. You know you always do.
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