Inara

*NOTE: I realize there's a book called Dragon Rider by Cornelia Funke, but this story in no shape, way or form draws any inspiration from her work. These ideas are wholly my own and if they in any way resemble Ms. Funke's work, I apologize now and will not know unless somebody points them out to me. I have never read her book and do not intend to until I have finished writing my own Riders story.*

Sorry. Had to do that. This is probably the whole thing of "similar titles, different ideas", but I just wanted to clarify that for anybody who might be suspecting this of being a fanfiction or plagirism.
Also, imagery kind of sucks but this is one of my best imagery stories. Imagery is the hardest part of writing for me.
*cough* Also, in the prologue, you'll see the words "manhood" and "womanhood", but I obviously mean the characters they're describing are on the edge of becoming adults. You should be able to tell that in context, but just thought I'd say so now.
Now, onto the story.
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Prologue

A loud roar split the air like the crack of a whip. Fire red wings sliced through the air as the head moved back and forth on the long, slender neck. A voice rang out through the chilled night air from the flying reptile's back. A youth on the edge of manhood clung to one of the spines protruding from the dragon's back. His golden honey hair was slicked back from the biting cold wind, but he paid no heed to the temperature. He whipped his head back, sapphire eyes sparkling with fear. The stunning sapphire eyes widened alarm as he saw a long brown arm reach out. It swatted the dragon and his Rider toward the ground. The massive hand hit the two like a landslide. The dragon nearly passed out, but managed to keep concious. He flapped his wings and did his best to get lift, but two hands clapped around the dragon and Rider, capturing them. The giant stopped running and turned around, heading back to its lair.

Chapter 1

A long, pure white dragon sliced through the air, a long, green mane trailing behind her. Tips of emerald green grass still wet with dew brushed the dragon's belly as she flew near her top speed. A girl's head whipped around her and long bron hair followed. She caught a glint of emerald green behind her. The girl gulped and gently patted the dragon beneath her with her legs. The dragon strained to go faster as a long green dragon pulled up near her. Kaid, the girl on the white dragon, glanced at the girl on the backof the emerald dragon. The other girl smirked and her dragon pulled ahead. Laksha, the white dragon, glared at the emerald dragon, her blue eyes smouldering with determination as she did a single large loop in the air and floated over the finish line, then touched down. Kaid got off of Laksha. "Good job, Laksha." She smiled and her deep brown eyes showed satisfaction as the girl with with long green hair stormed over, her violet eyes blazing with rage. Kaida also watched as the emerald dragon turned into a fifteen year old boy with short, dirt brown hair and steely, icy blue eyes. She also watched as Laksha turned into a sixteen year old girl with sky blue eyes and long brown hair.
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I realize that was short and I should post more, but I don't have too much of the story completed. I'm still somewhere in just the beginning of chapter 2, so I don't want to post too much too fast. Of course, I can just add on, but I'd rather just type what I already have than have to print out and add on to what I have. And just a side note. When the dragons transform into their human forms, they are clothed. I know it doesn't make sense, but it's fantasy and there's magic, so yeah. Also, that's only the first paragraph of chapter 1. I'll post more of it later.

lin

Your problem might not be "similar title", but "similar content, imagry, etc".

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Inara

I looked a few summaries of Ms. Funke's book and it seems to me that my ideas are strictly different. In mine, there's a heirarchy of Riders and Tamers and such and not to mention it takes place on a different planet while hers takes place in Scotland.

Hers seems to focus on a dragon saving its home against human encroachment wherein mine has dragons and humans going on missions, working as a team.
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Chapter 1 cont

"Oh you!" The girl with green hair glared at Kaida.
"Nimeesha, I've told you time and again that you have to befriend Damek. You can't become a Gold Rank unless you become friends." Kaida smiled as she looked at Laksha, one of her long time friends and protectors. Laksha smiled back, then turned around, Kaida blinked as she saw a sixteen year old boy with short white hair and sky blue eyes run over. "Kenyon!" She ran over to Laksha's brother. "What's up?"
"Ryuho...needs...to...speak with...you...and Nimeesha..." Kenyon bent over, huffing and gasping for breath as he had run a quarter of a mile to reach the training grounds from Ryuho's quarters.
"Let's go." Kaida started striding to the north, the direction Kenyon had come from. She and Laksha began chattering about the weather and a wedding that was going to happen soon between the Gold Rank Rider Hoi and the Bronze Rank Rider Likuna. The announcement had sent riples of excitement and awe through the whole of Jamin. Though the land was vast, news travelled fairly quickly because of the Riders. It was an exciting event because this was the first time in some twenty years two Riders had gotten married. Though marrige of Riders wasn't outlawed or looked down upon, it was an extremely rare event. The life of a Rider was dangerous and the average life expectancy was only twenty-six years.
The last time two Riders had gotten married had ended in tragedy as it often did. Faina, the wife, had gone on a Normal Rank mission to Timi in the Solina Islands. She was delivering supplies to the inhabitants after a tropical storm had wrought destruction on the island. On her way to the island, an angry ex-Rider of Fimbri, an island to the west of Thimi, spotted her. The ex-Rider had been dishonorably discharged after attacking a Rider of Solencia. The battle between the two Riders went on for two hours until the ex-Rider's dragon broke Nira's, Faina's dragon, wing, causing them to plunge into the ocean. Jamin and the Solina Islands nearly went to war, but after it was found out it was an ex-Rider, the tensions subsided.
Kenyon listened to the girls talk. The weding was some time in the early fall, roughly four months away. He knew that all the Riders were invited and it was an extremely formal event. He sighed at the thought of having to wear formal clothes. He had always hate having to wear tight, stiff clothes. Luckily, his thoughs were cut short by seeing Ryuho's quarters. Even though Ryuho was one of the wealthiest people in Jamin, if not all of Valacia, he chose to live in a humble, four-room cabin. He lived with his pregnant wife and dragon.
The small group walked into the cozy living room of Ryuho's quarters. Kaida looked around at the humble living room. Though the captain perferred not flaunt his wealth around, there were some things in the living room that showed he clearly had money. A couch covered by deep cerulean silk sat against the west wall and was visible on the left as one walked in. The deep hue of cerulean was a dye only avalible from Valence (which lay far to the south) and the quality of the silk showed that it was clearly from Thidrio. A desk where he worked and packed with papers was made of pitch black wod and showed that iwas made of the pitch oak from Ilomi. A pair of chairs made of the same deep cerulean silk sat against the north wall.
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I realize I rammer on about things that really have nothing to do with the plot but this is the way I wrote it and it just doesn't feel right typing it without the rammering on. It's really just extra information, though the description of Ryuho's quarters does give you a bit of a feel to what Valacia is like at least economy wise. I might use some of these things later on in the story as mentions, so it might be good to have the rammering on.
Also, next part will probably FINALLY be getting into the plot. I'm just not in much of a typing mood at the moment. I'm typing this from my handwritten copy as I go.

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"The crescent moon shining with its silver beams, cradle me in your grasp so I may gently fall into slumber until the sun rises"
-Me

lin

I have no idea who Ms. Funke is, but I'd say anybody who sees the title and reads two paragraphs is going to say, "Great, another Eragon. Which was another....."

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MiloDaePesdan

Too many adjectives bog the prose down. I don't see any purpose to having a prologue here, it could be omitted.

Repetitive adjectives and phrases mean that the writer doesn't know how to say what they want to say. I had problems with visualising this too, since if the dragon is slicing through the air I picture it as flying above the treetops, and mentioning grass means its hugging low to the ground.

That sounds a lot like Anne McCaffery's Pern series. I'm not going to bug you about the concept but if you're going to write with that idea in mind, make sure it is by God either refreshing or well-written.



Milo
Eragon was poorly executed.

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Elipsis

I agree with lin. there are almost too many stories about knaves riding dragons and conquering evil with their fire breathing companion. Even if there are different aspects compared to other books, this still lacks originality.

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MiloDaePesdan

How about knaves being hunted by dragons?



Milo

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Elipsis

I think that has been used too many times also.

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writer_87

I like it. What it lacks in originality, it makes up for in imagination and shows a strong passion for dragon tales.

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lin

Don't get me wrong. The fact there are a lot of dragon rider books out there means there are a lot of people who like to read them.

But you will be fighting that from the moment an agent picks up the MS. And the title doesn't help one little bit. I would pick something less "stock".

The price you pay for doing a similar book is that it has to be a really great story, and very well written.

We can't tell about the story at this point, but I'd suggest you pay attention to Milo's comments on wordiness, double adjectives, and repetition. They hate that shit.

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Candrah

I agree with lin too...

This is a "stock" dragon story. I love dragons but I get the feeling that these days, the market is seriously flooded with them.

One thing in your favour is your descriptions of them. It makes them that bit more unique. But, having said that I'm now going to agree with Milo. Mostly, the irrelevant descriptions and unecessary background info just get in the way of the story.

If you can make this a "not standard" dragon story - I'll read it and give feedback.

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Dragons are my first love: www.candragonart.com

I leave feedback as a reader - feel free to take anything I say with a bucketful of salt.

mi is happy

There are so many books a bout Dragon riders it's pathetic. Inara, you better have an awesome story if you want you book to be anything good.
This part felt like you were rushing a lot and I just got confused. I'd fix it.

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WARNING: VERRRRY HAPPY PERSON!

Foxee

There is also the 'Dragon Riders of Pern' series. I'd really suggest a title change.

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mi is happy

Yes it's a grand series, Foxy. Also you could go to the $1 book store and find aisles of books about dragon riders.

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JHB

Dragons, vampires, elves... They're all the same.



Overused.