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| File 13 Got something you were going to throw away, something that just didn't fit or work out the way you planned? Share it here. |
10-11-2003, 12:45 PM
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#1
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Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New York
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,210
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All in a days work
Clean up the mess, make sure you put everything back the way it was. Watch what your doing, your going to knock that table over.. What a bunth of mother sucking buttholes, whatever happened to good old american pride. Stop playing around with that body and for gods sake make sure you clean up that blood in the bathroom..I'm getting to old for this crap, who bloody hell hired these guys. Clean cuts! Clean cuts! How many times do I have to tell you lazy slobs, long and quick strokes cut at the mid point between the joints, makes for less blood, easier maneuverability for slicing and easier disposability of unwanted parts. Do I have to do this myself, cause if I do, I’ll cut both of you up as well, Damn I'm going to be late for dinner, Angies going to be so pissed. I better get her some flowers on the way home that always seems to do the trick. Hurry up, let’s wrap this up, were not being paid for looking dumb. Opening day is tomorrow; make sure that everything is in its place, presentation and placement are the keys to success. Don’t forget to cut me a prime slice for my dinner tonight.
Note. I have no idea what this is. I was trying to write a dark little piece but I I just got stuck and left it alone for the heap.
__________________
Nature weeps, the devil sings
at man’s greed and pride
and what it brings
Just lots of useless
little things…
God is Dead; He died yesterday from Nothing...
http://theoddvillepress.com
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10-11-2003, 01:16 PM
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#2
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Profound Writer
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Canada
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,362
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Well, rcallaci, I would say this character is opening up a meat shop, or he is one hell of a sadistic person. Go with the sadistic darkness, maybe you will come up with a diobolical horror story.
I was just thinking, how's this.
The man is selling human meat to an alien public, ha.
Kimberly
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10-11-2003, 06:12 PM
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#3
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,002
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There ya go... pretty funny Bob. It is like one of those trun around things. Like Kim said, it could either be a meat shop or a murder scene(cannibal)!
__________________
~Steven-Denmark~
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"Remember Forever and Never Forget"
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"You're never too old for Rock'N'Roll, because it's in your heart and in your soul."
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10-17-2003, 02:31 AM
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#4
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: not actually IN mumsville... uk really!
Posts: 1,633
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sounds like....
quintin tarrentino!
very well writen (do i ever spell that right?) i like blood
write more!
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10-17-2003, 03:46 AM
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#5
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Mentor
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,776
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Having grown up in a Funeral Home, my first thought was an autopsy lab...by the way Bob,
what were you on when you wrote this! 
__________________
To a Sr. Citizen, age is an attitude, not a number...To the young, attitude will get you fired!
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10-17-2003, 01:53 PM
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#6
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Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New York
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,210
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Hi guys, thanks for the feedback
Beatrice
It was late at night and I was high on coffee.
Kim and rage
I was thinking along those sames lines of it being an alien buthershop> My original title was the "The cleaning crew" I was trying to depict a crew cleaning up a murder scene , a special ops crew of sorts, and then I tryed to turn that around and make it a butcher type setting and then I got lost. Maybe I'll try to pick it up again when my brains working better.
hollyoake
I'll try to make it more bloody. If this piece had the feel of a Q.T. work maybe I better retrieve it from the trash heap.
Happy writing all
warmest regards,
bob
__________________
Nature weeps, the devil sings
at man’s greed and pride
and what it brings
Just lots of useless
little things…
God is Dead; He died yesterday from Nothing...
http://theoddvillepress.com
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10-20-2003, 01:52 AM
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#7
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: not actually IN mumsville... uk really!
Posts: 1,633
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yes more blood please!
*is drawling*
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