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File 13 Got something you were going to throw away, something that just didn't fit or work out the way you planned? Share it here.

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Old 07-30-2004, 03:59 PM   #1
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Trith's village

Just something old I ran into. . .

--

Trith’s eyes grew moist with sorrow as he surveyed the charred ruins of his old village. The fire had devoured it whole; of the place he had once called home, nothing remained of the welcoming warmth and laughter but piles of burnt lumber.

And bodies.

His stomach turned at the awful, stinging stench that wafted up from the wreckage. The thick, acrid odors of blood, smoke and burnt flesh caught in his throat like warm syrup, stinging his skin and eyes. He gagged.

Coughing and squinting in the smoke, Trith stepped around the bodies nervously. They were sickening to look upon; it was terrible to imagine that these pathetic, smoking lumps of black charcoal were ever real people. It was ridiculous, but Trith felt as though their featureless faces were staring at him accusingly. He had left the village, abandoned them; they who had raised him and cared for him and provided a cheerful environment for him to grow up in—

He shook the thoughts from his mind. He could not have stopped this fate if he had stayed, he could not even have softened it. He would simply have added another smoldering body to the scene today.

The fire had savaged the bodies to the point of unrecognition, but nevertheless, Trith did not examine them any closer for fear that he would find a locket, chain, dagger, or other possession that would identify them as someone he had once known. Except for the sickly throbbing of his temples and the horrid sizzling of bodies, the place was as silent as a tomb, quite unlike the warm combination of children’s laughter and birdsong he remembered.

Then he remembered why he had come.

Trith pushed aside his regrets with great effort, willing his mind to focus on his task at hand. Emotion inhibits progression, he told himself sternly, echoing his former master’s words. He was here on official business. It was no time for personal thoughts.

--

Comment if you like.
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“No.” We walked a bit in silence and then the Fool said quietly, “Fitz, home is people. Not a place. If you go back there after the people are gone, then all you can see it what is not there anymore.”
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Old 08-04-2004, 11:03 PM   #2
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How did this end up in File 13.?I think this could go somewhere very interesting. I have never seen the aftermath of a fire described in such morbidly fascinating detail.

My only problem is the refrence to mixture of birdsong and children's laughter, but if you want it to be that cliche'd and ideilic in his memory, I can't argue against it.
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Old 08-05-2004, 12:07 AM   #3
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Thanks! Come to think of it, yeah, birdsong and children's laughter is a bit cliche-ish. . . I'll have to change that. . .
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“No.” We walked a bit in silence and then the Fool said quietly, “Fitz, home is people. Not a place. If you go back there after the people are gone, then all you can see it what is not there anymore.”
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Old 08-11-2004, 12:51 AM   #4
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Very vivid imagery here. It makes me wonder what business brought Trith back to his village ...
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Old 08-11-2004, 03:30 PM   #5
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Thanks. When I wrote it, I was thinking that he was investigating it on some royal orders or something like that (the genre was supposed to be fantasy), but it just happened to be his own village.
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“No.” We walked a bit in silence and then the Fool said quietly, “Fitz, home is people. Not a place. If you go back there after the people are gone, then all you can see it what is not there anymore.”
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