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Old 06-09-2008, 06:17 AM   #1
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I Hear a Humming in My Head - 3890

The school year is coming to an end and my writing class is doing a horror contest. I haven't given the class all that much attention so I thought I'll give this one thing all my attention. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think.

I Hear a Humming in My Head


I hear a humming in my head. It is deep and resonating and I can feel the blood pulsating in my temple. My mind is fragmenting and I feel a pain as if my elastic brain tissues are craving to be put back into place. And I so very want it to. I want it to stop, but it is merciless, and relentless. It will never stop. They will never stop coming.


Slowly, my eyes open and I awake to consciousness. I see a rough, grainy stone texture before my face. It has a greenish hue to it. The smell, it is saturated with foul smells; smells such as mould, sweat, murky water, rust, and something else similar to metal, Blood.


I can hear water wrinkle and resonate, and droplets fall and splatter. I can feel a cold chill in my heart. A cold that I refuse to shiver to, it’s just there. I do nothing however. I only let my senses dwell in me, as if I were not of this physical world. Nothing is real to me at this moment. Until finally, I move my fingers one at a time. And suddenly, I am real again. I breathe heavily in and out, but then it seems my breathing isn’t responding to me. Suddenly I panic, the world coming to me even stronger now. I would even try to vary my breath, but I hear the same heavy pattern, as if it weren’t my own.


Out of desperation I force myself up, as I do, I hear a loud feminine gasp that isn’t my own. It is too much for my body to manage, I quickly fall over again, grabbing on to a small white wheeled table to keep myself standing. I look up, and I suddenly realize why I could not control my breathing, because it wasn’t mine. There before me was a girl, heavily bound to a stone wall on all limbs. She breaths heavily and looks at me with wide, trembling eyes. Tears were drying on her face.


Her mouth opens lips that are barely able to stop shaking. “You...your here?”


I barely understand the question. “Yes, where am I?”


Her lips form into a smile and her eyes spell relief. She gives a slight laugh. But I don’t remember anything. I look at my surroundings. I still don’t know where I am. It appears to be a very large stone tunnel that leads into darkness at both ends. We stand in the only place of illumination. There are tables scattered everywhere. They resemble those you see in a surgery room.


Suddenly I remember everything, and a rush of images and sounds impale my mind. I almost wish I had not, so many girls. I can still hear the screams tear at my ear drums. I could do nothing to stop it, nothing. All I could do was watch, helpless.


The girl is still staring at me; she seems to be getting impatient.


“Quick, release me before they get here. Please, I beg you.”


“My mind, it’s so...”


She stops and looks at me with terror again. Slowly I make my way to her. Her impatience is dwindling.


“Hurry!”


The abruptness, and desperation in her voice startles me and I begin to pick up my pace. When I get to her, I am immediately confused. I see a myriad of leather belts all tangled into chaos. It’s as if someone did not want her to be released in a rush.


“I don’t know where to start.”


“Just do it!”


Again, I spur into adrenaline. I quickly fiddle with the first belt until it is undone, then the next, then the next. Her arm is struggling to get free, and I am annoyed.


“I can’t do this if you keep struggling.”


“Please, just release me.”


It must have been about five minutes but I finally untied all the belts and her arm springs to freedom. She immediately swings it to her other arm and begins undoing the belts.


“I’ll try to do this arm. Do my legs, hurry!”


“Ok”


I bend over but before I could even touch the leather, I hear a loud, booming echo with no apparent source. I quickly stand up and look into the darkness at all ends. I see nothing.


“What is it?”


“Did you hear that?”


“I didn’t hear anything.”


“It was like a loud bang, or something.”


Again I hear it, this time even louder, and closer.


“There it is again.”


She screams at me, even louder then she had before. “Hurry, release me before they get here! Please! Hurry!”


She claws at her arm to set it free. I spring into action. I release, one, then the next, then the next, but with time weighing on my shoulders, I can’t untie belts fast enough. That loud booming sound was getting louder, and approaching still. I can hear her harsh breathing as she flails for freedom and it fills me with agony, and sorrow. I try harder, but still too little effect. I hear the sound again, this time as if it were directly behind me. Try harder, set her free.


But it was too late.


I stand up straight; I grab her free wrist and throw it against the wall with a painful crack as her knuckles slam into the stone wall. Her breath stops suddenly with a gasp, and she looks straight into my eyes, her pupils shrinking as all hope is lost.


“I’m sorry, they are here. I can’t control them anymore.”


Her screams echo amongst the walls.
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Last edited by Ghost.X : 06-10-2008 at 03:16 PM.
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Old 06-09-2008, 10:56 AM   #2
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I'm still not sure sure what 'they' is. Violent urges?

Anyways, yah it was creepy, well-written and victory-worthy!
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Old 06-09-2008, 01:14 PM   #3
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Hmm... Good. You got me at the end - I like that

Watch your tenses though - a couple of times you jump from present to past tense. It was a bit off putting, but not much.
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Old 06-10-2008, 03:17 PM   #4
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I tried to fix all those verb tenses. I'm pretty sure I got emm all this time, but let me know if you catch any.

Also, they are whatever you make of them lol.
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