CountBlabula

Mr. Phillips, the jeweler of Mt. Juliet, Tennessee, is working late again, fixing a watch in his shop, while his wife, Madeline, waits angrily at home. She won't have to wait long though: this watch should be an easy fix-- all it needs is a new spring. So he opens his toolbox and fishes around for a replacement. He finds one he needs, and without any fuss, pops it in. He's almost ready to go. But first, he sweeps the floor, and locks up the shop. He's outside now.

As he walks towards his car in the lonely moonlight, he takes a look around. He doesn't see much, and he hops in his car and drives home.

Once he gets home, he reads a book, then falls asleep. His wife wakes him and the couple discuss politics. Then Mr. Phillips and his wife both fall asleep again.

PSFoster

Sorry, but this is dull. I thought it was going somewhere at first, but was evidently wrong.

Spice it up!

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CountBlabula

This didn't quite capture the essence of Tennessee. haha

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broadwayenthusiast

Hmm, this was certainly intriguing. I think PSFoster meant that your story was dull, not your writing, because the no-fuss, straightforward language captured how a dull small town life would be. Evidently it worked so well that it made your writing seem dull. But your writing was fluent and has potential to weave a much more interesting story; if you just add dialogue to the part where Mr. Phillips and his wife discuss politics, I think this could be part of a much larger work -- a short story or novella, perhaps. Good luck.

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There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.