Wow, Inara, you're quite defensive. I know you're only sixteen, so let me give you a piece of advice that will make your career a whole lot easier: Just suck it up.
Not trying to be condescending, but critiques are the easiest when you don't say anything other than "Thank you," even to the obviously poor ones. When you defend them excessively, you take the comments as a personal attack, and your work suffers in the process. There's no room for growth. I think people get the wrong ideas about these writing forums. Critiques should be used by those who feel confident in their writing and know they need improvement, as oppossed to those just starting out. I don't think you should subject yourself to critique yet, but just keep in mind you're still learning and everything at this point is an exercise (Unless of course, you personally feel you're at a level you'd like to be).
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Originally Posted by Inara
Title: I'm not very good with titles overall, so all of mine are in the works. I just kind of choose genaric ones at the beginning unless I can come up with a better one half way through or something.
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That's fine, but just understand that as it stands, the title is too similiar to previous titles on the market.
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Originally Posted by Inara
Adjectives: I realize there's a lot of repetition, but when I'm writing, I never have a thesaurus on me, so I can't look up words that are similar.
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Ouch. Nothing sticks out more in a writer's work than her insecurity. It's quite obvious when a writer has used a thesaurus. My advice: Don't. This comment was a bit moot. Try reading a Steinbeck novel and you'll find many instances where he repeats the same word in the same paragraph. This is all a matter of style.
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Originally Posted by Inara
"Plagarism": [just for lack of a better term at the moment] I really draw little inspiration from other books and stuff. I've not even read most of them. I never read Eragon, Dragonheart, Riders of Pern, ect. Aside from Eragon, I've not even heard of them.
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Which can work against you. How do you know you're not just rehashing the same tired old plots? I don't think there's anything wrong with writing about Dragon Riders, so long as you put a fresh perspective on it. I assume, "Never have read any of them" is the number one defense in court and is apt to cause no one to take you seriously.
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Originally Posted by Inara
Also keep in mind this is only my very first draft. Also, mind that I'm still developing my ideas as I go. If my ideas meet in line with others, it is completely unknowing and unintended.
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Why are you posting your very first draft? No one wants to read a work in progress. Critique is most beneficial when you have revised your work to death, knowing that you are finally unable to distinguish any glaring errors yourself and need an outside opinion.
Unless of course, you're here for praise, and at Sixteen, I'm sure that's the case. If that's what you want, I'd stick with your family and friends, because critiques at this point will only be counterproductive.
Good luck.
