Tiamat10

I don't think I've ever made a post in File 13 before. Not that I don't have crap stories, but I never felt like posting them. This one annoys me though so I figured what the hell...

All of Sharon’s exes had a tendency to become more attractive after she broke up with them, and Walter was no exception. They’d gone two full years without speaking and then he walked into her favorite bookstore as casually as though he actually enjoyed reading.

He’d grown a goatee, gotten a slight tan on his usually pasty white skin, and let his hair get a little longer. For a second, Sharon envied the wavy ponytail as it lounged against his back, feeling his warmth, and then Walter’s slate blue eyes locked onto hers and she had to remind herself how to breathe.

Two years, and she could still remember exactly how his lips tasted. She wanted to feel the softness of them, to part them with the tip of her tongue. Instead, she put down the book she was going to buy, smoothed her hair, and ambled towards him.

“Of all the bookstores in all the world, you had to walk into mine,” she said with a grin.

The corners of his mouth twitched but the amusement didn’t reach his eyes. “You’re looking well, Sharon.”

Her smile faltered and she came to a stop farther away from him than she’d intended, almost as though she could see the invisible hands that held her at arm’s length. She hesitated. “How’ve you been?”

“Why are you asking? You don’t really want to know,” he said. “How’s the boyfriend?” He spoke the words calmly, letting them flow from his lips with no hint of sharpness or malice.

He might as well have slapped her in the face.

She took another half step back, steeled herself and gave a little shrug. “Wonderful,” she said. “Living with his fiery redhead by now, I’d imagine.”

“I see.” Walter glanced at one of the shelves but Sharon knew he wasn’t paying attention to the books. “Shame, that.”

She nodded, unsure if he saw or not, and a silence full of all the things she wanted to say grew between them while Joni Mitchell’s ‘Both Sides Now’ played in the background.

He continued to pretend to scan the books, making no move to continue the conversation, but not walking away either. She watched him a long moment and then shifted her weight and looked away.

“You haven’t changed,” she whispered.

When he still didn’t answer, Sharon sighed and turned away, but she didn’t make it more than a step when he spoke.

“Do you want to go sit down somewhere?”

She looked at him again and saw that some of the stiffness had left his features. She nodded.

He turned and led her through the bookshelves, past cookbooks, dictionaries, and the magazine section until they reached ‘the lounge,’ as the regulars called it—a small carpeted space in the back corner filled with overstuffed chairs and wooden stools. All but one of the cushioned seats were taken and Walter dragged it away from the rest and told her to have a seat. She eased herself into it while he fetched a wooden desk chair and sat down opposite her.

Silence fell. Sharon shifted in her seat and picked at something underneath her fingernail.

“So…” she said, wanting to avoid another awkward pause. “I learned Swedish. I decided I—”

“You got what you deserved,” he interrupted.

She opened her mouth to speak, closed it, and then opened it once more while she struggled for the words.

He continued. “You promised me you’d never leave me just to be with someone else. You promised that if you left it would be because of something that happened between us. You gave me your word, Sharon.”

Two years, and the conversation was still the same. She needed to make him understand. “Walter, listen,” Sharon began. “It wasn’t like—”

“You swore it.” He leaned forward and peered into her eyes. “I don’t care what it was like. If you didn’t think you could keep your promise, you shouldn’t have made it. You absolutely deserved to have the same thing done to you.”

He was right, of course, but if anything, that only made it harder to admit it.

She looked away from the determined features of his face. “When I made that promise, I didn’t know you were going to be so damned distant all the time.”

“Indeed.”

“See?” she snapped. “There you go, retreating into your own head again. Just like you did in the middle of every fight we ever had.”

He gripped the arms of the chair and glanced towards the exit. “This was a mistake,” he said. “I should go.”

Sharon gritted her teeth. “If you get out of that chair, I’m going to cause a scene,” she hissed.

He gave her a hard look but sank into the chair again. “Alright, then. What do you want?”

“No, what do you want? You’re the one that came here, you’re the one that asked me to sit here. What exactly do you want, Walter?”

He continued to glare at her but when she didn’t back down, his eyes trailed to the floor. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“To be beside you,” he whispered. “To stand beside you, to wake up beside you, to eat dinner beside you. That’s all I ever wanted.” He risked a glance at her but looked away immediately.

Her heart felt as though it would burst from her chest, so she took a deep breath to slow it.

“I’m…flattered,” she said but he held up a hand to stop her.

“Please,” he said, shaking his head. “No more broken promises. No more white lies. Just this once, Sharon, give me a straight answer.”

She looked away, already knowing her answer, but trying to talk herself out of it. She’d already been with him once and left. One conversation was not enough to change a person; he would still be cold and distant. But he was a good man and he loved her.

Was that enough?

She met his eyes again and watched the resignation seep its way into them. She had always loved his eyes.

“So…” he said and stared at his clenched hands in his lap. “You learned Swedish, have you? Say something, then.”

She didn’t know whether to be happy or sad that he knew her so well.

“What do you want me to say?”

“That you still love me,” he whispered.

She stared at him, feeling the seconds drift by, heavier with each breath she took. Finally, she licked her lips and answered.

“Jag älskar dig,” she said.

He jerked his head up, a smile forming on his face, but she shook her head.

“I love you,” she repeated in English and stood up, looking down on his coppery hair tied back so neatly. She shrugged. “But so what?”

Not waiting for his reaction, she hurried toward the exit, wishing with every step that she could go back but knowing that she couldn’t.

For once in her life, it was time to go forward.

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alanmt

I don't have time atm to read this tiamat, but will try to get back to it, for the sole reason that I love this song, although I (mistakenly) have always thought it was written by Judy Collins, who released it first.

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Damien.

Hmm... it's good writing, but I think someone should be murdered.

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Hawke

Hey T,

I really liked this. It's clean and straightforward and completely realistic. No big car chases or wildnesses or heavy, weighty fillers (I'm not talking pastries here), and it didn't need any, either. Just a slice of life. I didn't look for nits, just enjoyed.

Thank you for the read.

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PSFoster

I liked it, too.

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I'm too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed.

Sam Winchester

I'll get back to this for you tomorrow, Steph. Looks good so far.

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Don't unlock doors you're not prepared to go through.

Tiamat10

Wow, I expected the replies to this to be more like Damien's. The reason I was so annoyed with it was because I felt like nothing of much significance really happens in it.

Cool to know that it works that way though. Thanks everyone.

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comma127

Sounds like a mills and boon novel. Which I'm afraid to say I have read and liked The shame. I wonder if they will eject me from the man club. On the up side, this means that I like your piece.

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Will I live, will I die, will I bleed for this fantasy in my dreams? Through your eyes, tell me, do you see me kill to make it reality?

What is it that we all fear? Reflections in the mirror. We can't escape fate, the end is getting nearer.

DrabblesAreMeh

I really liked it to.
Amazing how people get tired of the drama and suspense sometimes and end up liking a 'slice of life'.
~Aliarcy

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Sam Winchester

Ain't that the truth! It's like a child with a toy. When he has it, it's not that important or good looking to him. But when someone else has it, that toy is the best thing in the world and he just has to have it!

Something about the two "as's" in this sentence just comes off wrong for me. Maybe drop the first one after "bookstore," and use bracketing commas for "casually" instead.

Can't really find much else, Steph. Super writing, but I expected as much. I think the ending came a little abruptly. Almost as though you were hurrying to finish it. I think it would have worked better if it'd taken her longer to walk away. Maybe make it that she's making a very hard decision, but one that's necessary for her life to go on.

Good read. Thanks.

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Don't unlock doors you're not prepared to go through.

The Backward OX

Nice story.

But . . . .there's always a goddamn 'but' lurking somewhere . . . you've personified the ponytail by allowing it to feel warmth.

Tiamat10

Thanks. And that was actually kind of the point. I'm not personifying it; Sharon is.

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PSFoster

I love your avatar, by the way.

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I'm too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed.

Tiamat10

Lol, thanks. It looks like my grandpa, actually.

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moderan

Good piece. Very realistic. "...I felt like nothing of much significance really happens in it."
What happens in people's lives is significant to them. You don't always need large social issues or earthquakes to make a point, and especially not to entertain. Ice cream castles in the air don't always melt
Relationship stories are not my usual reading preference, and this is one, but it is well-done and readable.

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