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Chainsaw_Monkey · 06-13-2008, 02:06 PM

*Please dont Critises for this is my first story*

( and also i cant think of a good title >.< )

It was a cold winter Night as Dragon Was Sprinting Lungs on Fire Becuase he was being chased through the Old Woods He was Being Chased By a mythical Being . A werewolf (He Had Just Been Going for a walk .) He Tried to climb up one of the Old Redwoods But he could'nt so he hided In a Glade Thick with Fog He New something Was amiss so he Scooped up some dirt and threw it .BOOM it set of a land mine So he Edged around the glade And Hid Behide a Bush Just as the Beast Burst through The Opening . It Sniffed the Air It Knew That Dragon was Here but not Exactly Where . He Stood up and Pointed at the Beast Saying With a lot of Confidence " Try Me Stupid Beast ! " The Wolf Lept and Dragon who had Prepared threw Dirt at Another Land mine
BOOM there was an Immense Explosion Dragon Got threw Backwards Onto the Cold Hard Ground...It all Went Black

So If i get a good Reveiw Ill maybe Carry On i Have already made It But i Want to make sure so i wont be posting for nothing

Chainsaw_Monkey · 06-13-2008, 02:27 PM

*Please dont Critises for this is my first story*

( and also i cant think of a good title >.< )

It was a cold winter Night as Dragon Was Sprinting Lungs on Fire Becuase he was being chased through the Old Woods He was Being Chased By a mythical Being . A werewolf (He Had Just Been Going for a walk .) He Tried to climb up one of the Old Redwoods But he could'nt so he hided In a Glade Thick with Fog He New something Was amiss so he Scooped up some dirt and threw it .BOOM it set of a land mine So he Edged around the glade And Hid Behide a Bush Just as the Beast Burst through The Opening . It Sniffed the Air It Knew That Dragon was Here but not Exactly Where . He Stood up and Pointed at the Beast Saying With a lot of Confidence " Try Me Stupid Beast ! " The Wolf Lept and Dragon who had Prepared threw Dirt at Another Land mine
BOOM there was an Immense Explosion Dragon Got threw Backwards Onto the Cold Hard Ground...It all Went Black

So If i get a good Reveiw Ill maybe Carry On i Have already made It But i Want to make sure so i wont be posting for nothing

WriteStuff · 06-14-2008, 10:37 AM

Revise it and rewrite it, then try again. Since you don't want critises(?), I can't do much for you.