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Old 06-03-2008, 10:15 PM   #1
A-L
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In question

The title is still in question, but I have decided to start a new novel, (not quite complete with the other one) but this idea struck me and I am going to roll with it. I hope you enjoy.

The room was silent, except for the occasional rustling of papers and the sound of pencils running across paper. James sat still, with his head cradled in his arms, looking at his feet planted firmly beneath the desk. His pencil hadn’t moved in the last twenty minutes, as he had finished the exam rather quickly. Man, I wish I had my I-pod. He lifted his head from his arms to look at his teacher, Mr. Case. The tall man stood with both hands in his pockets and a bored look on his face. His empty eyes fell on James, and lit up. James pointed to his paper and smiled, Mr. Case returned the smile, pointed to his watch and mouthed, “That was fast.” He nodded, and mouthed back, “It was easy.” His teacher winked and took a seat in his chair; he leaned his head on his hand and was quickly asleep. James shook with silent laughter at his teacher and placed his head back on the desk. He reached back and drew his hood over his head, and closed his eyes.

His eyes snapped open. Immediately he felt pain in his head, and down his side. He tried to rise and realized that he was on the floor. Pain exploded down his right side, and lights flashed before his eyes. He lay still for a while, letting the pain subside. How did I get on the floor? Carefully he moved his left hand, and tentatively removed the hood from his head. Light fell across his face, temporarily blinding him. When he was finally able to see, he couldn’t believe what he saw.

The wall that had been adjacent to his seat was gone. In its place was a monstrous hole, and rain poured through it, drenching him. He couldn’t quite make out what was outside, as a desk had fallen in front of him. Slowly James turned to his left side, and with as much care as possible, he pushed upwards with his left arm. Twisting about, he tried to get into a sitting position. Suddenly there was a brutal twist of pain down his side, darkness threatened at the edge of his vision. Clenching his jaw against the pain, he managed to sit up, and after a few minutes more he stood shakily.


What in the world? Before him, as far as he could see, everything lay in ruin. The auditorium, which had once risen to his left, was simply…gone. The parking lot, the football field, the trees and roads, everything he could see was ruined. Cars had been crushed under some unknown force, their tires exploded and windows busted. James could see the bloody ruin of people inside of them from where he stood. Concrete had been shoved aside, leaving nothing but bare earth; rain water ran in rivulets over the exposed earth, like rivers in a canyon. The groups of trees that had lined the road were flattened; their trunks and limbs brutally contorted where they lie on the ground, and as far as he could see everything had been…flattened. Where homes had once stood, he saw nothing but debris and what might have been their foundations. He could no longer see the bridge up the street, and he assumed that it had fallen into the river. Nothing was as it should have been. It was as if a storm had swept over everything leaving utter destruction in its wake. Wh-how did this happen?! His heart was suddenly hammering in his chest as his disbelief and shock were overtaken by reality. Suddenly he was having difficulty breathing and the room began to grow dim. I, I can’t believe-darkness swept over him.

Last edited by A-L : 06-03-2008 at 10:30 PM.
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Old 06-03-2008, 10:42 PM   #2
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I like it, so please don't have it end in: I woke up.
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Old 06-04-2008, 04:58 AM   #3
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That is where I thought it was heading too. Ah well.

Either way I like what I see and await further work.
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Old 06-04-2008, 06:03 AM   #4
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Thanks to you both for reading it! I'll try and put more up later on this evening, if at all possible.
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Old 06-05-2008, 08:43 PM   #5
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Bit late but...Well here it is.

He awoke to the sound of sirens. He tried to rise, but just as before the pain in his side prevented him from getting up. Behind him he could hear the crunching of shoes over the rubble. “Hey”-he cried weakly, his throat was dry and he began to cough. “Hey, over”-he was overcome by another fit of coughing, “over here!” He finally managed to shout. Tremendous pain racked his midsection. The footsteps stopped and then he could hear them turn in his direction. “Please,” he sobbed. He could see boots stop next to him, and then a man knelt down, a hard hat and a large jacket-a fireman.

“Don’t worry, I got ya kid.” James felt his hand scoop under his head, and the other swept up his legs. He cried out, and nearly lost consciousness as the man adjusted his grip and moved his hand under his midsection. “Oh, sorry kid, shit your ribs must be broken.”
I was thinking the same thing.

“Don’t worry. I’ll get you out of here and you’ll be alright.” The fireman was strong and carried James like a child through the wrecked room and into the hallway. James closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see anything else. He had already seen enough. Sometime later, he reopened them to find that he was lying on a bed, and it was moving. There was a jolt, and he cursed at the pain.

“Whoa, he’s awake. No thanks to your driving Rick.” A woman moved to stand next to him and she looked him in the eyes while she checked his pulse.

I’m in an ambulance.

“Hey, well these roads aren’t in the best of conditions, if you hadn’t noticed.” James guessed the driver was Rick.

The woman spoke softly to him. “Can you speak? Are you uncomfortable at all?” She suddenly turned to her right. “And Rick will you please shut that music off?!”

James hadn’t even noticed the music in background, but when he did it stopped abruptly. “I can speak just fine, but my side is killing me.”

She turned back towards him and smiled. “He speaks!” She shouted. “Alright, well my name is Courtney, and you already know Rick.” She paused. “Uh, the pain in your side is because you’ve broken more than a few ribs, I didn’t administer any medicine as you were unconscious, but I’m assuming you’d rather be really happy, instead of really hurt. Am I right?” She moved her hand about for a few seconds before James caught on.

“Oh, yeah my names James, and happy sounds good.”

“James. Good.” She smiled, showing dazzlingly white teeth. “Sorry if the rides a bit long,” she said while rummaging through a steel box, “there aren’t any hospitals around these parts.”

“What do you mean? There’s a hospital not too far from my school.”
Courtney stopped rummaging through the box and sighed. “Not anymore there isn’t.”

“I-I don’t understand.”

Her shoulders drooped. “Everything from Ann Arbor to Detroit is gone.” She turned to look back at him. “I’m really sorry James.”

Last edited by A-L : 06-07-2008 at 02:42 AM.
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Old 06-06-2008, 11:34 AM   #6
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Hi. I like it a lot. It has a very Alyce in Wonderland or Matrix feel to it but with what i have read so far it seems to be a lot more original... I hope to read more of this.
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Old 06-06-2008, 12:01 PM   #7
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Thanks for reading it! Since todays friday I'll try and get some more up today.
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Old 06-07-2008, 01:57 AM   #8
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Nice addition...I'm still interested to see where this is going. Keep the good stuff coming
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Old 06-07-2008, 02:47 AM   #9
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Thanks for reading it...again. I'll have some more up later on today.
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Old 06-07-2008, 12:14 PM   #10
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Epic.
Apocalyptic world, without him knowing what happened!

Post up some more, curses.
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